Question about funerals

Source · #1 2006-10-03, 16:40

I've only ever been to, two funerals and one of those was when I was like 3-4, so it's more of a blur than anything. The other was a year or so ago.

Now I have no idea if the guy was religious or not, didn't know him that well (he was a friend of my mothers) but it was a christian funeral. I only went because I was asked by my mother to attend, I usually try to avoid these things and get out of them as best as possible.

Anyway death is inevitable and unavoidable, unfourtunatly... And the time is going to come when I have to deal with a family members demise. So I'm just woundering how would an atheist deal with such an event? specially if the rest of their family were not atheist?

Would you go with the beliefs of the family member because thats what they'd want? Or would you think, 'well they're dead and their beleif's are stupid' and hold a non-religious funeral? Or in the event it wasn't your choice and another person was dealing with the whole thing, and chose a religious funeral, would you attend the funeral even though you didn't believe in God?

I don't know, maybe this is a stupid topic with an obvious answer, but it's been on my mind for a while.

Issue313 · #2 2006-10-03, 16:42

Dead people have no rights, no legal identity, they belong to the next of kin who can do whatever they want with them.

With regards funerals, personally I'm thinking something more along the lines of Weekend at Bernie's.

[This message has been edited by Issue313 (edited 10-03-2006).]

Elephantitis Man · #3 2006-10-03, 18:15

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Issue313:

Dead people have no rights, no legal identity, they belong to the next of kin who can do whatever they want with them.

What the hell?

So if you had a dear friend who died, and his family pissed on his body and raped it, you wouldn't be the least bit troubled?

I think there is such a thing as "honoring the dead". It's not really a "right" that is set in stone, but just a sign of respect for humanity. People can't just do whatever the fuck they want with dead relatives, though. It's not right.

That being said, if one of my religious family members died, I'd organize a religious funeral and have them buried the way they would have wanted to be. Likewise, if I were to die, I would hope that my family would have enough respect for my life to honor my death they way I'd prefer it be honored, in a secular service allowing those close to me to get together and say "Yeah, we'll miss him", mourn, and get on with their lives.

ArmsMerchant · #4 2006-10-03, 20:59

I find the whole idea of funerals to be morbid and pointless.

The body is merely the physical means by which the soul manifests itself. When the soul passes on, what is left is just so much garbage.

There is a religious sect--Ill probably recall the name as soon as I log off the comp--which puts corpses up on platforms to be devoured by vultures and other scavengers, which seems like a good idea to me.

I carry an organ donor card, and what happens to my corpse when I am done with it is of zero interest to me. Heck, chop it up for cat food, for all I care.

marvin · #5 2006-10-03, 21:44

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Elephantitis Man:

So if you had a dear friend who died, and his family pissed on his body and raped it, you wouldn't be the least bit troubled?

Well, I would think his family members are disgusting perverts, but I wouldn't feel this "dishonors" my friend's memory in any way. And even if it does, he's dead, why should he care about his honor? The whole corpse-fetish doesn't work for me. My best friend committed suicide a while ago, and I seriously wouldn't be angry if someone pissed on his grave.

Elephantitis Man · #6 2006-10-03, 22:20

Nobody believes in honoring the dead anymore.

Source · #7 2006-10-03, 23:05

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Elephantitis Man:

Nobody believes in honoring the dead anymore.

I do! I sort of get what the others are saying about the dead and not caring what happens to their bodys. But I also believe that we should be respecting them and their beliefs because it is what they would have wanted, unless otherwise said by deceased.

marvin · #8 2006-10-03, 23:27

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Source:

...it is what they would have wanted...

But what does it matter? This might seem a bit cold, but I just don't see why I should care about what this person wanted, when he \ she doesn't exist anymore. Who will I be helping by respecting the assumed wishes of dead people? I don't believe in any kind of metaphysical entities that command my respect. If I thought their ghosts were still roaming the Earth, it would be different... but I don't think that's the case.

That being said - if people, in general, feel better knowing that their wills will be respected after their death, I'm fine with that. Personally, I think it's pointless.

Source · #9 2006-10-03, 23:35

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by marvin:

But what does it matter? This might seem a bit cold, but I just don't see why I should care about what this person wanted, when he \ she doesn't exist anymore. Who will I be helping by respecting the assumed wishes of dead people? I don't believe in any kind of metaphysical entities that command my respect. If I thought their ghosts were still roaming the Earth, it would be different... but I don't think that's the case.

That being said - if people, in general, feel better knowing that their wills will be respected after their death, I'm fine with that. Personally, I think it's pointless.

Well if your parents were religious would it not be logical to assume they wanted a religious funeral? Would it kill you to give them one out of respect for what they once were, regardless of whether you believed it was pointless or not?

Elephantitis Man · #10 2006-10-03, 23:35

^ (marvin) Man, it's about symbolism. You don't do it out of respect for their body, or for them, but in memory of them. Like, if you considered their life valuable and it meant something to you. It symbolic of conclusion; makes life's abrupt ending seem less cold. I guess it isn't really about them. It may be for their family, or for their friends, or just for you.

Besides, skipping out on the mourning process can fuck you up psychologically. O_o

[This message has been edited by Elephantitis Man (edited 10-03-2006).]