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Da ART of Burging

by BaKiE


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YO! Ya guyz probly remeber me from my tiggity "How to get booze... the easy, leagle way" text file. Well i know u wanted some more shit to do when u get bored, so now im bringin it to ya!

WHAT IZ BURGING?

Burging is like being a burglar, without all da police and worry and money (too bad). Burging is simply going into some random persons house, and taking only a few things. Let me explain...

HOW TO BURG!!!

First of all, u need to find out if the person iz home. If ur and adult, ring the doorbell. If sombody comes to the door ask if they want to buy a subscription to "Incest Weekly", just so theyll say no. Then pick another house. If ur a teenager like me, you can just say "Does Borris live here". Theyll say no, unless you live in Russia.

So nobodys home...

Well now heres were da action begins. Open the door (i would suggest only burgging in suburban areas, becuase if u go into an apartment and a drug dealer or sumthin lives there, ur in trouble. And people who live in apartments are more likley to lock there doors). If the alarm goes off, dont worry... Jus run the fuck outta dere and u wont get in trouble. Now dat ur inside take a look around. Do anything u want! pretend itz ur house until u leave. Steal watever is interesting to u. But nothing of value... cuz theyll call the cops. if they left some money sitting out, take it. Take all there booze. See, if they call the pigz (cops) and say "Im missing $20 and some Makers Mark" the popo's will just have sum guy interview them. Most people wont call the cops. Theyll jus asoom the missplaced something, or there kid did it, and heel be in trouble. Its fun to have a friend over and enjoy some reall old ass expensive Krystal (shampane)and get drunk. Remeber, u can take anything u would like, Juss dont make it valuable, cuz u could get pinched if you do!!!

WHY SHOULD I IF IM NOT GONNA MAKE A TON OF MONEY???

Burging iz most about the andrenline rush than any thing elese. Its great to be in there. Next to sex, its the greatest feeling ever. Ur just living sombody elses life, acutally, more like destroying some bodys life, as youll read next...

BURGING PRANKS!

1. Piss an shit on there furniture!

2. Put pornography on the bed, when the persons wife comes home, the man will be in deep shit!

3. Bust a nut on the bed.

4. Slip some lingerie into a drawer.

5. Make love letters and put them in a shoe box. Put the shoebox somwere out in da open were somebody will open it. Draw a heart on the shoe box for an extra effect.

6. Burn some hemp incence in a teenagers room.

7. Stain the carpets somehow.

8. Hide one shoe in a pair.

9. Bend a really expencive peice of jewlery.

10. Get on there master screen name and order all kinds or sex toys to the house.

11. Call expencive sex lines (the operaters will also call them back all day)

12. Piss in there refriderator.

13. Turn of the freezer so everything will melt.

14. Put empty condom pacages everywere.

15. Erase there hard drive.

16. Turn there stereos to max volume and max bass.

17. Order really expencive paperveiw movies and porno flicks.

18. Clog all there toilets.

19. Buy a lot of rats and let them free in the house.

20. Clog there hosese with alka seltzer and tape the ends.

RULES FOR BURGING

1. Dont ever break anything large, (windows, walls, t.v.s, computers)

2. Dont ever burg the same house twice (unless the house is alwsome and u dont do any thing bad or wait 3 months)

3. Dont burg a house of sombody u know!

4. Dont ever dress up in a ski mask or sumthin. Look regular. Never dress suspiciously!

5. NEVER GET CAUGHT!!!

FOLLOWING

I've been burging 4 bout two yearz. I recently saw this movie, and it has stuff a lot like burging in it. I came up with my form by myself, and made up the name. Itz a lil different in da movie.

THANX

Peace out my PeOpLe and remember rule 5. CeEz Ya...

BaKiE BaKiE Fo BaKie Fo Eva

 
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