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Quotes from The Simpsons
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Well, I have compiled the list. *59* people responded with a total of *116*
quotes. But before I get to the list, I want to mention a couple of things.
First, there were some quotes that were voted for that I got different
wordings on. I listed the various wordings and where I had the episodes on
tape, I got the exact wording.
There were some quotes from the Tracy Ullman show that I went ahead and
included. Also, there were some quotes that I could not place with an episode
as well as some quotes that I could not place with a character. My guesses
are indicated by a "(?)".
I've listed all the quotes that got more than two votes with the most popular
listed first. I also broke it down into most quoted episode and most quoted
character. I gave the list of voters and following that, the entire list of
quotes.
Again, because not all the sites receive alt.tv.simpsons, I have posted the
results also to rec.arts.tv.
***** TOP QUOTES *****
The results for this category were tallied by counting the number of times
that a particular quote received a vote.
And the winner is ... (drum roll, please) ... with 14 (14 ... 14 ... echo)
votes quoted by Lisa in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_:
"If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd be on in prime time."
And, in second place, with 5 (5 ... 5 ... echo) votes quoted by Homer in
_Moaning_Lisa_:
"I have feelings, too. Like 'My stomach hurts' or 'I'm going crazy!'"
Tied for third with 4 (4 ... 4 ... echo) votes each:
"Stay away from that jazz man, Lisa. Nothing personal ... I just fear the
unfamiliar."
Marge in _Moaning_Lisa_
"Tell him I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love ...
and I won't be back for *TEN MINUTES*!"
Homer in _Jacques_to_be_Wild_
"Ah, the life of a frog; that's the life for me."
Bart in _Crepes_of_Wrath_
"A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center."
Homer in _Tell-Tale_Head_
"Yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I work in a convenience
store, you know."
Apu, the Kwik-E-Mart clerk, in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
"I'm glad you asked that, son. Being popular is the most important thing
in the world."
Homer in _Tell-Tale_Head_
And, honorably mentioned, with 3 votes each:
Maggie quotes collectively:
"*SLURP* *SLURP* *SLURP* *THUD*"
"*SLURP* *SLURP* *SLURP* *SLURP* *SLURP*"
"*SQUINK* *SQUINK*"
"When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom
of a bottle. THEY'RE ON T.V.!!"
Homer in _There's_No_Disgrace_Like_Home_
Principal Skinner: "You'll be getting an Albanian [student]."
Homer: "You mean all white with pink eyes?!"
_Crepes_of_Wrath_
"Now we are going to set this pile of evil abalze. But remeber, because
these are children's toys, the fire will spread quite rapidly. So, please
stand back and try not to inhale the toxic fumes."
the Minister, in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
"It's a classic Pinzer maneuver; it can't fail agains a bunch of
ten-year-olds!"
Herman, in _Bart_the_General_
***** MOST QUOTED EPISODE *****
The results for this category were tallied by adding how many times a
particular episode was given as the source of a quote.
_Krusty_Gets_Busted_ wins with 18 quotes
_Moaning_Lisa_ placed second with 13 quotes
_Call_of_the_Simpsons_ placed third with 11 quotes
***** MOST QUOTED CHARACTER *****
The results for this category were tallied by adding the number of times
that a particular character was attributed with a quote. In those quotes
that were given as a cut from a scene where more than one person was
talking, the author of the poll most humbly decided which character scored
the salient quote.
Homer and Bart tied for first place with 37 quotes each
(though half a dozen of the Bart quotes are his one-liners)
Krusty placed third with 6 quotes
Marge placed fourth with 5 quotes
Lisa, Jacques, Grandpa and Mr. Burns tied with 4 quotes each
***** THE FOLKS THAT CARED ENOUGH TO SEND THE VERY BEST *****
A very big thank you to everyone that sent in their favorite quotes. Without
you, this posting would not be possible ;-)
[email protected] (Laura)
[email protected].edu (Kevin J Podsiadlik)
[email protected] (Scott Marison)
[email protected] (Chris Klausmeier)
[email protected] (Chuck Carroll)
[email protected] (Jym Dyer)
[email protected] (Mark Holtz)
[email protected] (John W. Connelly)
[email protected] (Ralph Capasso)
[email protected] (Todd Davis) <10>
dylan@june.cs.washington.edu (Dylan McNamee)
[email protected] (John Lilly)
[email protected] (Ken Kubey)
[email protected] (Sam Sivakumar)
[email protected] (Jimmy Hu)
[email protected] (Bijal C. Modi)
[email protected].ubc.ca (Johan Thornton)
[email protected] (Ken Cox)
[email protected] (Ken Hampel)
[email protected] (Marciano Pitargue) <20>
[email protected] (Dennis Richards Montgomery)
[email protected] (Stephen Ong)
dhp1@gte.com (David Pascoe)
[email protected] (Jason F. Harvey)
[email protected] (Mark Mitchell)
[email protected] (Garry James Kirks)
[email protected] (Corydon T. Shimer)
dbw@hare.udev.cdc.COM (Dave Woerner)
[email protected] (A Product of Society)
[email protected].edu (Audrey M. Urling) <30>
[email protected] (Tony Laundrie)
[email protected] (Eric Idle's Fish Eric)
[email protected] (Dave Mattingly)
[email protected] (Raj Wall)
[email protected] (John Spies)
[email protected] (RTB: CSC young toughs)
jmaziarz@hawk (Jeff Maziarz)
[email protected] (H. Scott Matthews)
[email protected] (Joe Sterbenc)
REEWILE%[email protected] (Bill Reeves) <40>
[email protected] (Steve Steiner)
[email protected] (Joseph Bono (no relation to Sonny))
[email protected] (Cynthia Ann Proff)
eal@kaarne.tut.fi (Erkki Lehtim{ki)
[email protected]
[email protected] (Mike Delanzo)
prisoner@darkside.com (The Prisoner)
prine@image.lle.rochester.edu (Ron Prine)
[email protected] (Mark Nevar)
[email protected] (Jorian Nicholas Wolfe) <50>
[email protected] (David Elliot)
[email protected] (James Matthew Farrow)
[email protected] (Rick Casares)
[email protected] (Ken Burch)
[email protected] (Mike Palmer)
[email protected] (Wes Whitnah)
[email protected] (Sameer Parekh)
[email protected] (Chris Becker)
[email protected] (Debbie Aubrey)
***** AND, ON WITH THE QUOTES ... *****
I listed each quote and the folks that voted for each. I also included the
set-up line quotes that were voted for where it seemed to set the tone for
the quote.
__________________________________________________
"Such senseless violence! I don't understand it."
"We don't expect you to. If cartoons were meant for adults, they'd be on in
prime time." -- Marge and Lisa in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
[email protected].edu
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
DAMATT01%[email protected] (3x)
[email protected]
prisoner@darkside.com
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Beer! Now there's a temporary solution."
-- Homer in _Homer's_Odyssey_
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Bart: "I think this guy's a little crazy."
Grandpa: "General Patton was a little crazy. This guy's totally out of his
mind! We can't fail!"
-- Bart_the_General_
[email protected].edu
__________________________________________________
"Three. Family Jewels."
-- letter begin written by Grandpa Simpson
[email protected].edu
__________________________________________________
"But now it's time to say good-bye. Please get off my property until next
year. I suggest you don't dawdle - the hounds will be released in ten
minutes."
-- Mr. Burns in _There's_No_Disgrace_Like_Home_
[email protected].edu
__________________________________________________
"Was that you taking that cowardly dive into that display of heavily salted
snack treats?" -- lawyer from _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"I have feelings too - like "My stomach hurts" or "I'm going crazy!"
-- Homer to Lisa in _Moaning_Lisa_
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Don't have a cow, Homer!"
-- Bart
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Later grizzly dudes!"
-- Bart in _Call_of_the_Simpsons_
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"*SLURP* *SLURP* *SLURP* *THUD*"
"*SUCK* *SUCK* *SUCK* *SUCK* *SUCK*"
"*SQUINK* *SQUINK*"
-- Maggie
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Not the crappy little elves!"
-- Bart in the babysitter episode (_Some_Enchanted_Evening_?)
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Doough!!" -- Homer
"Oooh!!" -- Homer, when he realizes he's screwed up
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"If they think I'm going to stop at that stop sign, they're mistaken!"
-- Homer in _Homer's_Odyssey_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a
bottle. THEY'RE ON TV!"
-- Homer in _There's_No_Disgrace_Like_Home_
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"I want to be alone with my thought."
-- Homer in _There's_No_Disgrace_Like_Home_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Of course, <name of magazine plugged by Sideshow Bob> isn't just for
literates. Why, just look at these humorous caricatures of Gore Vidal."
-- Sideshow Bob in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"That's OK. I didn't do it!"
-- Krusty in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Krusty: "And what would you do if Krusty got cancelled?"
kids: "WE'D KILL OURSELVES!"
-- _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Hear that, Dad? You can lie around in your underwear and scratch yourself."
-- Bart in _There's_No_Disgrace_Like_Home_
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Stay away from that jazz man, Lisa. Nothing personal ... I just fear the
unfamiliar."
-- Marge in _Moaning_Lisa_
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Chocolate ... double chocolate ... *gasp!* New flavor! Triple chocolate!"
-- Homer
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Krusty has small feet. Like all good-hearted people."
-- Bart in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
co-workers: "What'll I tell the boss?"
Homer: "Tell him I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love ...
and I won't be back for *TEN MINUTES*!"
-- Homer in _Jacques_to_be_Wild_
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"That's a good question, son. Being popular is the most important thing in
the world."
"I'm glad you asked that son. Being popular is the most important thing in
the world."
-- Homer in _Tell_Tale_Head_
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Ah, the life of a frog; that's the life for me."
-- Bart in _Crepes_of_Wrath_
[email protected]
[email protected]
dhp1@gte.com
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Bart: "You gotta help me! These two guys work me night and day. They don't
feed me. They make me sleep on the floor. They put anti-freeze in the wine
and they gave my read hat to the donkey!"
French policeman: "Anti-freeze in the wine?! That is a very serious crime!"
-- English subtitles in _Crepes_of_Wrath_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"JUST a statue! Is the Statue of Liberty JUST a statue? Is the Leaning Tower
of 'pizza' JUST a statue?"
-- Homer to Bart in _Tell-Tale_Head_ (Homer pronounced it as
'pizza' not 'Pisa')
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center."
-- Homer in _Tell-Tale_Head_
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Can I have some applesauce?"
-- Homer in _Call_of_the_Simpsons_ while being kept for
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Gee, Dad. You must really love us to sink *THIS* low."
-- Bart to Homer in _Simpsons_Roasting_on_an_Open_Fire_
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Say it isn't so, Krusty."
-- Bart in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: the American
Revolution, World War II and the Star Wars Trilogy. If you'd like to learn
more about war, there's lots of books in your local library, many of them with
cool, gory pictures."
-- Bart in _Bart_the_General_
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Toreador, don't spit on the floor, use the cuspidor, that's what it's for."
-- Bart
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Oooooh Homer, my brilliant beast."
-- Marge in _Call_of_the_Simpsons_
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"In times of trouble, go with what you know."
-- Homer in _Call_of_the_Simpsons_ (?)
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Hasta Lambada, Dudes"
-- Bart
[email protected]
[email protected].edu
__________________________________________________
"Don't rock the boat, man."
-- Bart
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Principal Skinner: "You'll be getting an Albanian [student]."
Homer: "You mean all white with pink eyes?"
-- Homer in _Crepes_of_Wrath_
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Hey, this is not a lending library. Put the magazine back or I'll blow your
heads off."
-- Apu, the Kwik-E-Mart clerk, in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I work in a convenience store,
you know."
-- Apu, Kwik-E-Mart clerk, in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Don't blame me. I didn't do it."
-- Krusty in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"I've got a hankerin' for some pork products."
-- Krusty in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"The cannon! The cannon!"
-- kids on Krusty's show in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"The blues isn't about feelin' better ... it's about makin' other
people feel worse (and makin' a few bucks while you're at it)."
-- Bleedin' Gums Murphy, the Jazz Man in _Moaning_Lisa_
[email protected]
[email protected].edu
__________________________________________________
??: "It IS stealing!"
Bart: "I didn't want to think we were deluding ourselves."
-- Bart in the _Tell-Tale_Head_ (?)
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"You're smarter than you look, or sound, or our best testing indicates."
-- Mr. Burns (Homer's boss) in _Homer's_Odyssey_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Give me a break, man!"
"Oh, man!"
"Hey, dude!"
"Hey, Homer!"
-- Bart
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Marge: "You don't even know why you're sorry!"
Homer: "Yes I do. Because I'm hungry, my shirt is smelly, and I'm tired!"
-- _Homer's_Night_Out_
[email protected].ubc.ca
__________________________________________________
"Now we are going to set this pile of evil ablaze. But remember, because
these are children's toys, the fire will spread quite rapidly. So, please
stand back and try not to inhale the toxic fumes."
-- Minister in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Homer: "And remember not to act afraid. Animals can smell fear and they
don't like it. Besides there's nothing to be afraid of."
[sound of Maggie *SLURP* *SLURP* *SLURP*]
Homer: "A rattler!!"
Bart: "I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid"
Homer: "RUN you fool"
-- _Call_of_the_Simpsons
[email protected].ubc.ca
__________________________________________________
"I have 10 bowling pins in my heart. You have knocked over 8. Would you
please pick up zat spare?"
-- Jacques to Marge in _Jacques_to_be_Wild_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Ya' know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She
said, 'Homer, you're a big disappointment' and God bless her soul, she was
really onto something."
-- Homer in _There's_No_Disgrace_Like_Home_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"The boy. Bring me the boy."
-- Homer in _The_Crepes_of_Wrath_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"You can march them off a cliff, you can send them to certain death in some
god-forsaken land, but for some reason you can't slap them."
-- Grandpa in _Bart_the_General_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Lisa: "Mom, I'm scared."
Marge: "We all are, dear, but your father says everything is all right."
-- _Call_of_the_Simpsons_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Somehow I don't feel like killing anymore."
-- Krusty in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Oh, so that's it. This is some sort of underwear thing."
-- Homer about Lisa in _Moaning_Lisa_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Where's my spy camera! (etc)"
-- Bart to the MailWoman in _Homer's_Night_Out_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Cross you heart, hope to die,
Stick a needle in your eye,
Jam a dagger in your thigh,
Eat a horse manure pie!"
-- Bart
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"This place bites!"
-- Bart at the Rusty Barnacle restaurant in _Homer's_Night_Out_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Homer: "Sometimes I think we must be the worst family in Springfield."
Marge: "Well, maybe we should move to a larger community."
-- _There's_No_Disgrace_Like_Home_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Bart: "You're giving in to mob mentality, Dad."
Homer: "No, I'm not, son. I'm hopping on the band wagon. Get with the
winning team."
-- _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
dhp1@gte.com
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Apu (Kwik-E-Mart clerk): "Haven't I seen you on TV somewhere before?"
Homer: "Nah, you have me confused with Fred Flintstone."
-- _Homer's_Night_Out_
dhp1@gte.com
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Cowardly little runt. When I get a hold of you I'm going to gut you like a
fish and drink your blood."
"I'm gonna rip out your heart and drink your blood!"
-- Moe, the Bartender, in _Moaning_Lisa_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Please turn off the television."
-- Miss Botts, the babysitter, in _Some_Enchanted_Evening_(?)
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"I hope those horrible stories I heard about prison aren't true."
"I only hope those rumors I hear about what goes on in prison are greatly
exaggerated."
-- Homer
[email protected]
DAMATT01%[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Lisa: "Gross! Mom, Bart's taking a picture of his butt."
Bart: "Yah right, like I would take a picture of my butt."
-- _Homer's_Night_Out_
[email protected]
prine@image.lle.rochester.edu
__________________________________________________
"Some wise guy put a cork in this bottle."
-- Homer in _Crepes_of_Wrath_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Remember son ... the family jewels."
-- Homer in _Call_of_the_Simpsons_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Try not to beat me so hard this time, son."
"Bart go easy on me. I'm your Dad."
-- Homer about Video Boxing in _Moaning_Lisa_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Bart, you say butt kisser like it's a bad thing!"
-- Homer in _Bart_the_General_
dbw@hare.udev.cdc.COM
__________________________________________________
Bart: "Sir, did you lose your arm in the war?"
Herman (?): "Well, let's just say that the next time your teacher tells you
not to stick your arm out the bus window, you DO IT!"
-- _Bart_the_General_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Marge: "Bart, you love your sister, don't you?"
Bart: "Don't make me say it. I know the answer. You know the answer. He
knows the answer. Let's just drop it, okay?"
-- _Moaning_Lisa_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"I will not instigate revolution."
-- Bart's writing on the blackboard in _Moaning_Lisa_
nyx.UUCP!kreme%nyx.uucp@nike.cair.du.edu
__________________________________________________
"Send in the clowns."
-- ?? _Krusty_Gets_Busted
DAMATT01%[email protected] (3x)
__________________________________________________
"BART!" -- Homer in almost every episode
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Hmmmmm!" -- Marge, when she thinks Homer has screwed up
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
Mr. Burns: "What a pathetic attempt to curry my favor."
Smithers: "Fabulous observation, sir. Just fabulous."
-- _There's_No_Disgrace_Like_Home_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Thank you, God!"
-- Bob, the RV salesman, in _Call_of_the_Simpsons_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy."
-- Homer in _Moaning_Lisa_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Aye, aye, mamba-man."
-- Bart
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Oh, let's face it. I'm just not that bright."
-- Homer
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Throw ze ball, Marge. Throw, damn you!"
-- Jacques in _Jacques_to_be_Wild_
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"You told me when something is bothering you and you're too damn stupid to
know what to do, just keep your mouth shut. At least that way you won't make
things worse!"
-- Bart to Homer in _Jacques_to_be_Wild_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"First of all, I want you to know I like your face ... Yeah, I really do.
I'm not saying that ... I mean it. You've got color in there. You're not
Roman are you? ... Look like a god, sort of. Why don't we step into the
credit office, 'ZEUS'."
-- Bob, the RV salesman, in _Call_of_the_Simpsons_
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"You have a lovely friend there, Marge. Let's hope something runs over her."
-- Jacques in _Jacques_to_be_Wild_
jmaziarz@hawk
__________________________________________________
"Unlike most of you, I am not a nut."
-- Homer in _Homer's_Odyssey_
jmaziarz@hawk
__________________________________________________
"You deserve someone better. Someone whose credit card doesn't set off that
horrible beeping noise."
-- Homer in _Homer's_Odyssey_ (?)
jmaziarz@hawk
__________________________________________________
teacher: "Bart, give us an example of a modern-day paradox."
Bart: "Damned if you do, damned if you don't."
-- _Bart_the_Genius_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"I now take this opportunity to announce my retirement - undefeated - from the
world of video boxing."
-- Bart in _Moaning_Lisa_
[email protected].edu
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"I will not waste chalk."
-- Bart's writing on the blackboard in _Bart_the_Genius_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"It's a classic Pinzer maneuver; it can't fail against a bunch of
ten-year-olds!"
-- Herman in _Bart_the_General_
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Dear Advertisers: I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on
television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Some of us are
bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when
entertainment was bland and inoffensive. The following is a list of words I
never want to hear on television again ..."
-- Grandpa Simpson in _Bart_the_General_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"We *know* how it ends! They rescue (insert elf's name), jump around like
little green idiots, I puke, the end!"
-- Bart to Lisa in _Some_Enchanted_Evening_ (babysitter ep?)
[email protected]@cunyvm.cuny.edu
__________________________________________________
"I didn't do it. Nobody saw me do it. There's nobody that can prove
anything."
-- Bart in _Moaning_Lisa_
[email protected]
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"What the hell are you talking about, homeboy?"
-- Bart to Homer
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"*BOING!!*" -- the rabbit entering a geosynchronous orbit in
_Call_of_the_Simpsons_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"And if he runs away, he won't be hard to catch."
-- Bart about the greyhound, Santa's Little Helper, Homer
brought home in _Simpsons_Roasting_on_an_Open_Fire_
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Bart, meet the new champ."
-- Lisa in _Burp_Contest_ (Tracy Ullman Show)
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Good drink, good meat; Good God, let's eat!"
-- Homer in _Eating_Dinner_ (Tracy Ullman Show)
[email protected]
__________________________________________________
"Pagan rain dance - works every time."
-- Bart in _Pagans_ when it starts raining on Homer while
he is changing the tire on the car (Tracy Ullman Show)
[email protected]
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"I knew it - not enough hot sauce."
-- Lisa in _Bart's_Hiccups_ after pouring their secret elixir
of milk, ice cream, maple syrup, cream of broccoli soup
and hot sauce down Bart's throat
[email protected]
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"I'm Bart Simpson. Who the hell are you?"
-- Bart in _Krusty_the_Clown_ (Tracy Ullman Show)
[email protected]
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"It's almost like having a fifth sense or something!"
-- Homer in _Call_of_the_Simpsons_
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Mr. Burns: "How does he do it?"
Smithers: "He's a love machine, sir."
-- _Homer's_Night_Out_
[email protected]
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"This is Patti [Marge's sister] holding a Mexican Delicacy called, a
'Taco Platter'."
-- Marge's sisters showing slides
prisoner@darkside.com
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"Make it make it make it make it. It's good!! IT'S GOOD!!"
-- Homer in _Tell-Tale_Head_
[email protected]
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"Give a hoot. Read a book."
-- Krusty in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
[email protected]
[email protected]
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"The key to Springfield is Elm Street. The Greeks knew it. The Carthaginians
knew it, and now you know it ..."
-- Herman (?) in _Bart_the_General_
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"You may emerge from the chips now sir -- you're chance to be a hero has long
since passed."
-- Apu, the Kwikee Mart clerk, in _Krusty_Gets_Busted_
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"I didn't kill Grandpa! Society killed Grandpa!!"
-- Bart
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Aunt Patty: "Nothing dear, I'm just trashing your father."
Lisa: "Well, I wish you wouldn't because, aside from the fact that he has the
same frailities as all human beings, he's the only father I have therefore he
is my model of manhood and my estimation of him will govern my prospects of my
adult relationships. So, I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him is a
knock at me and I am far too young to defend myself against such onsluaghts."
Aunt Patty: "Uh, huh. Go watch your cartoon show, dear."
-- _Simpsons_Roasting_on_an_Open_Fire_
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"Many people have senseless attachments to heavy, clumsy things such as this
'Homer' of yours."
-- Jacques in _Jacques_to_be_Wild_
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"You know, Marge, getting old is a terrible thing. I think the saddest day of
my life was when I realized I could beat my dad at most things. Bart
experienced that at the age of 4."
-- Homer in _Moaning_Lisa_
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"Miss Simpson, I hope we won't have a repeate of yesterday's outburst of
unbridled creativity."
-- Principal Skinner in _Moaning_Lisa_
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"This is the way I've always thought it should be. We've always blamed
ourselves, but I guess we know what cylinder wasn't firing!"
-- Homer in _Crepes_of_Wrath_
[email protected]
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Enjoy! | A nice man is a man of nasty ideas. Jonathan Swift
Debbie | Kick the person in front of you.
| Blame it on the person behind you.
| from "Throw a Tomato"
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