Today I asked my mother - who is a devout Christian - who she loved more, me or god. The answer she gave wasn’t the answer I expected: she said she loves me but loves god too, and loves and puts god before everyone else.
So I asked her if god told her to kill me would she. She got this smirk on her face, and tried to wiggle out of it. She said: “I’d have to think about it.” I’d have to think about it! She didn’t say no, she said “I’d have to think about it.” She also said “I don’t think I could kill you, but I also don’t think I could say no to god.”
Also, to try and make me feel better, she said my sister - who is also a devout Christian - knows this. This doesn’t upset my sister and she loves god more than everyone else too. Was this meant to make me feel better?
This really fucking hurt. I don’t believe in god, so to know my mother loves an imaginary being more than me, puts him before me, and might kill me if it told her to, really fucking hurt and upset me.
Religious people are so sick in the head. Fuck, I’m pissed.
[This message has been edited by Adrenochrome (edited 05-29-2006).]
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