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Chemistry of women
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
Woman--Chemical Analysis
ELEMENT: Woman
SYMBOL: WO+
DISCOVERER: Adam
ATOMIC MAKE: Accepted as 110 lb. but known to vary from 100 to
550 pounds
OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities in all urban areas
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with a painted film
2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason
3. Melts if given special treatment
4. Bitter if incorrectly used
5. Found in various stages ranging from virgin metal to
common ore
6. Yields to pressure if applied to correct points
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has a great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and
precious stones
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for
no known reason
4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by
saturation with alcohol
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man
COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
TASTE:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural
state
2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2. Illegal to possess more than one at the same time
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