How to Start a Mafia Family

How to Start a Mafia Family

by Matthew "Lenny the Bookie" Lorenzo

1-Get a crew together, friends from back in the day, some boys you can trust. Get 3-5, and you can start, if you don't know any local Dons or don't live near anybody. You'll have to pick a Don out of your crew.

2-With the Don, He must appoint a UnderBoss,or Capo Bastone - the one he trusts most shouls fill this position.

3-Now the Don should pick a Consigliere,...

How to Smoke in Airplane Lavatories

by DIzzIE

Things to place in your carry-on bag:

*Duct tape
*Bowl (the lighter the better, a simple plastic soup bowl should suffice)
*Novelty Fart Spray (or a spray air-freshener as a weak alternative)
*Portable vacuum cleaner
*Mouthwash/mouth spray
*Your favorite pack of fags

What:
Successfully succumbing to your smoking urges in the luxurious confines of an airplane...

How to Scam Scanners and other Hardware

by DIzzIE

BY: DIzzIE {with help from an anonymous insider} [c]opyleft2002

Introduction

This scam, like many others, requires a good degree of social engineering, hence it is not one for you misanthropic shut-ins, unless you have the charm of someone along the lines of Ted Bundy. The overall layout, the skeletal structure of the scam if you will, is you posing as a repairman/technician, infiltrating...

How to Really Piss Off a Wallgreens or a Dominick's

by Dr. Nitemare

Have you ever been in a drug store, such as Walgreens, and found that you were out of money and really hungry? Or maybe you were just in the mood for some fun. I've always been a mischief fanatic myself, and thought I'd share with you some experiences I've had at Wallgreens and Dominick's.

How many of you have been arrested for shoplifting?

Well, I've never had this unfortunate...

How to Piss Off McDonalds

by Milk Man

1. Walk into any McDonalds (their like chinese ppl>everywhere they shoudnt be) and do the following...

2. Ask the person behind the counter if you can have 1 "Mctesticle Fillet" or one "Mcpenis Fillet".

3. If you want to just piss them off by asking them for a "Mcpizza with extra cheese" or a BK (Burger King) Broiler" This will make them angry and they will say...

How to Piss Off Lunch Ladies

by devils_little_minion

Well this is pretty easy stuff to do.

1. Put pubic hair in your food and make them take it back.
2. Take a hell of a lot mayo or mustard packs right in front of them until they yell at you.
3. Ask why all the fake food is so expensive and when they get mad go what the hell did i do.
4. Get your food and then when you go to pay go crazy and act like you can't find your money.
5. Drop your plate on the floor and spaz

...

How to Piss Off KFC Employees

by Ikilluslo

1. If you queue in a register with a really hot girl, request a 'fillet' of breast, but say it like "Can I please have a 'feel-et' of your breast?"

2. Or if you're really game request a look of one of the lovely lady's thighs.

3. FREE MEAL: When the 'Drive Thru' is really crowded, drive up behind another car and when you get to the service counter just point towards the car in front...

How to Overthrow a Country

by Senator Bunker

Introduction by Someone Else

I've been meaning to write this file for months, but it looks like the good Senator from California has put forth that extra effort I was too lazy to make in putting this together. This is not a humorous article, to bluntly say; it is designed to inform you of proper execution of coup d'etat, that 'stroke of state' that topples governments so often these...

How to Lead a Revolution Against a Teacher

1. Do not listen to anything they say. If they say something repeat after it has been said "What?". This works really well if they have just explained a very long and complicated procedure.

2. If you are playing a game with them for example baseball or cricket always aim the ball at them and if it does in fact hit them deny, deny, deny.

3. Take your time at everything you do. If they shout...

How to Have Fun at Kmart!

by The Daredevil

Well, first off, one must realise the importance of K-Marts in society today. First off, K-Marts provide things cheaper to those who can't afford to shop at higher quality stores. Although, all I ever see in there is minorities and Senior Citizens, and the poor people in our city. Personally, I wouldn't be caught dead in there. But, once, I did.

You see, once, after The Moon Roach and Havoc Chaos (Dear friends...

How to Get Lost

by Chris Masters

If you wanted to dissappear and stay missing here are seven steps to do it.

Step one: change your name. Research newspaper accounts of children dying about the time you were born; note the parents' names and proceed to the Bureau of Vital Statistics to order a copy of the kids birth certificate. Take the birth certificate to the post office and apply for a new Social Security number; if this is a problem, due to new...

How to Get Back at the Asshole Next Door

By Dirt

First either you or your parents always drain the grease from ground beef right?

Well drain it into a soda can for a couple of weeks or until it gets full.

Now stuff a paper towel in the top so it does'nt dry out but not too tight, small creatures need to get a whiff.

Now let's go bowling.

Do they have a back porch or something you can roll it way under? Wait a...

How to Get Anything on Anyone

by Toxic Tunic

Every city has one or more offices dedicated to assigning numbers to the telephone wire pairs. These offices are called DPAC offices and are available to service Reps who are installing or repairing phones.

To get the DPAC number, a service rep would call the old stand-by, customer service number for billing information in the town the number the phone is located in that he is trying to get the unlisted...

How to Fuck with Someone's Car

by midzmasta

iF there is someone who you fucking hate or just wnat to screw with and they have a nice car here is how you fuck with them.

items needed:

1)dozen eggs

2)1/4-1/2 pound of salami and/or boloni

3)blender

4) empty water bottle/ bottle with a top that squirts

First go to your local super market and purchase a dozen eggs, a 1/4-1/2 pound of slami...

How to Fuck Your School Up

by walkon

This works best if you happen to have alot of derelict friends, as I do... your first day of school you should bring the following items, to insure a prosperous school year:

1) fountain pen (and extra ink refills)

2) 3 tubes of super glue (krazy glue)

3) pennies (about $1.00 worth)

4) balloons (small sized for convieniance)

5) mirror (small hand held)...