Take A Moment Out Of Your Lives To Thank The Greatest American Of All Time...

Hookah bookaH · #1 2007-07-12, 03:48

I am of course talking about Michael Bay. Not only is he the greatest director, producer and screenwriter of all time, he is the greatest Person of all time. Not only does he have the directing skills desired by all, he is the greatest screenwriter to ever grace this earth. His dialogue flows with exceptional ease.

His first film, 'Bad Boys', told about the harsh reality that black cops have to go through day to day in Miami.

His next film, 'The Rock', showed what happens when evil terrorists try to mess with the greatest country on Gods green earth.

Although it was with his third film, that Bay achieved God-like status. That film os none other than 'Armageddon'. It is the true story of Green Peace hating, all-American oil drillers who fly into space and save the world. Brings a tear to my eye every time.

He then showed us the uncensored truth in 'Pearl Harbor'. It must have taken him forever to make that film, since it was comprised of all real footage.

And one of my personal favorites, 'Bad Boys II', which is universally voted by critics as the Greatest Film Ever Made. And it won the Academy Award for "Most Badass Film Ever."

He then made the original story called 'The Island'. Too bad some faggots stole his great story and try to sell it off as their own. 'The Clonus Horror' what? Fuck that and stick to the original, for the 'Island' is what started it all.

And he has now made the greatest achievement in scientific history. That of course, is 'Transformers'.

So please, take a moment and give thanks and praises to our lord, Michael Bay.

Bleeding_Fetus · #2 2007-07-12, 03:50

Tell it preacher!

ObsdianZ · #3 2007-07-12, 03:57

I'll thank his parents, but I will not acknowledge the existence of a deity.

*ObZ

monkmaster · #4 2007-07-12, 04:03

Everything about this thread...

...IS WRONG.

The Benadryl Bandit · #5 2007-07-12, 04:03

Ehhh.... hes ok I guess.

I mean, he's no Jaco Pastorius, but he's ok.

Hookah bookaH · #6 2007-07-12, 05:15

Why are you all being so un-patriotic? Just because Mr. Bay dosnt dumb things down for his audience does Not give you the right to bash him. He is one of the founding fathers of this country, and deserves his space on Mt. Rushmore.

Siu 3d · #7 2007-07-12, 05:20

Any monkey with a camera can direct a movie. Now the guy holding the boom mic, there's a job that takes skill and knowledge.

TheVizier · #8 2007-07-12, 05:24

Tm Burton, Peter Jackson, David Lynch... all are better directors.

Although Bad Boys II was as funny as hell.

Hookah bookaH · #9 2007-07-12, 05:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Siu 3d

Any monkey with a camera can direct a movie. Now the guy holding the boom mic, there's a job that takes skill and knowledge.

Did I forget to mention that Mr. Bay is also one of the greatest boom mic holders around?

E-digger · #10 2007-07-12, 05:52

I did'nt like the Rock, but the Bad Boys movies were Bad Ass.