|   | uXu Issue #101NOTICE: TO ALL CONCERNED Certain text files and messages contained on this site deal with activities and devices which would be in violation of various Federal, State, and local laws if actually carried out or constructed. The webmasters of this site do not advocate the breaking of any law. Our text files and message bases are for informational purposes only. We recommend that you contact your local law enforcement officials before undertaking any project based upon any information obtained from this or any other web site. We do not guarantee that any of the information contained on this system is correct, workable, or factual. We are not responsible for, nor do we assume any liability for, damages resulting from the use of any information on this site.
 
 ###     ###
 ###   ###
 ###   ####  ### ###  ###   ####
 ###    ###   #####   ###    ###
 ###    ###    ###    ###    ###
 ###    ###   #####   ###    ###
 ##########  ### ###  ##########
 ###   ###
 ###     ###
 
 Underground eXperts United
 
 Presents...
 
 ####### ## ##      #######     # #    ####   ####### ####
 ##      ## ##      ##         #####     ##   ##   ##   ##
 ####    ## ##      ####        # #      ##   ##   ##   ##
 ##      ## ##      ##         #####     ##   ##   ##   ##
 ##      ## ####### #######     # #    ###### ####### ######
 
 [          Sex!          ]            [    By The GNN     ]
 
 ____________________________________________________________________
 ____________________________________________________________________
 
 SEX!
 by THE GNN/DualCrew/uXu
 
 The name of this file has been constructed by
 Cheap Attention Grabbers INC (Thanks guys!) to
 get billions of people to download it.
 
 The original name is however:
 
 HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY WRITE A "EROTIC" NOVEL
 by THE GNN/DualCrew/uXu
 
 Many  people  wants  to write text files and earn fame and fortune today.
 This  is  not easy if you both want someone to actually READ what you write
 and  like it at the same time.  You must own a great deal of talent for the
 written  language,  you  must  understand  what  separates a good file from
 rubbish.   A  good file could be anything from a high-explosive that no one
 ever  has  written  about before, to deep poems or fiction that thrills the
 reader.   Bad files are those that no one reads because they do not include
 any new ideas.
 But!,  if  you  have  not  got  any  new ideas, fresh information or wild
 imagination,  there  is still hope for you.  Yes!  Yes!  Do as thousands of
 other people with only half a brain does every day!
 
 Write a erotic novel.
 
 Yes!   This  is  a  part of the text file scene that does not require any
 talent at all, nor some new ideas!  You only have to let your fingers dance
 over the keyboard long enough and viola!  You have a file.  Do it again and
 you have another file.  Do it three times and you are famous!
 To help you get started here is the complete guide!
 
 1.  THE NAME
 
 At  first  you  need a name of the file.  No problems.  Name it after the
 girl  in  the  novel,  or  after  the  situation  that  will  lead  to  the
 love-making.
 Examples:  "Jenny", "Rita", "The new girl at the gas station".
 
 2.  THE BEGINNING
 
 This  depends  on  how  long you want the file to be.  If you plan a long
 file, write megs of crap about the girl herself that no one reads anyway.
 Example:  "Oh, Mausolea was a real hot gal that never could get enough of
 dick  in  her  little  pussy  that always wanted more and more.  Her mother
 however was deep religious and had not touched a man in forty years...  "
 
 3.  THE MEETING
 
 Boy  meet  girl.   Girl  meet  boy.  Alternative:  Girl meet ten boys and
 participate in a brutal gang-bang.  Just let the girl and the boy meet each
 other  in  a common way (no one wants extreme and unbelievable fantasies in
 the  beginning,  they  must  come  later)  like  on the gas station or at a
 wedding  or  at  a  public  lavatory.  If you are a bit experienced you can
 "tease"  the  reader.  This is done by letting the boy see the girl several
 times and describe her marvelous body before he drills her.
 Example:   "For the third day I saw her again standing by the phone-booth
 with  those  big breasts and marvelous legs that screamed for me.  Suddenly
 she  began  to  talk to me.  She said:  - Let's go to my apartment and have
 a drink."
 
 4. THE ACT
 
 You  have  now  reached the only part of your file that is actually read.
 This  is  why  you  must  be extra detailed in your descriptions of what is
 happening.   Take  your  time, use plenty of space to tell the reader about
 what  kind  of  exotic  knickers  the girl is using, and what store she has
 bought them in, if they were on sale or expensive etc.
 Do  not  write  like  this:   "Then  I pressed my cock into her pussy and
 immediately came.  It was great!"
 This is better:  "- I love you, I said.  - Me too, she said.  - I know, I
 said.   Then  I carefully let my big red pounding rocket of love slide into
 her  wet  hot  deep  cave  of pleasure.  We moved our beautiful bodies in a
 steady  rhythm,  until  the  orgasm  struck  us.  It felt like I had put my
 fingers in a high voltage socket."
 NOTE.   Of  course, you cannot go for the finale at once.  First you must
 go through the standard actions.  They are (in the right order):
 
 1- They kiss (not necessary, but it gives a more romantic mood)
 2- Boy suck girl's nipples.
 3- Girl suck dick.
 4- Boy lick pussy.
 5- THE EXTRA FEATURE.  This must be the special happening of the act and
 therefore be a bit different.  Examples:  69-position, boy shave
 girl, girl shave boy (unusual, but works), girl kick boy's nuts (S/M
 only), boy whip girl etc etc
 Penetration.  Any position will do.
 6- The HAPPY end - both have a satisfying orgasm and promise each other
 eternal love.
 
 5.  THE END
 
 Now  you  have reached the end.  You can end your story in many ways, but
 of  course  not in any unexpected way.  It would be rather shocking for the
 reader  if  he,  with  the  dick in his hand in the middle of his jerk-off,
 suddenly reads that the boy smashed the girl's brains to pieces with a iron
 stick.  No, the end must be romantic.
 Example:   "I  never  saw Mhariah again after our night together, but she
 will  forever  live in my memory.".  Even if Mhariah is working at the same
 job  as  the  hero, he will never ever see her again.  A sex-novel does not
 have to include common sense.
 And  DO NOT end the story with something really off-putting like "I think
 of  her all the time...  when I masturbate." It may be true (it would be in
 real  life  anyway),  but  remember  that you have written the file for the
 reader and not the kinky little hero in your novel.
 
 ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
 Lake side drive on a summer day. Lake side drive - nothing to say.
 SEDES DIABOLI +46-586-UNFORGETTABLE.
 \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
 
 We're rich. It's Perrier water.
 
 |   |