The big God scam

[UrbnTbone]

yeah, get this: solid proof that God either doesn't exist, or is a swindler.

I prayed so I get a job, never got a decent job though.

Then I'm desperate so I say: God, please, if you give me a decent job, I never touch a woman again.

Then I go back home and find a super hyper mega job offer in my mailbox. You may say, well if you're a woman your mom will think you're ever safe with me. Big mistake! Actually if the letter got in my post right at the time I was closing the deal with god, it had to leave yesterday at least. So this letter was sent before I concluded a deal with God, and I'm gonnawannadonna touch a woman ever again because of that? No WaY The gReAt GoD sWiNdlE ain't gonna get me!!! Is there a pretty vacant around?

Thank you for letting this profound and important topic go its own way if you're gonna post any counter-proof, please refrain, truthe needethst notte to be disturbedth. Word of the lord of unrest.

[Beany]

quote:Originally posted by UrbnTbone:

So this letter was sent before I concluded a deal with God, and I'm gonnawannadonna touch a woman ever again because of that? No WaY The gReAt GoD sWiNdlE ain't gonna get me!!! Is there a pretty vacant around?

Help!!!

[UrbnTbone]

Yes, God listen, cry that again?

[bigtmoney]

I think urbn is either drunk or suicidal. Either way its a win win situtian for everyone else.

[UrbnTbone]

quote:Originally posted by bigtmoney:

I think urbn is either drunk or suicidal. Either way its a win win situtian for everyone else.

Fuck yourself. Win win my ass. I was just being funny. So we don't share the same nonsense of humour you lose losesituation: you didn't have fun yet you wasted time trying to aggravate me. You're either suicidal yourself. Or in some other state that makes you a nasty brat. Be polite with people who fuck you...

[bigtmoney]

I think I have brought the wrath of the almighty urbntbone down on my self. I must repent

[ghoti-blunt]

Ohh you too break it up dont make me slap you both around with my dick.

[UrbnTbone]

It's either you repent and send me a certificate of UTB(TM) repentance seminar, or an international money order for $104 and I grant you total absolution upon reception.

BTW bigtmonk, hey, I'm not THE allmighty, we are a few trade associates. Wanna join? Claim your free franchising brochure today, become a guru and get served first. Fifo (first in first out) basis.

[bigtmoney]

yes i want to join your fucked up cult urbn. Its been my dream for quite sometime.

[This message has been edited by bigtmoney (edited 06-10-2003).]

[UrbnTbone]

officer: "fucked up are thy fidels, Ol'mighty, wise are thy priests who maketh money, OGod of the rich and poor."

choir: blessed the maker of Ol'money, the rich father the gambler son and the holey spirit of cult business.

assistance: Amen amen amen (Amen if this is really god, amen if this is a scam, amen because in any case my money will profit the great Dollar karma and I will derive benefit some day as well.)

Write your checks to UTB (unitarion trade business). Please be aware and don't cross the checks.

Basic enlightenment = £208

Further level for cosmic balance = $336

Integral enlightenment = $10,400

No refunds. Any side effect will be the sucker's fault, not the cult. We are not responsible for suicide, psychiatric trouble, chronic depression or any problem linked to our cult being embraced by unstable followers.

Actually we encourage unstable followers to join and pay for all the initiations and upgrades, in advance with a 5% rebate but again, no refund.

If the follower melts a fuse before the taking effect of all his/her initiations, they will have the choice between forsaking their yet non-effective upgrades, or having them taking effect by default. This is an exclusive feature of our cult, you need no print material, physical presence or any outer sign of the initiation.

Initiation takes place automatically as soon as your payment is received, cashed and laundered. So you will benefit of a 10% discount for cash, and experience has shown the strongest way for cult power to reach your most inner soul, is by paying cash.

It is logical BTW, since cash is the paying pattern that causes the most evident pleasure in the person of our great guru, thus providing the follower with the deepest karmic response and quality of initiation.

We don't persecute cult apostates, provided they pay £10,000 for profane world rights. We understand that even the profane world rests on our guru's shoulders, so it is well understood that profane secular life has to be bought back before you leave us.

You will receive a certificate if paid by cheque or CC.

If paid cash, 5% discount but no receipt.

For our independant MLM distributor venture, contact your agent:

uTb aSSoCiaTes of Higher and LowER Languedoc-Roussillon reunited, Carcassonne, France. This is for real.

Do your poor soul a favor:

pick the right guru! Now on special!