ask a jew

[lostmyface]

so, i think alot of you goyim are confused as to what us jews actually believe in. so i am going to try an dispell some common mistakes an answer any questions you all have. i have been a jew my whole life. an while i have not always been a practicing jew, i feel that i am still more informed about this religion than most of totse.

so &t ask your questions an i will try an answer them to the best of my abilities.

[john_deer]

Why did your murder Jesus? Also, does your circumcised dick cause your scrotum to rise up the shaft, causing a hair to grow low on your shaft?


Sorry, but really what are the Jewish views on why Jesus was not the messiah?

[lostmyface]

Originally Posted by john_deer

Why did your murder Jesus? Also, does your circumcised dick cause your scrotum to rise up the shaft, causing a hair to grow low on your shaft?


Sorry, but really what are the Jewish views on why Jesus was not the messiah?

the romans killed jesus, not us

the skin an hair rise cause as you grow older you dick gets bigger, but you are lacking skin now that you have been cut, so your body takes the skin from around your shaft a stretches it a bit.

the jews dont view christ as a messiah for one reason. if he really was the messiah then we would be in paradise right now. we are not in paradise, so obviously (to jews) christ was not the messiah. i think Christian feel that christ is coming back, an this time he will bring us to gods kingdom, now that is well an good, but us jews feel that if he was legit he would not have to come back, it would have already been done. plus he would not have been killed. i hope that answers your q. if it did not i can try an explain it better after i get back from class. but right now i am running late.

[Hare_Geist]

Originally Posted by lostmyface

the romans killed jesus, not us

The Romans killed Jesus to appease a mob of angry Jews who accused him of being a heretic and were baying for his blood...

[lostmyface]

Originally Posted by Hare_Geist

The Romans killed Jesus to appease a mob of angry Jews who accused him of being a heretic and were baying for his blood...

you believe your 2000+ year old interpretation of a story, i will believe mine.

Originally Posted by john deer

Anyways, why are you guys so successful in Hollywood and America in general?

i think jews are successful because most of us come from stable homes where education is valued. to be jewish is to have a passion to study, learn, discuss, an read. also we still suffer from the immigrant syndrome of working hard.

as far as holly wood success goes, i think some jews succeed there because we have a great sense of humor as a people.

an i would be hard pressed to find sources for what i am saying. i am not that good of a jew.

[john_deer]

^^Yup
Also I was joking about the first 2 questions....Anyways, why are you guys so successful in Hollywood and America in general? (...Another fail excuse me.)

Originally Posted by lostmyface

the jews dont view christ as a messiah for one reason. if he really was the messiah then we would be in paradise right now. we are not in paradise, so obviously (to jews) christ was not the messiah. i think Christian feel that christ is coming back, an this time he will bring us to gods kingdom, now that is well an good, but us jews feel that if he was legit he would not have to come back, it would have already been done. plus he would not have been killed. i hope that answers your q. if it did not i can try an explain it better after i get back from class. but right now i am running late.

Can you source this from the Hebrew Scriptures or at least the Torah?

[Chuck N0rris]

Originally Posted by john_deer

Why did your murder Jesus?

THIS.

[lostmyface]

Originally Posted by Chuck N0rris

THIS.

fuck off acolyte, let the men talk.

[yango wango]

To continue on that theme can you explain about the Jewish messiah? Also explain the deal with kosher food.

[ArmsMerchant]

OP, as you know, there are various Jewish sects. It would be helpful if you would identify yourself as Conservative, Reform, Orthodox, Hassidim, whatever--and explain the differences between them.