Drugs are bad

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kroz
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Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2017 3:51 pm

alert Drugs are bad

Post by kroz » Sat Mar 31, 2018 6:18 pm

Me 6 months ago: I was severely dependent on heroin, cocaine and alcohol just to get through my day. I often found myself smoking meth and taking random pills I find in peoples bathrooms hoping I could feel "normal". 1 Day I was getting a ride to go buy some dope with money I just stole and as we drove down the highway I proceeded to get into an argument with my driver. I jumped out of the car on the on ramp and decided to walk the last 6 miles to my dope boys house. It was 12am and pitch black outside and I had to go over a bridge but I saw police lights in the distance so I assumed they were after me. I panicked and ran up along a bike path that goes above the river but having no shelter in sight and only a small wall to my left I decided to hide on the other side of that wall. I jumped over it without looking what was on the other side.
What was on the other side of that wall was a 22 foot drop to hard ground below.
I lay there in agony having just landed flat on my side. I could not move my right leg or arm. My head hurt but at the same time I felt really warm. I was convinced I was okay and I just needed to catch my breath, After an hour of trying to get on all fours to stand up and having no success I lay there wondering how this happened.
My addiction has just tried to kill me. It was always trying to kill me. It tricked me into not looking before I leap and all in the name of a 5 or 10 minute high and the chance to spend the night in an abandoned house on the west side of dayton.
I have no phone. No way to call for help. All I have is a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
The river is about 30 feet away and there is a bridge to my left and a bridge to my right both several hundred feet away.
Even if I reached the bridge I would have to drag myself up a long flight of stair to reach the top where I could lay on the sidewalk until a car drove past.
Still wanting to get high I was even considering just crawling the 6 miles to get high and then going to the hospital.
I checked myself for internal bleeding but found nothing was immediatly endangering my life except for the fact I was laying in dirt in the middle of the night, far away from anyone and the temperature was dropping.
There is a paved path along the river about 15 feet from me. I decided to try and crawl there in the hopes someone would see me.
It took over an hour and nearly an entire pack of cigarettes for me to crawl to the paved path.
It was getting cold now.
My pants had bounced off my hips when I landed and were around my knees.
I am a homeless junkie laying in dirty unable to use my right arm or leg. I am in a lot of pain. Its the middle of the night. Its cold outside and I am getting a little scared now.
If I have to lay here all night and wait until the sun comes up in the hopes someone will walk or bike pass and help me I will be way too dope sick to even want to live.
The paved bike path was even colder than the dirt and now the wind was hitting me.
I decided to try and signal SOS in morse code with my bic lighter hoping someone might be looking out a window of a far away building and see me. I did this for a good while before choosing to hold onto the rest of my lighter fluid for my remaining cigarettes.
I HEAR PEOPLE!
Off in the distance I can hear 2 voices. Both african american. I listen and can tell they are up walking across one of the bridges. I want to yell for help but just before I do I actually hear what they are saying.
They are screaming. In a lovers quarrel over crack cocaine. They are crack head niggers.
My hope is crushed as I decided its not safe to scream out to them in fear they will just come and rummage through my pockets and possibly kill me.
I lay there smoking my last 6 cigarettes. I am alone and I am in terrible pain. I take my syringe out of my pocket and look at it. I think "not tonight buddy" and I throw it off into the darkness. I did this because I figured if and when someone finds me I will not want a syringe on me. I already have 4 active warrants for my arrest.
As I lay there looking up into the sky I think about my family and what I have done to them. What I have been doing with my life. Oh how I wish I would just die fast so I didnt have to lay there in agony waiting to freeze to death or for some internal bleeding to finally build up enough pressure to effect my heart or lungs to the point they fail.
I let my head roll to one side and as it does I see a Silhouette of a person on the very path I lay on.
They are far away. Several hundred feet.
I yell out "HELP!' "Hey you, Please help me"
I see the person turn and they yell back to me.
I explain that I need help and what happened.
This man is scared to approach me fearing its a trick and I will rob or kill him.
He only gets to about 50 feet from me.
I beg him to call 911.
He tells me he just got to town and it was his first day at his new job working night shift but he got off work early and went for a walk. He tells me he does not know where we are and therefore does not know how to direct the rescue squad to me.
I tell him what to say and he does.
After about 10 minutes a spotlight hits me from one of the bridges.
A cop yells down to me "What in the fuck are you doing?"
I just smile and say "I am hurt and need an ambulance"

This whole time I was thinking how the reason I was running and jumped in the first place was that I thought the cops were chasing me. They never were and I laid here for hours because I was acting like a fool.

The abulance shows up and they look at me. I am told to put out my cigarette. The one EMT looks at the cop and tells him "this man is really fucked up"

I wonder how I look now. My hair must be messed up.

It was a long bumpy ride to the hospital and the whole time I am in so much pain. They would not give me any pain medicine. I had been to all 3 hospitals in my city recently fighting mental illnesses and often i would come in high as hell. They ask me if I was trying to kill myself.

Of course not. I just was out for a jog and I fell off a wall.

They dont believe me and give me fentynal for pain. It does nothing because I am a hardcore drug addict and my tolerance is super high. I beg for something else but they refuse.

Hours go by as I am put through test after test. In a shit ton of pain and mad now I begin to tell them what to do and how to do it. They are annoyed and no longer are gentle.

They twist my bad leg hard to one side to ultra sound it in search of a vein to hit in my thigh. I am about to pass out from pain. I just sort of try to be tough and not fight it but I seem to swear and scream anytime I am moved or touched.

Finally at like 8 in the morning I am put in a room in icu. I can finally relax and watch tv. I dont even want to call my family but they insist and of course no one answers because the assume i did something stupid and am in a pysch ward again.

The doctor tells me I have broken my right hip. I have broken my scapula (shoulder blade). I have a bruised spleen. I may have a slight head injury (I reach and feel my head to feel a big ass bump).

I look at the doctor and ask when breakfast is and if i can get some pills. He tells me '"soon".

Suddenly 2 people walk into my room and claim to be physical therapists and are here to help me stand up.
I am in shock. Is this a joke.
Before I can react this man hooks his arms up under mine and lifts me out of my bed and I am now vertical.
I am screaming in agony. My heart rate thingy starts to beep really fast.
A nurse runs in and tells them that I am not the patient they are to see.
The man then says "sorry about that" and they quickly and extremely painfully get me back in my bed.

Nurse comes over and says that everything is fine.
For the next 12 hours they give me a fuck ton of valium in the hopes I would forget the incident. I am given Oxy's too and they help.

I lay in bed for 4 days holding my poop before I am left alone in my room with a wheel chair and am able to make my way to the bathroom and crap the fuck out of my butt.

I spend several days in the hospital until they send me to a nursing home. There I spend 2 months learning to walk again and use my damaged arm.

After that I spend 99 days in an inpatient drug rehab where I tried to disconnect from reality. My thoughts made no sense.

I get out Feb 17th this year. I am doing good. No drugs. I might have had a few drinks but not in excess. Now I am just trying to get some sort of life together and be a human being again.

I struggle daily with untreated mental disorders. I used to see a doctor nd they would give me pills but they didnt help and i quit going. I didnt give them a chance. Now I am alone in my head and my mind is always playing trick on me. It wants to die. My mind wants to die every day and my body wants to live. Its a fight and I do not know what to do. I have a psych evaluation coming up next week and hopefully they can send me to a doctor and I can get some help.
My body hurts till. I have hep c and have had it for almost 10 years. My shoulder is separated and hurts very often. My back is what will shut me down though. My lower back I had pain in before but only rarely would it knock me down. Now I have pain in my upper back quite a lot and its a decent pain. Its distracting and makes me just want to lay flat in bed and not move. My hip pops now and if I have to push something I can feel it. In the mornings it hurts the most (I think from being still so long). I am waiting for either my hip or soulder to dislocate. I dont think its suppose to still hurt this much. Hell, my right arm is now about an inch longer than my left. My shoulder bothers me because I want to go work and I dont want to go to a factory and find I cant lift something heavy or I try to and my arm gives out. I have weakness in my right arm and now my left arm is the strong one.

Now I am here and that is my story (well, the last 6 months atleast)

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I been to 3 different psych wards in the last year and a nursing home. All my paperwork looks the same. I can only find this though.

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kingoffrogs
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Posts: 6
Joined: Fri May 22, 2020 10:21 am

Re: Drugs are bad

Post by kingoffrogs » Fri May 22, 2020 10:28 am

holy fucking shit u r a god for making it thru this

Das Troll
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Posts: 564
Joined: Mon Apr 15, 2019 2:10 am

Re: Drugs are bad

Post by Das Troll » Fri May 22, 2020 1:31 pm

You got a nice looking ass if it makes you feel any better.

AngryIVer
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Re: Drugs are bad

Post by AngryIVer » Fri May 22, 2020 4:03 pm

It's Fonaplats talking to himself with alts because he's embarrassed that he publicly got called out for being a faggot.
Tell your friends about New Totse. Can't get murdered by police on the internet

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