i hate christianity

[onmyresolve]

i am 17 living in California. i hate this place. i hate the suburbs. it's real shitty place to be. i have parents who are Christians. when i was young i thought i felt the presence of something in me but now that i look back on that. i feel like i am a complete moron. today i am facing problems with my parents. constantly when i sleep at night, i feel immense pain in my stomach area. i cant breath and i feel like i am going to pass out in my dream. i feel pain in my balls almost every moment in my dream. i dont know what the fuck this means but i dont like to sleep. my dad notices i dont sleep and asks me why. i tell him why do i need to? if i am an insomniac then fine i will become one. but why should i sleep.

of course i knew the obvious answer to this. but he replied with something that i would have never guessed in my life.

"you need sleep to rest your soul. your soul is BOMBARDED with evil it takes in and you need to realease that in your sleep. now please michael, go to bed."

this gets me so angry. i can't sleep for the night. i have to be careful when i am angry, otherwise i tense up for hours without my intention. i hate it.

my dad calls everyone evil. when my dad was arguing with my mom. he would swear like no other and even hit my mom. he went to jail a couple of times because of that. One day he said my mom was "possessed by demons" and kept screaming "get out Satan", "Jesus Christ compels you" like as if it were on tv. i fucking hate my dad.

he calls me evil because i don't obey his rules. "well you know what, i may be a shitty father" my dad yells, "but you are a crappy son! you are supposed to obey your parents like in the ten commandments. you are a sinner and you should go to church and pray for forgiveness." I'm screaming in my head WHAT THE FUCK. i get so pissed off i cant say anything. it is a great weakness in me. i fucking hate it

this is just the little things I've been through, i hate Christianity. i really do. it is turning people into psychos who "feel something" when they feel loved by Him.It turns people into thinking differently like why i should sleep at night. it is only a belief to keep us "sane" and morally submissive to the unknown. fuck that. fuck Christianity.