Pissing Off People in Cars

Pissing Off People in Cars

by Dr. Nitemare

In this file I will discuss the various techniques used by myself and companions to bring the susceptible driver to the point of actually leaving his car and chasing us.

When you were little, you may have done a neat trick called the Alaskan Rope Trick. If you haven't heard of it the procedure is simple, requiring only four or more people. On a roadside without streetlights at night, divide the people up evenly into two groups- one goes to the other side of the street across from the first group and both groups get in single file line. A long branch is necessary to get the full potential out of this trick, because the branch serves as a lead to a false rope that is supposedly extended across the road. When a car comes in sight, both groups bend down as to be picking the "rope" up. On a count of three, both groups pull on their branch, and the car will sometimes get freaked out and hit the brakes. Courage is necessary here, for the now angered party will jump out of the car and shout obscenities. You have two choices: One, you can run like a bat out of hell. Two, you can stick it out and hear it all. My preference is choice #1 because if anyone is going to get out of the car they are usually a group of huge badasses that are looking for a few to kick. So why do it if it's dangerous? Well, the thrill of being chased has fascinated many, especially those who are in the mood for trouble. Try it sometime!

For those who have done this already and know what the Alaskan is, I suggest a different trick. This trick has no special name, and it is similar to the Alaskan, except you really have a rope across. The catch is, the rope is attached to two garbage cans at either side of the rope, and are very much mobile. When a car comes by, especially one who has seen the Alaskan and knows its a fake, it will hit the rope, sending both cans sprawling at the doors, possibly damaging the car and angering the driver severely.

This same trick works great with shopping carts, I have done this at a convenient shopping center with a back thru street behind it often used on Saturday nights. The carts are aligned in such a way so as to roll and smack themselves into the car. Now, you're saying that no car in the right mind would try to run through the rope. Sometimes, yes, but the other times, they still have to stop, dont they? A convenient hill above this thru street makes for the perfect lookout. Only now the lookout becomes a battlement.

Several crabapple trees lie in the vicinity, and account for numerous attacks on drivers getting out of their cars to move the carts (or garbage cans, whichever). If you hit the cars, or drivers, be ready for an exciting chase. Now, what happens if you accidentally hit a cop car? Easy. Prevent this by keeping a lookout for the headlights. Cop cars usually have double headlights so be extra careful in deciding who to attack. A good idea is to have some form of cover in case you are chased (the hill above the thru street has a fence running along it, providing sufficient cover to hide until the guy gets out of his car).