Ego; self. It is our knowledge, our awareness. Through ego, we can analyze our existence.
Through ego, we can feel pity if we deem our own existence inferior, or we can feel pride if we deem our own existence superior.
By what basis does the ego make these judgements?
Comparisons to itself, obviously. When we experience pain, we remember how we experienced such; same with pleasure. Instead of simply avoiding or continuing these activites, we analyze them, and comparing others' actions to our own, we deem them inferior if they experience our pains to a greater extent, superior if our pleasures to a greater extent: our equals are those who experience their self within the same restrictions we have.
Even with our comparisons and analyses to distract us, we still find yet time to attempt to understand our own worth and meaning. We can judge others based on self, but are we to judge self based on others? Would this not make judgement futile?
I believe, that at this point in self analysis, most develop their core belief: it is an apparently objective measure to judge their self and others against. The developed objective judges are the experience gods (gods of life, medicine, love, war, pain, sorrow, death, wealth, happiness, etc). Humans judge self and others based on property in a variety of areas: Material possessions, spousal possessions, spiritual possessions, possessed information, possessed powers - ultimately, people are judged at this point of ego by their influences.
Another deviation from this point of ego arises though; all possessions are temporary, even life. So then, above the objective judge of limited and subjective experience, came the objective judge of the ethereal: a super-god, God. Now, at this point, people are judged simply on a binary basis; faith or no faith.
From this point of ego arises the root of prior deviations and nearly the last deviation - doubt. No longer is the objective experience, nor is the objective God, but the objective becomes the war between certainty and doubt. This state of ego is first a basis of agnosticism, then of solipsism: the ego can create a reason to doubt absolutely everything except an undefineable 'something'. This 'something' becomes the objective. Being as this 'something' is the ONLY objective, anything meant to define it, any proposed knowledge or information meant to explain it, is quickly cast aside as fruitless. Existence itself loses meaning at this point.
Then comes the last certain deviation - egodeath. With all but 'something' having lost its meaning, the ego no longer wants to remain. All attachment to being has lost its power. The self does not even matter anymore; nothing matters except for 'something'.
Without the ego present, what is remaining of existence is odd to ANY amount of ego - no judgement resides within or without, and no judgement rendered is accepted as a judgement, but merely an action, thought, or feeling. At this point of being, thoughts dictate nothing; emotions dictate nothing; actions dictate nothing. There is no control of the external, but only a calm peace inside.
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