Should I turn to Christianity?

[nau06248]

I will start with a bit of background.

My mother is an active Christian I have been brought up in a Christian fashion, being forced to go to church every Sunday and such. I took an interest in the religion at about the age of 12. I was baptised of my own accord. At the age of maybe 15/16 I became educated in other possibilities, such as we are all one big coincidence(life, planet earth etc.). Since that age I have been increasingly atheist.

More recently I have become increasingly depressed due to several reasons, I have a few good friends that are Christian, and have suggested returning to Christianity. I have started to attend church on the occasional weekend, with CU meeting here and there. I have to say I find it all very interesting.

I don't want to turn to the church simply because I am at an all time low, and need support. It is almost like using people for my own benefit.

I think the main problem I have is the nagging voice in the back of my head that says "this isn't real". But yet I still have this amazing force inside me pushing me towards the church.

My most recent opinion(I have had this opinion for a while, before I was recently drawn to Christianity) on religion is, If I died and went to hell as a 'non-believer' I wouldn't be surprised if there was an 'all knowing being'. I really don't mean to make that sound so trivial, but it is the only way I can get it across!

What I am looking for is ideally a bit of guidance. My situation is obviously to do with Christianity but I believe this topic/situation could apply to any religion.

Opinions would be great.

[joecaveman]

I don't see how you could be fulfilled by something you don't believe in. Is this what you are asking?

But I'm not you and this isn't your blog, what kind of answers are you expecting?

[Graemy]

Maybe, you are being pushed to study the christian religion, not believe in it per se. but study it. like a theologian.

[Xerxes35]

The only reason you feel this way is because you were lied to your entire life by your religious zealot of a mother. She brainwashed you. You need to use reason to shake off the religion in you.

I am an atheist and I too was abused by my parents. I wish it were true that there was an all loving God protecting us, however there is no evidence for this. You need to constantly remind yourself that what is true is better than being lied to.

The truth will set you free.

Good luck.

[RandomHero]

Read the book "Tao of Meditation" and I know all of your problems will be solved.

[AngryFemme]

Originally Posted by nau06248

More recently I have become increasingly depressed due to several reasons, I have a few good friends that are Christian, and have suggested returning to Christianity. I have started to attend church on the occasional weekend, with CU meeting here and there. I have to say I find it all very interesting.

Do you feel like it helps with your depression? If so, you could always pay heed to that nagging voice you speak of, if only to humor it, by trying to achieve the same help from other sources.

That would probably involve taking a long, hard look at all the dynamics involved in the catharsis you get from the church. Ask yourself what it really is that makes the church so appealing and interesting to you.

There could be other not-so-obvious benefits you're reaping as a member besides just the inspiration from a God that you aren't quite sure you believe in wholeheartedly anyway.

Maybe it's the camaraderie and the strong sense of belonging that comes with being a part of a tight community. Maybe you are drawn in by the structure of it all, and prefer to have a strict set of guidelines in which to confidently set your standards by.

Maybe you just appreciate a good story that promises it's faithful readers the mother of all happy endings! The nagging voice you described is a part of you. A part of you that is compelled to take the high road, but not prepared to disillusion yourself. This nagging voice should be a boon to you, a faithful watchdog that's trained to prevent you from being duped.

If you could pinpoint other reasons why it appeals to you, you could seek out other methods of obtaining it, and at least you could be comfortable knowing that you aren't missing out on other sources of comfort that doesn't depend on you believing in things that you have to talk yourself into being true.

[Cytosine]

Originally Posted by nau06248

More recently I have become increasingly depressed due to several reasons, I have a few good friends that are Christian, and have suggested returning to Christianity. I have started to attend church on the occasional weekend, with CU meeting here and there. I have to say I find it all very interesting.

I don't want to turn to the church simply because I am at an all time low, and need support. It is almost like using people for my own benefit.

I think the main problem I have is the nagging voice in the back of my head that says "this isn't real". But yet I still have this amazing force inside me pushing me towards the church..

I was in a similar situation when I was around 15. I, like most teens, had problems with depression. These problems were reaching an all-time high, and I was starting down the path of alcoholism. A couple Christian friends (how does an alcoholic atheist in the 10th grade have Christian friends? AP classes) convinced me that my problems were due to "sin" and guilt-tripped me into joining their youth group.

I really, honestly almost converted. I even broke down during a sermon. Their pastor was good. He was wonderful at manipulating my self-doubt and the sense of loneliness that was causing me depression.

It was only when I realistically and critically examined my thoughts and actions that I came to the conclusion that the only difference between drinking and joining the church was that my liver would be in better shape. I was still trying to fill the void in my life, and neither was very constructive.

I'm not sure of your situation is the same, and I'm really not suggesting you go down the same road I have. But just think critically and be very aware of what motives the people around you may have. For example, as an atheist I would really rather you stay on the disbelieving side, but that's your choice.

Best of luck in whatever you decide.

[The_Big_Beef]

The nagging voice in the back of your head should be used as a guideline, don't insult it by ignoring it. Join some other organization or group --that won't rot your brain-- to fullfill your need for togetherness.

[BrokeProphet]

Get new friends. Having friends who are devout christians is pointless. ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING you ever need to talk about or get some advice on will be ........... Duh...God will help you.

There minds are trained to use human misery for the benefit of the cult. All cults do this. ALL.

Find new friends who drink their moo-moo from a big boy cup and not a ba-ba.

[jackketch]

Once again Saint Francis Xavier is proved right.