Fun at the Suburban Shoreline

Fun at the Suburban Shoreline

by Towelie 4:20

Hate those rich assholes with a big boat anchored out in front of nice, private beach patios? Heres some things to do.

1. Steal their prams. A pram is a small boat that they use to get out to their big boats. Just wait till 3 A.M., then go there and haul the thing away. Tel your parents that you found it sunken on the public part of the beach. Don't use it around there houses, dumbasses.
2. Cut their boats free. See that big, exspensive boat out their. Well, swim out (or take your stolen rowboat, I hope your smart enough to use your judgement on this one) and cut the lines so that their boats float away. Try and time it so that the tides will allow it to float away as far as possible.
3. Destroy their boats. If you slash anything inflatable you can find. Or make one of the bomb recipes on here and blow them up. Doush them in gas and light it on fire. Maybe if the mark has kids or a wife that he takes out alot, plant some pornography on it. Hopefull a kid or his wife will find it, or maybe the kid can find it and show the guys wife. That would be the best.
4. Fuck up the patio. Remove bolts, saw almost the whole way through the support beams (so if they put enough weight on it, it will collapse, or if a storm comes). Steal their chairs, tables, or just throw them in the water. Better yet, if the seawall is below a grassy hill (like where I live) you can just light the grass and run.
5. This is for the true assholes. Plant some booby traps, like put a bar on the stairs, so that they trip (I must warn you though that people can die from tripping down stairs, especially at the place where I live, where the stairs are steep and concrete, and they also lead right to the seawall, where the victim will suffer another big drops, right onto some rocks. If that doesn't kill them then they might just be knocked out and fall in the water and drown. It happened to my Dad's cousin). Remove all the support beams from the under side of the patio, and then cut through the planks (so that they still hold up, that is until someone steps on them).
6. Classics. Put tacks on the seats, nails in the boards, lots of things. Be original.