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UXU Issue #016
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Underground eXperts United
Presents...
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[ Preventing a Murder ] [ By THE CHIEF ]
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PREVENTING A MURDER
Why I write this shit you ask me? Because I wanna kill
someone badly. This shit is worthwile for me, because
it prevents me taking the rap for a murder I would
have comitted instead of writing this text.
WHY YOU ASK?
Ok, it all started last night.
My girlfriend and I were talking on the phone, and she
was babbeling away like always, and I decided to ask
her if she really still needed me, and what do you
think she answered? ... "well I don't know"...
FUCK YOU BITCH!
She spent about 2 hours trying to tell me that she had
found "new sides" of her that she had to accept, and
that all she needed right now was to be alone, AND
with friends. (I haven't the slightest clue on how to
do That).
Let me just begin with telling you that I'm not stupid,
and the last shit I'd believe is all that "find
yourself"-crap shit of explanations. Allright, so I
told her to take her "new sides" and shove them up her
ass. Hung up and wrote her of my list.
Second, some punks had had some fun during the night,
I noticed when I walked out to my car this morning.
The car didn't look like a car no more. Allright, I
could cope with that, so I called the insurance
company to get my insurance money, and they told me to
call the cops first, and then they'll look into the
matter. Ok, I called the cops, they came over (now I
was about 20 minutes late for work) and gave me a box
of papers to fill out. I did that, and gave them the
papers, they signed them, and I got the copies back,
which I posted to the insurance company.
Came to work about an hour too late, and got a lesson
in how to not be late for work by my boss, who didn't
want to hear any explanations. "To be late is a sin".
That's his call in life. So you think it sounds bad
now?
I had to sit and answer the phone all day. Degraded to
a simple answering-machine, because I was late. If you
think that's a nice job, you don't know what you're
talking about! It's hell on earth! The company I work
for sends out about 34.000 bills every 3 months, and
about 1/3 of them complain about too high bills, too
low bills, too normal bills, how to pay, how to read
the bill, how to get lower bills, how to ....whatever!
Yes, that's right. This was the week after they had
sent those bills.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY $2.000??
Everyone who calls, think they've reached a place
generally called the "complaints" department (when it
actually is the switchboard) and starts screaming, and
shouting, with general abuse included. A normal number
of callers lies around 2-300/day, a normal number of
callers a bill-day lies around 1-2000! Say that 20% of
them wants to kick the first one who answer's ass,
hard. You begin to understand why I write this text?
It wasn't just because I was late I had to spend the
day answering the phone, no sir! The person (?) that
works there, just had to write some papers, drafts,
letters and misc stuff the very same day. Ok, I could
understand that. But when all she does is to sit and
talk (spreading rumors, talking behind backs and so on
(you know the type)) all day, I just need to kick some
ass.
Fine, you say. That's not so bad, is it?
You really think that's all? Hahahahaha.
The insurance company calls, only to tell me that they
won't give me any money. They had been speaking to the
cops, who had said that the estimated damages would
not reach the level where they grant any insurance
money to be paid to the owner. WHAT?! HAVE YOU SEEN MY
CAR OR WHAT!?! My car was demolished, totally stripped
of everything. The only thing that was left untouched
was a tape with N.W.A's "Straight outta Compton".
I told them I'd send some pictures, but they said that
I easily could have made the "extra" damage myself,
only to get the insurance money!! I told them to get
lost, or find a real life.
Next up, I see the woman I've been "involved" with at
work with another man, and they're not working, if you
understand what I mean. I face her with the facts, and
she tries to explain. I haven't heard such a lame
explanation in years, so I tell her to find a better
excuse or call her husband and kids.
Allright. Now the working day is over and I want to
kill someone pretty badly. But, the day isn't over yet.
When I come home, I find my harddrive spinning, and
my board down. I try to restart it, but it won't start.
I try everything I could think of, but it doesn't find
the harddrive. It has crashed.
I try to save some files when restoring the data I
could scrape off from the drive, but I can only save
about 100-150 files. Considering that I had:
4500 Textfiles
200 Programs
..in the file-areas
1 BBS Program
20 Online Games
3 Games
2 Front-End Programs
2 Graphic Editors
1 Programming Package
25 C++ programs I was working on
6 Textfiles I was working on
..running
I guess you can easily understand my feelings.
CONCLUSION
If you have had a bad day, you don't know what you're
talking about. Try to beat mine, and you can submit
the story to the uXu series. I need to hear that some-
one can have a worse day than me. By writing this
text, I have restrained myself from killing someone,
which I would have.
It's just unbelievable that all of this could happen
during just ONE day! I have had bad days before, sure
but nothing like this. I'm surprised that I haven't
been arrested yet, or that the Socialists haven't
taken control over this country once again. I really
expected that to happen today as well.
Eh, what the hell.. I think I go kill someone anyway..
See this knife, asshole!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiii........
HeEHeEHheEHEEE!
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(!) 1991 THE CHIEF & uXu Productions
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