Free Housing for Dummies

Free Housing for Dummies

by Quasar Bob

ABANDONED HOUSES

Besides free shelter, abandoned houses have many uses; here's a few I came up with:

1. If your ordering suspicious contraband, you can always use the abandoned house as a drop spot for your items.
2. Hypothetically speaking, abandoned housing facilities are great for producing narcotics without arousing suspicion.
3. They make for a damn fine club house.

So let's get down to business.

SUPPLIES

1. Preferably a crowbar, but you can use a hammer.
2. Black clothing.
3. Preferable night-vision goggles, you can use a flashlight.
4. Gloves.
5. Pillow?

GAINING ENTRY TO THE ABANDONED HOUSE IN QUESTION

If wooden planks are nailed over the doors, you'll need a crowbar, but you can use a hammer. You can either pry off the wooden planks with the crowbar, or unscrew each nail with the back-end of the hammer. Since both methods can sometimes be long and grueling, always be sure to perform them at NIGHT where you have less chance to be spotted. And wear your BLACK-CLOTHING and GLOVES. If a window to the house is exposed, you can put the pillow over it and hit it with the hammer.

REFURBISHING FOR SQUATTERS

Wooden spools and beer kegs make great tables. Old matresses won't be hard to find. Everything you'll need for furniture can be found at garage sales, or your local land-fill.

LAST WORDS

Know that the house won't be abandoned forever. Don't keep a lot of personal belongings there. Always have a quick escape route in mind if you ever get caught. Don't get to attached.

FUCK THE CORPORATE WORLD!!!!