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Go Back   Community > Society > My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God

My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged.

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  #1   Add KoWbOy KiLlEr to your ignore list  
Old 2004-03-01, 07:08
KoWbOy KiLlEr KoWbOy KiLlEr is offline
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Hendersonville TN Send a message via ICQ to KoWbOy KiLlEr
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I've seen these dwindle down and all that shit but it got me to thinking (while i am an athiest lets just say i am a Zealot of the Christian Faith);

What Would Jesus Do? What would he do if someone was whoring his name off to make a quick million or so dollars. He'd be fucking pissed. If someone was going to capitalize on his name, he'd probably want the organization he created to pimp the fuck outta it.

SO what would he do? He'd come down and Rape some guys, then blow them the fuck up. He'd be so pissed that the merchandise he didn't destroy he'd probably give 'em away. After all that is the Christian Thing to do.

Jesus, God, and Moses would then come down and rape the fuck outta the guy that created this bullshit.

But in my place. What would jesus do? He'd hang himself.

/meh
  #2   Add The_Rabbi to your ignore list  
Old 2004-03-01, 07:10
The_Rabbi The_Rabbi is offline
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Jesus would allow them to do it.

That's how Jesus was. He was weak, he never retaliated. Never fought back. Except once.

When he did, God had him crucified.

What's up with that?
  #3   Add KoWbOy KiLlEr to your ignore list  
Old 2004-03-01, 07:13
KoWbOy KiLlEr KoWbOy KiLlEr is offline
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Maybe god hated 'his son'?

hell i would hate my son if he kept asking me for my help.

But i still like my idea of him unleashing hordes of demon-imps on the people who paid for those pieces of shit.
  #4   Add ---Beany--- to your ignore list  
Old 2004-03-01, 07:15
---Beany--- ---Beany--- is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by The_Rabbi:

That's how Jesus was. He was weak, he never retaliated. Never fought back. Except once.

^ You dumb bastard.

Jesus wasn't weak he was wise. You don't see that coz your a fool.
  #5   Add SEN D-F to your ignore list  
Old 2004-03-01, 07:16
SEN D-F SEN D-F is offline
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SomeEverydayNobody
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Its not Jesus they'd have to worry about, it'd be the wrath of the xian God. Like Rabbi said, Jesus was passive and wasn't a man to jump to conflict. God was the one striking people down and all that craziness.

But then again I don't believe in Christianity.
  #6   Add The_Rabbi to your ignore list  
Old 2004-03-01, 07:19
The_Rabbi The_Rabbi is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by ---Beany---:

^ You dumb bastard.

Jesus wasn't weak he was wise. You don't see that coz your a fool.
Nah.

I may be a fool, but I'm a fool who can survive in our world.

Turn the other cheek? Give me a fucking break. I've damn near browsed the Akashic Records, and even I don't believe that works.

I believe in an eye for an eye. I will never harm anyone who doesn't intend to harm me, but if the DO intend to harm me, I'll do anything, including killing them, to stop them.
  #7   Add SEN D-F to your ignore list  
Old 2004-03-01, 07:23
SEN D-F SEN D-F is offline
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SomeEverydayNobody
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Yeah Rabbi, that really sounded quite negative towards Jesus. While Im not a Christian, I think denying that Jesus existed would be a bit silly. He may not have been the son of God but he was defenitly a wise man trying to spread happiness, health and good spirit. The fact that he chose not to be a violent man doesn't make him weak.

Hell, if he was a carpenter chances are he could put his fist through your face if he wanted to. Its not like he could bust out the Dremel when he wanted to cut soemthing or sand down a piece of wood. Building things back then took some muscle.

[This message has been edited by SEN D-F (edited 03-01-2004).]
  #8   Add The_Rabbi to your ignore list  
Old 2004-03-01, 07:37
The_Rabbi The_Rabbi is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by SEN D-F:

Yeah Rabbi, that really sounded quite negative towards Jesus.
Like I care. Let him smite me, if he cares.

Quote:
quote: While Im not a Christian, I think denying that Jesus existed would be a bit silly. He may not have been the son of God but he was defenitly a wise man trying to spread happiness, health and good spirit.
I agree. I also think it'd be foolish to deny the existence of Yeshua Ben Joseph, or some such equivalent.

But I also believe that his way would not work.

Quote:
quote: The fact that he chose not to be a violent man doesn't make him weak.

Hell, if he was a carpenter chances are he could put his fist through your face if he wanted to. Its not like he could bust out the Dremel when he wanted to cut soemthing or sand down a piece of wood. Building things back then took some muscle.
I agree, which makes current visual depictions of Jesus piss me off. He shouldn't be this dainty, aryan looking pussy. He should be a big ass, ugly as sin, brown, big bastard.

I still think he was weak, though. A bit insane, too. No sane man would willingly walk off to his execution without fighting.

  #9   Add SEN D-F to your ignore list  
Old 2004-03-01, 07:41
SEN D-F SEN D-F is offline
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SomeEverydayNobody
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Yeah, its funny how an Israeli carpenter manages to come out as a skinny white man whenever people try to create an image of him. I'd like an explination for that one.

Im sure Jesus looked like someone you wouldn't wanna run into in a dark ally.
  #10   Add DgenR8 to your ignore list  
Old 2004-03-01, 09:39
DgenR8 DgenR8 is offline
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The Great Southern Land. Send a message via ICQ to DgenR8
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"An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." - Jesus (Matt 5:38)

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth.

I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." - Jesus (Matt 10:39)

Jesus was a revolutionist, a Messiah come to deliver the Jews from the tyranny of Rome.
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