Help me believe in God

[Spam Box]

Thanks to magic mushrooms I've come to *realize* that me, you, animals, plants, air, we're all the same. I can't help but see myself and everything around me differently now, best way to describe it is its like everything, including myself makes up a blanket and I'm part of it and at random times I flicker to a third person type perspective where I can see the entire blanket, which is generally followed by mild to moderate depression. Ever since doing psychs I'm been left with a feeling of emptiness at times, like there should be something more. I've talked to a couple religious people including a pastor in an attempt to find whatever I'm missing, but their ignorance, combined with that insufferable arrogance makes me sick.

I've thought about there being a god, a creator for a long time after my trip but came to the conclusion that any god that exists can never be reached by us...we're just the blanket. I wish I didn't believe this, wish there was a way to unbelieve this but I don't know how.

How can I fill this empty void? Is there any atheist/agnostic turned believers here who can offer some help?