How has your faith evolved?

[jb_mcbean]

Before all the creationists start mouthing off; "Darwin was a nazi!!!" and other bullshit, this thread is about personal development, not evolution of your religion or whatever.

Anyway, when I was a young lad, my parents were very religious, and I was fine with that, I'd go to church, sit at Sunday school and be taught the same fabulous stories over and over again, I'd learn about morality and about what "God liked" (at this young age I actually believed there was a god who listened to everything I said and could answer prayers in voice, etc.) .

As I got slightly older (but was still a child) I began to see the hypocrisy of the preachers at sunday school. I felt they were teaching moral codes that they ignored, themselves. At this young stage, I became more god-fearing than I have ever been in my life, although I stopped attending church after asking my mother. At this point I believed that attending church deviated from what Jesus taught, and that by helping your community, praying and always expanding your mind, you would be pleasing God.

As a consequence of this I began reading quite a lot and a new perspective on social organisation which was both charitable and preached equality became known to me. This hotspot of biblical values is known as communism.

A new left wing me was born, one who still held to the beliefs of the church but strived for equality and justice. My belief in the Bible at this point held back my communist views, however. My sceptical belief in an abhorrent side of humanity made communism seem a withered pipe dream with no hope of realisation.

Throughout this transitionary period, I continued to read avidly. Fiction, Non-fiction, whatever, I remember thinking at one point maybe if I read every book on this planet I'd one day be smart enough to "cure death", I was still, of course a naive child at heart. This childlike wish, and some other events had made me realise that religion and my thirst for knowledge had scarred me with a deep-seated fear of death, I began to loathe the idea of mortality and quiver at the thought of the unknown.

During these years of my childhood, my grandfather passed away. This man, in the short time I knew him, left a great impression on me and I thought about the calm way he accepted death, it's a natural thing isn't it, giving in and breathing your last? Finally my fear of death was gone, I could embrace the unknown.

Life returned to normal and I continued to read.

Eventually in some book, a work of fiction I believe, I came a cross an idea that intrigued and seduced me;

When we die, what we think will happen, will happen.

I began to accept this idea as the truth, dabbling in Wicca and in Buddhism, eventually leaving both faiths but taking the concept of karma with me, something which I believe there is evidence for the existence of unlike other religious concepts. Eventually I started thinking in a pseudo-scientific religious way; what if our consciousness moves from one dimension to another when we die, another like the one we came from, except in this one, we didn't die and had no memory of actually dying.

This is the point when I began to challenge my beliefs in god. What if everyone is right, why does that make me any better? Why should I need to believe in God and accept an eternal existence when I can accept nothing, and choose to live life more fully?

Wildness flourished and I became a hedonist, solely interested in pleasure, my life taking no meaning except that which I enjoyed, I became what is quite wrongly labelled a “pothead” only finally dropping the habit sometime very recently.

My communist beliefs then began to flourish, moving me into the extreme left of the political spectrum instead of left-centrist. I began to think morally and philosophically again, about society as a whole.

Then, at some point recently my philosophy changed, I now support society because it supports me, my actions fall within the bounds of society's modern ideals because outside of it I have left and, outside society, a human being just exists, it doesn't live.

My new philosophical standpoint, I'll admit, is egoist and my quest for immortality has been reduced to a quest for fame, my new ideal help for the community and society is the acquisition of wealth to share with my friends, because that would make me happy and I don't give a damn what the rest of the world thinks or does because if it doesn't affect me directly, it doesn't affect me at all. Communism, to me now is something I would accept, should it properly arise, but don’t really care about anymore in a sense, it’s not that I believe humans are inherently greedy, it’s that they are inherently lazy, and so am I in that I’m not passionate about any social system enough to want to change the current, which I’m used to.

The appeasement of one entity continues within me, in a sense, though I don't choose to believe in omnipotence or omni-benevolence or indeed anything that can't be backed with evidence, I still try to please one being. That being has changed from the god of Christian folklore to a less ethereal entity, myself.

So anyway in this thread I want some nice long, informative, and hopefully interesting posts about how your faith and beliefs have changed over the years, and why. Throw in lots of spiritual moments and epiphanies, just because that's what we all want to hear. So get cracking people.

[Hexadecimal]

I was raised Seventh Day Adventist. Turned my back on that when I was 9 and believed in a completely 'omnibenevolent' being. That evolved into the 'universal spirit' when I was 12 and realized that life needs death to continue, and death needs life to occur.

I completely quit believing when I was 14. Went through hell with drug addiction for 5 years; comitted suicide on July 30th, pronounced braindead on the 31st - woke up in jail on August 1st to find that I was braindead for almost four minutes; had a complete recollection of my 'death'.

Since then, I've admitted my agnosticism. Went through rehab with a completely new life view and have successfully quit drugs and am now living a life that I can live with. I now choose to call the eternal that is beyond my comprehension and knowledge 'god'. I spend a good deal of my time meditating.

[king koopa]

Raised Catholic. I've realised the idiocy religion brings and now I commit the "sin" of blasphemy nonstop. My fav "sin".

But seriously, I've stopped believing in the Christian church. It alienated me with it's hypocrisy and intolerance.

[Viraljimmy]

My faith died.

[Aseren]

quote:Originally posted by Viraljimmy:

My faith died.

[MRman]

well... my dad is atheist i think, although he doesnt put it to a name as such. My mum is lutheran kinda, but she's now into all spiritual stuff, and then she tries to see my aura and stuff, but i just tell her to fuck off.

Anywho, i was brought up with no faith whatsoever, although my mum beleives in a god, she never said that there deffinately was, and let me make my mind up about it... my dad said more if you believe in god you are an idiot but whatever.

Anywho... i grew up my whole life being atheist/agnostic... or perhaps weak atheist is a better term.

Anout 10 months ago, i started getting more interested in other religions and i did a lot of research into all religions... well, not all of them, not christianity, islam or judaism... because they all believe in a greater power.

But eventually i decided that buddhism was the best, as it didnt force me to do anything in particular, it didnt say that there was a god or any higher power... it just promoted kindness and being good all round, something i've always wanted to be good at, well i guess i am.

anywho, im 14 now and thats all thats happened with religion in my life.

[Beelzebub]

quote:Originally posted by Hexadecimal:

I was raised Seventh Day Adventist. Turned my back on that when I was 9 and believed in a completely 'omnibenevolent' being. That evolved into the 'universal spirit' when I was 12 and realized that life needs death to continue, and death needs life to occur.

I completely quit believing when I was 14. Went through hell with drug addiction for 5 years; comitted suicide on July 30th, pronounced braindead on the 31st - woke up in jail on August 1st to find that I was braindead for almost four minutes; had a complete recollection of my 'death'.

Since then, I've admitted my agnosticism. Went through rehab with a completely new life view and have successfully quit drugs and am now living a life that I can live with. I now choose to call the eternal that is beyond my comprehension and knowledge 'god'. I spend a good deal of my time meditating.

2 words:

bull shit

[One_way_mirror]

positive correlation between abstract thought and paranoia.

You question answered in brief.

[richard lizard]

I'm 58. I wasn't raised "in the Church" but was born into the "Bilble Belt" of the USA. I was exposed to Christianity early in life and attended church occasionally with other family and friends. In my early teens, with hormones raging, church was a place to meet girls. One night a young lady and myself and another young couple were preached through the gates of hell by a church deacon for our activities behind the church. We stlll had all our clothes on. If God was against this I didn't want any part of God. So at age 14 I became an Atheist which was about the only name I knew for someone who didn't believe in God. Of course at this time the only "God" I knew was basically Christian. Over the years as I've read and learned about religion, spirituality, science, and most of all, human beings, my personal concept of God and God's place in my life has changed . Much of my learning came from my own personal experience. Having become afflicted with alcoholism, I got involved with 12 step programs that suggest we develop a reliance on doing what God wants us to do. I mean go figure. An active alcoholic's life is often a screwed up mess at best. Doing anything but what the alcoholic wants is probabaly going to mean an improvement. 12 step programs don't tell what God is. They call it a "power greater than ourselves". They say "God of your understanding" I try to rely today on a God of my own personal understanding. Actually I understand very little about God and will always be restricted by my humanity. But, to me, the true laws of God are the laws of nature, of physics. Verily I say unto you what goes up will always come down unless acted on by a force greater than that exerted by gravity in the appropriate vector. However, being forced by my own selfish humanity to live among others, the laws of man (whether set by government, religion, etc.) are of concern also.

Today I pray actively for God's guidance. Though I don't believe God is an entity as humans think nor a deity as religions signify, prayer works for me. Okay? Let's hope it keeps working and maybe no one out there will meet me on the street, drunk, in my car, head on. Okay!!!!!

[Twisted_Ferret]

My mother tried to make me religious, though she wasn't religious herself. She thought that a belief in Jesus would help me through life. For a while we would pray every night, but she never really went into details and my belief was never much than "there's this good and loving person called Jesus who listens to me pray." At somewhere around 9 years old, I gradually began to realize that this was a pretty unfounded belief. I eventually quit praying and didn't pay much attention to the whole issue for a while, only to later become an agnostic/atheist... which is what I am now.