telling my hardcore christian parents that I am an athiest

[K Scott]

Ok, heres the situation. My dad is a former coke addict, and my stepmom is a former alcoholic, and a few years ago "christ helped them overcome their addictions" as they put it. So ever since then they have been some hardcore christians, and they have made me go to church every sunday for the past few years. At first I just sat there in church not really paying attention, but then I finally decided to listen to what the pastor was talking about. The more I payed attention to him the more I realized that christianity is a bunch of bullshit. I came to realize that I did not want to follow a religion not too soon after that, but I have never told my parents. They are always trying to instill these "christian values" in me, and I am just sick of hearing it. I want to tell them that I am an atheist, but when my older brother told them that a couple years ago, they didnt talk to him for almost a year, and his relationship with them is really shitty now. I have a decent relationship with them now and I dont want to fuck that up, so I need some suggestions to tell them the truth. Have any of you ever been in a situation like this and can you give me some advice?

[jackketch]

Best advice, keep your mouth shut til you leave home.

Seriously, anything else will just lead to world of hurt and aggravation.

Your parents maybe ,theologically speaking,away with the fucking fairies but if they overcame addictions with 'jesus'help' then there aint NO way, NO how they are going to understand your point of view.

Forget it.

[Cytosine]

What jackketch said. Just wait till you leave home. I know it'll suck for now, but hey, you can think of a funny way to tell them.

You could send them a giant cake that reads "I THINK GOD IS IMAGINARY" with a flaming bible on top, instead of a candle.

Sure, they'd be pissed. But who doesn't love cake?

[AngryFemme]

Did they happen to go through the AA or NA (alcoholics/narcotics anonymous) program?

Reason I ask - people are often "born again" through these 12-step programs. They are taught through peer counseling that they are completely, utterly helpless at overcoming their addiction without a Higher Power. Once successful at kicking their habits, the anxiety that accompanies an addict's recovery period can be brutal, but the 12 step program calls for an aggressive follow-up that includes ongoing participation in the meetings and a sequestered support group that continually drives home the program itself.

People argue that any method that frees a person from substance abuse should be considered a successful one, but I vehemently disagree. Having to replace one co-dependency (drugs/alcohol) with another (relying on God as their crutch) doesn't seem like the healthiest strategy one could adopt.

I agree with jack on this - if you really feel that your relationship with them now is better than ever before, keep your disdain for Christianity to yourself for the time being, especially if you live with them. You can probably duck out of religious services and find other excuses to not participate in any of their holy worship.

If their born-again status is still in it's toddler stage (you said it was only a few years ago) - they'll likely attempt even more conversion efforts directed at you if you come right out and admit to being an atheist. Wait until you move out to tell them, else you risk being victim to some kind of religious intervention.

[Q]

If they are trying to brainwash you into believing their bullshit then they don't deserve your respect.
Your brother did the right thing by sticking with his beliefs and you should follow his example.
Don't try hiding who you are from them just because they are so immature that they won't speak to you if you don't have the same imaginary friends as them. They are not worth it.

[jackketch]

Angryfemme touched on this point already.

You need to view your parents as you would someone suffering from a psychosis.

You could take them up in a helicopter over Paris and show them everything built in the last 150 years but they'll still know that they ARE Napoleon!

Nothing you can say or do will change their *opinion*,

[karma_sleeper]

Good advice all around.

I wouldn't treat them as if they're suffering a psychosis, though. But I still would not attempt to tell your parents anything about your true convictions now. They may be steeped in the wonder stages of Jesus discovery, but they are still rational people who love and care about you.

You may never be able to change their opinions regarding Christianity, nor should you try. The best you can do is make it so they understand your perspective. To understand, you don't have to agree. Maybe one day, when you do tell them, you can do it in a way that proves to them they can still love you without compromising their faith in Christ and avoid a repeat with what happened to your brother.

[AngryFemme]

Originally Posted by Q

They are not worth it.

They are his parents, and he obviously loves them. Of course they are worth it.

Worth being sheltered, that is. It's almost analogous to parents who successfully hide their financial woes or relationship problems from their small children just because the children aren't mature enough to understand yet.

Like karma sleeper said, they're so steeped in their religion right now, they're going to have a hard time relating to you as a godless person. They'll feel obligated to try and make you change your beliefs to be on par with theirs.

[---Beany---]

Tell them. Fuck being someone your not till you leave home. Fuck that.

[Surak]

If you tell them now, they are going to make your life miserable. If you are financially dependent on them, they're going to screw you there too. Keep your mouth shut until you've left home and you don't need them anymore, then tell them.

If you do this now, they are going to hurt you in any way they can "for your own good."