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Go Back   Community > Society > My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God

My God Can Beat the Shit Out of Your God For discussing any and all religious viewpoints. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Keeping your sense of humor is required. Posting messages about theological paradoxes is encouraged.

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  #1   Add Nibroc to your ignore list  
Old 2006-09-02, 09:33
Nibroc Nibroc is offline
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Well, Adam and eve had 2 boys.. one kills the other.. they are left with 1 child (i beleve)

Who Does That child have kids with? and technically... That would imply that everyone on the earth is related and from the same gene pool, so.. Your girlfriend is really a distant cousin?

My fact might be a bit off, i'm athiest and have read tidbits of the bible long ago.
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  #2   Add Elephantitis Man to your ignore list  
Old 2006-09-02, 09:38
Elephantitis Man Elephantitis Man is offline
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No. As the story goes, Adam and Eve had lots of kids. Cain and Abel were the only ones talked about because Cain fucked up his sacrifice and hit Abel with a rock. They fucked their sisters, not Eve.

And yeah, according to the bible, everyone's ancestry can be traced back to a single pair of humans.
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  #3   Add Nibroc to your ignore list  
Old 2006-09-02, 10:02
Nibroc Nibroc is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Elephantitis Man:

No. As the story goes, Adam and Eve had lots of kids. Cain and Abel were the only ones talked about because Cain fucked up his sacrifice and hit Abel with a rock. They fucked their sisters, not Eve.

And yeah, according to the bible, everyone's ancestry can be traced back to a single pair of humans.


Well still, the bible teaches children that having sex with your sister/borther is ok?!

Fucked up.

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  #4   Add Sephiroth to your ignore list  
Old 2006-09-02, 10:11
Sephiroth Sephiroth is offline
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Leviticus 18

Quote:
quote: 1 The LORD said to Moses, 2 "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'I am the LORD your God. 3 You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices. 4 You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the LORD your God. 5 Keep my decrees and laws, for the man who obeys them will live by them. I am the LORD.

6 " 'No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD.

7 " 'Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her.

8 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your father's wife; that would dishonor your father.

9 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father's daughter or your mother's daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.

10 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your son's daughter or your daughter's daughter; that would dishonor you.

11 " 'Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father's wife, born to your father; she is your sister.

12 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your father's sister; she is your father's close relative.

13 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your mother's sister, because she is your mother's close relative.

14 " 'Do not dishonor your father's brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt.

15 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son's wife; do not have relations with her.

16 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your brother's wife; that would dishonor your brother.

17 " 'Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son's daughter or her daughter's daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness.

18 " 'Do not take your wife's sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living.

19 " 'Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.

20 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor's wife and defile yourself with her.

21 " 'Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed [a] to Molech, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD.

22 " 'Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.

23 " 'Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.

24 " 'Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. 25 Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants. 26 But you must keep my decrees and my laws. The native-born and the aliens living among you must not do any of these detestable things, 27 for all these things were done by the people who lived in the land before you, and the land became defiled. 28 And if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it vomited out the nations that were before you.

29 " 'Everyone who does any of these detestable things—such persons must be cut off from their people. 30 Keep my requirements and do not follow any of the detestable customs that were practiced before you came and do not defile yourselves with them. I am the LORD your God.' "
People are forgetting the Nephilim, by the way. The Angels got some action too...
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  #5   Add Nibroc to your ignore list  
Old 2006-09-02, 10:17
Nibroc Nibroc is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Sephiroth:

Leviticus 18

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 The LORD said to Moses, 2 "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'I am the LORD your God. 3 You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices. 4 You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the LORD your God. 5 Keep my decrees and laws, for the man who obeys them will live by them. I am the LORD.

6 " 'No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD.

7 " 'Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her.

8 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your father's wife; that would dishonor your father.

9 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father's daughter or your mother's daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.

10 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your son's daughter or your daughter's daughter; that would dishonor you.

11 " 'Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father's wife, born to your father; she is your sister.

12 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your father's sister; she is your father's close relative.

13 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your mother's sister, because she is your mother's close relative.

14 " 'Do not dishonor your father's brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt.

15 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son's wife; do not have relations with her.

16 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your brother's wife; that would dishonor your brother.

17 " 'Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son's daughter or her daughter's daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness.

18 " 'Do not take your wife's sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living.

19 " 'Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.

20 " 'Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor's wife and defile yourself with her.

21 " 'Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed [a] to Molech, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD.

22 " 'Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.

23 " 'Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.

24 " 'Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. 25 Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants. 26 But you must keep my decrees and my laws. The native-born and the aliens living among you must not do any of these detestable things, 27 for all these things were done by the people who lived in the land before you, and the land became defiled. 28 And if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it vomited out the nations that were before you.

29 " 'Everyone who does any of these detestable things—such persons must be cut off from their people. 30 Keep my requirements and do not follow any of the detestable customs that were practiced before you came and do not defile yourselves with them. I am the LORD your God.' "



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

People are forgetting the Nephilim, by the way. The Angels got some action too...


Uhh... But they Cain still banged his sister(s) in order to populate the earth

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  #6   Add Source to your ignore list  
Old 2006-09-02, 10:23
Source Source is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by Sephiroth:

19 " 'Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.
Well I'm going to hell.

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  #7   Add Niceguy to your ignore list  
Old 2006-09-02, 23:36
Niceguy Niceguy is offline
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I wonder if normal bleeding is considered as unclean.

Hmmm, probably not with the whole wine thing.

*pointless post*
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  #8   Add hespeaks to your ignore list  
Old 2006-09-03, 01:22
hespeaks hespeaks is offline
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Genesis 19

33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, "Last night I lay with my father. Let's get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and lie with him so we can preserve our family line through our father." 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went and lay with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

36 So both of Lot's daughters became pregnant by their father.

And God was indifferent about this.
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  #9   Add Abrahim to your ignore list  
Old 2006-09-04, 03:35
Abrahim Abrahim is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by hespeaks:

Genesis 19

33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, "Last night I lay with my father. Let's get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and lie with him so we can preserve our family line through our father." 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went and lay with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

36 So both of Lot's daughters became pregnant by their father.

And God was indifferent about this.
Ew.

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  #10   Add The_Big_Beef to your ignore list  
Old 2006-09-04, 09:06
The_Big_Beef The_Big_Beef is offline
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Quote:
quote:Originally posted by hespeaks:

Genesis 19

33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, "Last night I lay with my father. Let's get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and lie with him so we can preserve our family line through our father." 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went and lay with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

36 So both of Lot's daughters became pregnant by their father.

And God was indifferent about this.
Umm i believe it also said it was the disshonerable origins of i think 2 groups of people.
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