Is hell endothermic or exothermic?

[chickenpoop]

Well?

[Twisted_Ferret]

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion on average, we can predict that all people and all souls go to hell on average. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Thus, there are two possible conditions:

1. ) If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, than the temperature and pressure in hell will increase exponentially until all hell breaks loose.

-OR-

2. ) If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

We can solve this dilemna with the 1990 postulation of Ms. Theresa LeClair, the woman who lived across the hall from me in first year residence. Since I have still not been successful in obtaining sexual relations with her, I know that condition two has not been met, and thus it can be concluded that condition one is true, and therefore that hell is exothermic.

[Taldier]

lol, I think that may be the funniest thing I've ever read.

Remember however that Boyles law assumes constant temperature, thus you would only be able to find pressure based on volume and vice versa. Also for Boyles law to apply we must also assume that a soul is a hypothetical gas consisting of identical particles of negligible volume, with no intermolecular forces.

If we make this assumption I think it would be more accurate to postulate that the volume of hell is not increasing. Thus by using the combined gas law we would find that pressure and temperature of hell would be directly proportional. Since we agree that the many conflicting religions would cause a constant exponential increase in the number of souls entering hell. We can clearly see that this increase in moles of souls would cause an increase in the pressure of hell. Since the pressure and temperature of hell are directly proportional, we can further see that the increase in pressure would cause an increase in temperature. Therefore it is clear that hell is indeed exothermic and that hell is incapable of freezing over without a sharp decrease in the number of souls within it. Since we have postulated that souls can never leave hell and shown that hell is not currently frozen over we can assume that it never will become frozen unless the volume of hell were to be expanded (hell breaking loose?). Unfortunately this means that without said expansion of hell, you will never be able obtain sexual relations with said Ms. Theresa LeClair.

Based on this data we can also extrapolate that this continuing rise in the temperature of hell is clearly the cause of global warming. Since hell is generally supposed to be underground we can assume that the heat from hell would rise eventually causing a dramatic increase in surface temperature.

Furthermore since hell is increasing in temperature, it should be possible to harness this heat as an energy source. By continuing to insure that all people go to hell we would be able to create an infinite clean energy source by boiling water with “hellfire”. Of course we would have to make some sort of deal with the devil to prevent him from expanding the volume of hell and thus robbing us of our potential energy source.

Since such an infinite source of energy would violate the principle of conservation of energy (and thus the conservation of mass). It should be possible to harness enough energy from hell to actually create, destroy, and alter matter. Unfortunately the price for becoming said masters of time and space is the loss of any chance of you obtaining sexual relations with Ms. Theresa LeClair.

lol

[karma_sleeper]

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion on average, we can predict that all people and all souls go to hell on average. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Thus, there are two possible conditions:

1. ) If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, than the temperature and pressure in hell will increase exponentially until all hell breaks loose.

-OR-

2. ) If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

We can solve this dilemna with the 1990 postulation of Ms. Theresa LeClair, the woman who lived across the hall from me in first year residence. Since I have still not been successful in obtaining sexual relations with her, I know that condition two has not been met, and thus it can be concluded that condition one is true, and therefore that hell is exothermic.

Wasn't that a joke e-mail from years ago?

[MasterPython]

quote:Originally posted by karma_sleeper:

Wasn't that a joke e-mail from years ago?

Yes

[Source]

[flatplat]

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass.

I've always thought that if souls did exist, they would appear to be made of light or something similar. And photons don't have any known mass. So souls mightn't necessarily have mass.

I've just been studying a little modern physics and might be thinking a little too much into it...

Awesome thread, by the way.

[ArgonPlasma2000]

quote:Originally posted by Twisted_Ferret:

First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion on average, we can predict that all people and all souls go to hell on average. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Thus, there are two possible conditions:

1. ) If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, than the temperature and pressure in hell will increase exponentially until all hell breaks loose.

-OR-

2. ) If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

We can solve this dilemna with the 1990 postulation of Ms. Theresa LeClair, the woman who lived across the hall from me in first year residence. Since I have still not been successful in obtaining sexual relations with her, I know that condition two has not been met, and thus it can be concluded that condition one is true, and therefore that hell is exothermic.

Thats not true. Photons are real but do not have mass.

But thats pretty funny, nonetheless.