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Go Back   Community > Society > My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God

My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged.

 
 
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  #1   Add jvm222 to your ignore list  
Old 2006-06-12, 15:12
jvm222 jvm222 is offline
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Jesus was a con artist. That is how everyone knows him today. He started paying people after he started talking shit about he could heal people. Since people already thought he was so powerful people paid him with items. Which he used to pay people to pretend to be disabled.

Once he got well known Jesus was a rich man and hid all of his hidings. A few days before he was crucified he talked to a bunch of kings and paid them and asked them to write this retarded story and to make sure they put him as the one who saved everyone because as we all know, Jesus is a lying con artist prick and of course an attention whore. So he paid them to make this book and the whole bible acronym is just a coincidence.

The people who actually killed him were the sane ones and everyone else was just involved in his little con games because well, they got paid to lie. Jesus told the kings to make sure to pass down the story from generation to generation and make sure someone writes about it. Jesus also gave him a treasure map to show where to find the items he has collected over the years when he was alive. So about 1000 years later there was this greedy fucking son of the king who decided to write a book because he always had sexual fantasies about cutting and the world coming to an end.

He found the treasure map and located the treasure, which inspired him even more to write a book and lie about Jesus because Jesus made the greedy son a rich man. The king’s son only thought it would be right to lie a little to make Jesus seem all-powerful. This is how the bible came into place and how everyone thought Jesus was some "healer". Only I know he was a con artist because I am Jehovah and that is why they killed me because I knew too much but I came back as a monkey and I’m telling the whole world the truth about Jesus.

P.s. Mary wasn't a virgin, they never knew because the doctor’s back then didn't know if the hymen broke or not.

Edited to make readable.

[This message has been edited by jvm222 (edited 06-12-2006).]
 


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