Anarchy in the Snow

Anarchy in the Snow

by The Ninja

Winter Time! Sleigh bells, Santa Claus, Egg Nog, and blood. What a combination. Sounds fun right? I know it does. What else is there better to do in Winter time than to throw an iceball full of "Fun Snaps" at the Salvation Army Santa on your corner? In this file I will share with you some of the more enjoyable, if not sadistic things to do in the snow.

Everyone knows how much fun it is to throw a snowball at a car when it drives by. Well next time try it with a big rock packed hard in the center of the snowball. Boy will the driver get a surprise when the snowball goes right through his window!

This one takes a little time to do. The invention is called a "Funnelator" and was inveted by my brother and a few drunken friends one summer. It was originally designed for long distance water baloon shooting, but since then i have found that it works for iceballs just as well.

Here's what you need:

a good sized funnel

about 15 feet of surgical tubing

1 foot of 2 cm diameter rope

a washer

Construction Directions

Take the funnel and poke 4 holes in it with a screwdriver. The holes should be about 2 inches apart. 2 on each side of funnel.

Cut the surgical tubing into 2 large equal sized pieces. Place one end of each end into the holes. It should look like a sort of slingshot by now.

Tie the ends of the surgical tubing together <on each side> in GOOD TIGHT knots.

Take the rope and place the ends the ends through the washer and tie a knot. Pull the other end through the narrow end of the funnel. This is your HANDLE for pulling the funnelator back.

How To Use a Funnelator

To use a funnelator to its fullest you should get about 5 people. Only 3 are needed at a time but you can get tired after awhile.

Set up the funnelator like a slingshot. Two people are the "posts" and the third pulls back the funnel using one hand over the funnel and the other pulling the rope.

For best results, pull back AS FAR AS POSSIBLE <or until your friends arms break>. Make sure your friends are not standing that close together <or you will have one or two less friends>.

Aiming is the fun part. I'm sure you all can figure that out.

Official Funnelator Records

3 broken ribs on a kid on the beach with a water balloon.

1 LARGE dent in a car from water balloon.

Many cc's of blood lost from various faces from iceballs.

NUMEROUS windows broken from both ice and water balloons.

Happy Funnelating!!

Other fun things to do in the snow are:

Pouring hot water on the snow in the street so it turns to ice faster and all the cars go flying around the corner.

Make BIG piles of snow near the curb and stuff an old sweatshirt sleeve with newspaper to make it look like there is an arm in it. Put a glove on the end of the arm securely. Now take a bottle of ketchup and empty it contents on the snow pile. Place the arm on top of the ketchup and cover the arm and the kethup with snow, but keep them relaively near to the surface. Make the snow pile look loike a kind of snow fort. Wait for the snowplow to come by and start playing in the fort. When it gets close enough get out of the way but start screaming. When the driver looks down and sees this bloody arm come out of the snow he'll probably have a coronary.

One last thing that is VERY FUNNY to see is this:

This is to be done to someone you have an EXTREME dislike for. Wait until they put on their snow tires. Then the first night it snows go to thier car with a bag of wet sand and lots of Krazy Glue. Pack the snow into the grooves of the tire and then Krazy Glue a layer over the grooves.

Just wait till they pull out in the morning on an ICY road. Very Funny!

I hope that you all have fun trying these ideas and let me know what you think of them.