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The Legacy Of PAUL
by DumFux
It all started in 1985 on a rock in the pacific (Hawaii), by some of my friends(not to be named).
They wanted to call a friend of theirs, so they decided to try some numbers with the 1-800-XXX and their friends name, Paul, so they tried a few, no answer(or some weren't real numbers) But, when they tried 1-xxxxxxxxxxx, They got a different answer, they got a grumpy, illiterate, old man, that they named Paul. No one can understand what his answering machine ever says, so we don't know his name. We aren't ever really mean to him, because then we get him angry and god knows what the hell he does when he's angry .
But for an example, I would call him from a payphone(the only place that was safe) say a few meaningless phrases such as " the monkey caught fire!!!" or " How was your clams with the bacon?" and in response, he would yell out some garbled sounds that kinda sounded like a gorilla dying. But the real treat was his wife.
She seriously sounded drunken 24/7, and every time you would get her, she would say that the FBI was out there, after you. If I saw her in real life, I swear she would look like The Anti-Christ.(no religious reference)
Calling Paul was an integral part of life, it was fun to talk nicely to someone, and have them scream noises that sounded like 50 retards in a dump truck, falling off the empire state building.
But Paul actually had smarts, they learned one day. He called the phone company to block his number from one of hawaii's area codes. Then mine, then one of Cali's.
Now is where you come in, my faithful readers.
Paul is the funniest person to talk to. Like I used to call up and advertise drugs with a latino accent. Sometimes he would say he would like to buy smack. I think he was serious. but From any payphone, at any time, anywhere in the USA, except for some area codes, you can call 1-xxx-xxx-xxxx. free of charge.
So spread the word, tell your friends, you out-of-state friends, or if you travel Alot, constantly call him, and ask for stuff, ask him for anything.
But what's one thing you'll always get?
Satisfaction, my friend, Satisfaction.