The Complete Idiot's Guide to Rolling
by One Crazy Mutha
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Lazy Mutha F**kers go to bottom of page and read note.
ok, before we get started there are a few things you are going to need:-
Rolling paper- I suggest Blue Slim Rizzla's. you can buy these for about 70p at the newsagents (you know, that shop on the corner)
Roach material- this will be a piece of green card found at the back of the Rizzlas
Blem- the tobacco you will mix with the weed to make your zoot*, also found at the newsagents.
Weed- an essential ingrediant for putting in your zoot, don't get confused though, it's not normal weeds like the ones in your garden. Go to your local dealer and ask for a tenz of weed, this will cost £10, hence the name.
lighter- Its the little tube thingy with a round bit and a button which when clicked creates a pretty, burny thing.
Great, now you have all of the appropriate material infront of you we can begin.
Step 1. Open the rizzla packet and take out one sheet of paper. examine the paper and you will find on one edge of the paper there is a shiny bit, cup the paper in the Rizzla packet with the shiny bit facing you.
Now rip of a small section of the Roach material and roll it up real small and tight then place it on one end of the Rizzla paper.
Step 2. Scatter some blem on the Rizzla, don't use too much because you still need to add the weed don't cover up the roach with it either, just two or three good pinches will do.And dont eat any of it!
Step 3. ok nearly there, I know all this reading is making your head hurt but its worth it. Crumble up the weed and add it to the blem, if you are holding a brown block of resin then you have bought ash and will need to burn it a bit with the lighter then crumble it into your blem using your index finger and thumb.
try not to set your hands alight at this stage, dear God.
Step 4. Right, this is a triky bit, pick up the rizzla very carfully by pinching each end and folding it in half using both hands, try not to spill any of the contents. Move the paper in an up down motion so that the weed and blem mix together and bond a bit. Use your thumbs to roll the paper firmly at any parts
where there is too much of a build up of the mixture, this will spread it out better. Now roll the paper
tightly around the roach and curl the non shiny edge of the paper round the inside of the Zoot.
Step 5. You have managed to get this far, well done. Now you have to lick the shiny bit, not too much, don't drool on it, just make it damp. Then wrap the paper around and stick it down. Now lightly tap the zoot on the roach end on a table or flat surface to make all of the contents fit nicley inside and twist the end of the paper where it's empty.
Congratulations, you have just rolled a Zoot, if you are lucky it will even be smokable! Keep up the practice and you will be a pro in no time.
*This guide was written in England, Lewisham (south East London). Zoot is colloquial for Joint, spliff or riffa.
Note: Buy a bong, Idiots Guide coming out soon. And for Gods Sake get dressed!
08/07/03~~03:45~~written by somone too stoned and too young.
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