Knife Fightin'

Knife Fightin'

by Evil_Tree

So you want to learn the ancient art of knife fighting. Knife fighting can be very useful. It can be used for rolling drunks, taking peoples money, and most inportantly, deffending yourself when you're out of ammo for your .357.

Firstly, you need a knife. Any thing will work, you could use a kitchen knife to a switchblade. I personaly carry a Buck hunting knife with a 5" blade. When buying a knife get something with a 4" or greater blade.

Going shoping for a knife can be very hard. Take someone with knoledge on knives and hunting with you. If none of these people are avlible ask the clerk. Go to a hunting/sporting goods store and get something resonabley priced. Here are some useful tips:

• Get a folding knife if posible, they are easier to carry around
• Make sure the knife fits nicely in your hand, when you find the right knife to will be apparent
• Knives that can be flipped out with one hand are cool but not always the best. I hate to controdict my self but a knife that can be opened with one hand adds to your badassatude.
• If you can't dish out the $40 for a blade like the ones spoken of in the latter tip, go to ACE and buy one of those box cutter knives the high jackers used (let them burn in hell)

Now you should be ready to brawl. You need some cool lines like, " Hey pal, get the fuck out of my way or I'll cut your dick of and attach it to your face so you litaraly are a cock face!" " Cheif, go the hell over there and practice bleedin' so you're ready when I cut your damn throat." " Come on needle dick, make my day!" Say things like that while pulling your knife out for added effects. This usally will send those ass holes running.

Let's say that they want to fight you. Don't run, stay cool and you will win. Fight dirty don't them get a blade out gou in for the kill imeatiatly. Go for a first shot in the gut to mame them, pull your blade out of their gut fast and ignore the blood. Take a few more shots to their gut and they usally will give up.

Let's say that they don't surrender. Stay cool. Ingnore the blood. Knock them to the ground with all of your might and stab their chest and neck repeatedly. After a few shots like this they will be dead.

Did you think I was gonna leave you hanging on the clean up? Of coutse not! You must burn the body, your clothes, and the witnesses (JK). Let the witnesses be unless they have film. Then leave the country. Wipe your knife of finger prints and drop it into a sewer on the other side of town. Creat an alibi, but most of all be thankful you're alive.

Evil_Tree
the republican rouge