Cannabis for the Gentleman Smoker: A Proper Treatise

by Rabid Tangerine

Over my years of smoking, I've noticed that many people aren't familiar with the basic manners of proper cannabis indulgence. When it comes to the smoking of the finer strains of kind bud, nugget, dank, what have you, there are certain rules, or manners that are quite often overlooked by a large portion of the more sporadic smokers. Problem is, even some seasoned smokers do not observe proper manners. I would like to take the time now to present to you these basic manners, and later elaborate on some other "house rules" I've encountered over the years. I will try as hard as I can to refrain from using the word "rules." It's too confining, and these are generally not set in stone, but failure to observe them could later result in embarassment on the behalf of the un-mannered. I will break this down into sections, as I plan on going quite in depth into this. It may seem a little superfluous to do this, but if proper precautions are taken, it will result in a more enjoyable experience for all involved. Most of the later manners I will present to you do not apply to lower quality types of cannabis (schwag), except where otherwise stated.

Section 1: The Preparations

<> Before the smoking can even commence, one should ensure that all participants are already present, and are prepared for the impending indulgence. To begin smoking or preparations before all are present (without proper warning) may result in the disappointment of those who are slightly too late.

<> You should always make sure you know who is going to partake beforehand. It is very unkind to leave anyone who may be smoking out of the circle, even if it's unintentional.

<> Fine nuggets that lack seeds should never be broken up before being placed into the pipe or bong. Instead, use your fingers or a pair of scissors to snip/pinch off what looks like the proper amount for everyone, leaving behind as much stem as possible. I can't remember the reason for this, but rest assured that it is a common practice among almost all smoking circles.

<> If there are any tobacco smokers in the room, ensure that they have put out their cigarettes before the smoking begins. Of course, the smell of burning cannabis is far more inviting than that of tobacco, and it's probably much healthier for a person to only be smoking one thing at a time. Not a very common manner, but one that once adopted in a circle, is almost always observed.

<> It's a great idea to establish a rotation pattern among your circle, and observe that rotation each time. For some groups, passing left is law, while others find that right is righteous. This one may be purely optional, but some (such as myself) find a regular, consistent rotation pattern to be comforting.

Section 2: Before Lighting Up, and Discussion on How One Should Light Up.

<> I have had many discussions with my friends on who should get the first greens. This is a manner that is surrounded with much controversy. While most believe it should ALWAYS be the one who provided the cannabis to light first, there are other options as well. The one who loaded the bowl or rolled one up may be expected to take the first, or either of these people in question may give the piece to the person of their preference. One thing to remember, however, is that in the case of smoking in one's house where that person is going out of his way to provide a safe smoking zone, he should be given preference to take the first (if he smokes) or give it to the person of his preference.

<> When the time comes to finally spark that sumbitch up, one should always light the bowl from the side, lighting only one small portion of the weed. This is done by placing the flame right alongside the bowl, and sucking the flame right between the bowl and the bud. There are many reasons for this. The first and most apparently obvious is that doing this ensures that everyone in the circle gets to taste the greens. In addition to this, one avoids torching the entire bowl, which can be a waste of the cannabis, and in most cases completely destroys the flavor of the buds. It doesn't end here. Smoking a bowl this way (side to side instead of top to bottom) seems to make the bowl last longer and burn less harshly, which is a benefit for all involved.

<> Once all in the circle have tasted the greens (tasty:) then one may smoke the bowl to their discretion, though (like I said above) smoking side to side seems most preferable.

<> If the bowl becomes "cherried," or smokes and burns without assistance from the lighter, one should try to hit it before the cherry dies. This is far more economical for the bud as opposed to trying to burn something which is already burning.

<> Of course, smoking continues until there is nothing left to consume, which brings us up to our next section.

Section 3: Disposal

<> There is only one real rule here. The person who completes, or "cashes" the bowl should be responsible for the emptying of the ashes into the proper receptacle. If another bowl is to be smoked, then that person should also give the piece to the one that is loading, or of course, offer to load one himself. If another is not to be smoked, the casher should be relied on (if he knows where it goes) to put the piece back where it belongs, or give it to the one who owns it, either is perfectly acceptable.

<> After smoking is completed, the one who provided the cannabis should always be thanked, unless that person becomes embarassed or umcomfortable about such things, or are just so damn cool about it in the first place that it doesn't even matter:)

Section 4: General Observations

<> In almost all cases, whomever is providing the home or domicile in which you are smoking should, in most cases, also be prepared to offer his food as the inevitable munchies set in. This isn't a requirement at all, but is a very kind and proper gesture

<> Under no circumstances should one spill the bowl, cough through the bowl, or lose what's left in the bowl through any means. Reasons for this are quite obvious, and should go without discussion.

<> This one gets it's own rule: NEVER, EVER! Spill the bong or bubbler water on the floor. This is a serious smoker faux pas, and that stuff can get stinky REALLY fast. If you do spill, be prepared to be in charge of clean-up.

<> Only take as big of a hit as you can handle. It is fully possible (and preferable) to "get off" without the cough. Trying to look like a big man by taking more than you can handle just results in a loud coughing fit, a mushroom cloud of wasted smoke, and may result in the spilling of the bowl (see above).

<> If in a car (it's inevitable), the passenger should be prepared to take the wheel if the driver can't smoke and drive at the same time. It's a very good skill to have in the first place, passenger driving. You never know when an emergency might happen:)