The Office Bow of Death

The Office Bow of Death

by Brian Xmas

Note: This information is provided as "Educational Knowledge". This weapon can actually penetrate flesh, muscle and eyeballs. I am not responsible for the mis-use of this knowledge.

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Materials and Tools

Parts:

• 4 Wooden Rulers
• Box of PaperMate Pens
• Bag of 84 size Rubber Bands(Office Max Brand)
• Strapping Tape
• Small length of Cat5 cable
• Optional for arrow head - Paperclip, razors, penny

Tools:

• One Leatherman (or similar plier multitool)
• One Pair of scissors
• One Candle (for heating plastic)
• One Lighter (to light the candle...duh!)

Construction




Office Bow : Fully Assembled

Bow(of "Death") Assembly

Step 1 - Put 2 rulers back to back and tape them together. This is done to increase their strength. Repeat for the other 2 rulers. **If your rulers have holes be sure to line up the holes.

Step 2 - Now over lap the 2 taped rulers slightly and angle them back so it creates a very wide "V". **If your ruler has holes be sure to put the holes at the opposite ends of where you are taping.

Step 3 - Get that strapping tape out and start taping. **Make sure you pull the strapping tape VERY tight each turn around the rulers. If you fail to get it tight enough the bow won't work.

Stringing the Bow(of "Death")

Step 1 - Hopefully your rulers have holes. If they do then go to Step 2, other wise you will have to slowly drill holes with your pocket knife. Drill them around 1/2 inch in from the end of the rulers.

Step 2 - Take 2 rubber bands and cut them so they are long strands.

Step 3 - Once they are cut stretch them out a bit to loosen them up. Once they are loose, lay one on top of the other(I will call this the "string"). Now cut off a 2 inch piece of Cat5 wire(just 1 single strand) in the picture below. Push one end of the "string" thru one of the holes in the end of the ruler.

Step 4 - Now with your "string" pushed thru the hole you need to twist it around itself once. Then, using the Cat5 strand, tightly wrap the twisted end of "string". Repeat this for the other end. You now have a working bow.

Optional - You can adjust the tension on the bow by pulling extra string thru the ruler holes. Just be sure you taped your bow REALLY well.

OPTIONAL - Play around with the number and variation of rubber bands. You can make a VERY powerful bow. Trust me!

Building the arrows(of "Death")

Step 1 - You will need 4 pens to make 1 arrow. Take 3 pens and pull the ink/ballpoint part out of them. You will have 3 hollow sections.

Step 2 - Cut about 1/4 inch off the end of the 4th pen(which still has the ink/ballpoint in it)

Step 3 - Once you have the 4 sections, place them end to end. As shown below. Once you have them in the order.

Step 4 - Make sure you have them securely pushed together. Now you need to straighten the "shaft" of the arrow.

Step 4 - Now that the "shaft" is straight, place strapping tape along the arrow. This will strengthen the arrow for "combat".

Step 5 - Time for the fletching. Get a 1 1/2 inch peice of strapping tape and double it over the back end of the arrow.

Step 6 - Trim the tape/fletching so that it looks like a real arrows feathers.

Step 7 - Now you have a functional arrow.

OPTIONAL - Get creative in the design of you arrow heads. You can use just the pen arrow head or go crazy:

Note: the round "blunt" tip is a penny. It HURTS! Plus you get cool round bruises.

The "Piece de Resistance"

Our office has these hobby razors to cut out signs and what not. I decided to use them as the "Ultimate" arrow.

Operation

Place the arrow on the string of the bow. Resting the arrow on the hand gripping the bow.

Pinching the arrow and the string pull back to create tension on the arrow. Release. Now get out and unleash "OFFICE PUNISHMENT" on thine enemies!!!

Impact Test

Subject: Very thick cardboard.

Results: Arrow "massively" penetrated both sides!