Mall Trashing Part II

Mall Trashing Part II

by Midnight Maniac

The Trashing series continues. Yes you, the would-be Anarchist and full time Non-comformist Terrorist, have followed us through our many escapades... Trashing Neighborhoods, Trashing Malls, Trashing Supermarkets, Trashing Hotels...

Basically, only minor confusion and some minor havoc were caused in Mall Trashing Part I. Not so here....We take on bigger stakes than the RS Computer Center....Bigger stakes than the elevator door. Yes, this time, we go after big game. JC Penny.

Every mall has one. What would a mall be without a JC Pennys. No more than a suburban bazaar. JC Pennys brings life to what would otherwise be a boring and dull place. Thats why we are going to trash the shit out of it.

Materials For A JC Penny Assault:

Red Paint

Paper

Pens

Tape

Good ole fashion Fart Spray

Knife

Wrench

Porno Video Tape

Some magnets

Some real gross gooey stuff (snot?)

One of the first things you can trash once you reach a JC Pennys is the ugly manequins that decorate the place. To offend customers, walk by and pull the clothes off them. Some are merely Unisex bodies...some others wcould be very offensive to SOME people. If its just a unisex body, paint your own organs on it. With the paper and pens and tape, make signs that say:

"Yes, You can have this Manequin for mere pennies a day. Fuck him, feed him, make hima third person in your most intricate sexual fantasy."

Tape them to the manequins. Steal some socks from the mens department and shove them down the male manequins pants. Not just one pair. FOUR pairs....This guy has to buldge big time. Real anarchist would not bother with this petty stuff, they would simply grab the thing, and throw it down the escalator, or break it apart there. If you really have guts, you can go to the womens dept. and grab a female manequin. Then (This is NOT for whimps) throw the thing on the ground, jump on it, and begin making rythmatic motions with your hips while moaning

"Oh, yes, yes Yes YEs YES!....Oh, YEEEEEESSSSSSSS!"

Unscrew the male heads and out them on the female bodies. Put the female heads on the male bodies. Mix and match the parts. Your next step is the elctronics Dept. Here, you will do great deeds that will be recorded in the Tome of Great Anarchial Acts.....First, go though the VCRs, and using a magnet (A high power one), erase all the tapes they are playing. Then, put in your own porno tape, or an anarchial tape of your own devising. Bring multiple copys and play them on ALL the VCRs...Beta and VHS. using the Magnet again, erase all the Atari software that might be lying around thier meager computer center.

Optionaly. you can run a cable from a selected TV, to a remote location... possibly a long ways away, and broadcast using a stolen Video camera an Anarchial Tv Station....This opens great avenues for creative anarchism, and just makes you feel good inside to know TVs being put to GOOD use for a change Now, the Sports dept. Where all the Jocks Hangout. Slice all the strings in tennis rackets. Then, go around, and open all the tennis ball cans. This makes sure that no one will buy them. AT the bikes, use your handy dandy wrench to remove the front tires. Roll them down the escalator or through the aisles. Slit the back tires. Slit all the spare tires too. Take practice swings with golf clubs, clubbing them into the floor hard enough to bend them.

Move on to.... The towel dept. Theres always a bunch of stacks of towels at JC Pennys. Your juob is to gross out the people that are buying them, and ruin the towels in the process. To do this, walk up to the towel section with a handful of the gross gooey stuff. Pick up a towel, out it to your face, and say:

"Aaaaahhhhhh-Cccccchhhhoooooooo" as loud as humanly possible. Then move the towel away and let the gooey stuff drip out of the towel, and your nose. DO it again with the next towel until the section has been cleared of patrons.

So much for JC Pennys. Next, you can make a lot of noise by walking through the parking lot and banging and bouncing every car. Eventually, there should be a lot of alarms going off. Its extra good if there are people watching you create so much havoc. Further the cause of anarchism... Trash a Mall today.