I used to be an atheist. I loved arguing with religious people and dismissing/laughing at them. It all seemed so simple for me to understand that there was no such thing as a God. "If there is a God, why is there so much grief in the world? Is Satan more powerful than God? What about the dinosaurs?!" (I wasn't that idiotic by the way, I was able to back up my opinions and they seemed so valid.) I used to think that religion was everything that was wrong with the world. Now I realize that it isn't religion, because religion is a beautiful thing, but it is man's interpretation of religion.
I was in an accident recently and something happened to me. In the moments before I would have died, I felt this great presence. Almost as if something intangible was cradling me, taking care of me. That same day, I had this great urge to go to church on the following Sunday. I felt...whole. I felt safe. I felt as if there would always be that presence and it is comforting. I asked for help, I asked for God to guide me and make everything better. I don't see the world like I used to. I don't look around and think about all the terrible things then scoff and say "If there was a God this wouldn't happen".
Now I'm not one of you 'hi-ho-a-dairy-oh' Born-again Christians. I am nothing of the sort. I'm very liberal and I don't care much for the Bible. I think, for the most part, it's just garbage written by man. But I do believe in the concept of a savior. I went to church not because I felt that it was the 'Christian' thing to do, but because being there made me feel well. It was like a safe haven. I was able to feel that presence all over again and be at complete peace with myself and the world around me.
Honestly, I feel like my life is back on track. I wasn't seriously injured, just a few bruises and cuts. The impact was great. I shouldn't be alive. I shouldn't have even gotten off that easy. Now I know some people will say, "well why doesn't this 'god' just help all other people in need as well?" and I don't know the answer to that. I can only give my experience. I'm happy inside and I feel like even through all the bullshit, nothing can hurt me. Maybe it was pure coincidence or luck, but I did feel something. Maybe there is a psychological explanation to it, but I love the feeling of believing in something. It's like a movie. One of those long, swelling, meaningful ones. It gives you a feeling like you want to spin around light posts, and kiss the person sitting next to you. When you're not thinking, it explodes into your head like a firecracker. You've got no inspiration, nowhere to go, and you're living on evidence.
Do I have a point? My point is, I think that people are religious because it makes them feel good. Whether these religions are the true religion or not, they should be practiced with love and for consolation. Not with anger and hate and bigotry. I don't really have one true religion and at times I don't even know what I believe in, but I believe in something miraculous. I don't believe that it should be preached, that seems to turn people off even more. If people need it, it will come to them. In one form or another, it will be there when you feel like there is nothing left.
I swear I'm not high or emo. I just can't explain it well.
[This message has been edited by Guildenstern (edited 01-24-2007).]
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