Economize Your Weed! Smoke Poppers!

by Dustbuster

Smoking Poppers

Now, before I get started, I want to clear up any misconceptions surrounding my use of the word poppers. Upon mentioning poppers to people at parties, I’ve gotten unexpected responses like “Isn’t that the stuff gay guys huff right before they get off?” So, that being said, I don’t know what kind of other weird shit people are calling poppers, and frankly, I don’t want to know. What I’m talking about in this piece is simply another method of smoking your weed. Some people call it the crack version of weed, because you’re getting as stoned as possible of a minimal amount of Buddha.

It’s an economic and safe way to smoke your weed anywhere, without getting popped for the smell.

I started smoking poppers in college, because in the residence I lived in, you would be instantly evicted if someone of authority so much as caught a wiff of that sweet smelling herb. Being that I’m a chronic budsmoker, and I lived in room 101 (which meant I could spit out my door and hit the front desk guy) I was faced with a bit of a conundrum. I couldn’t NOT smoke weed; trust me, nobody likes me when I haven’t had my daily dose of vitamin THC, and for good reason: I turn into one cranky motherfucker, that can fly into a fit of rage at any second. This isn’t something I’m proud of, it’s just the way it is.

Anyhow, enough background and arcane rambling. We had to find a way to smoke weed, without making a stink about it. That’s when a kind soul with the same affliction as me introduced me to my saving grace: The popper bottle. The popper bottle operates on the same basic principle as a water bong, and in many ways, that’s precisely what it is. It’s just a few slight variations that make smoking poppers what it is.

Here's how you make your popper bottle

What you need

1. A pop bottle (plastic, 500 ml size works good, although the bottle you use is really up to you. Those little rev bottles work pretty good, too)
2. A galvanized steel nipple, 3/8 inch diameter by 3 inch length – Basically just a steel tube, like the stem in your bong. You can find them at the hardware store, either in lighting or plumbing. What kind of tube it is really doesn’t matter, as long as the dimensions are the same.
3. Electrical tape

What you're going to do

1. Take your empty bottle, and burn a hole that is just slightly smaller than your tube. The hole should be just below the centre of the bottle
2. While the hole is still hot, twist your steel tube through it. This helps you to get a more airtight seal. The tube should be on as steep of an angle as you can get it.
3. Check your bottle for air tightness by plugging the end of the tube with your thumb and sucking through the top of the bottle. If you can hear air coming through, then your popper bottle still needs work. A small amount of glue from a glue gun around the hole will help to seal up the leak. Wrap electrical tape around the bottle and the hole until no more air is getting through.
4. Pour water into the bottle. The water line should be above the bottom end of the tube, but below the hole in the bottle. This is the point where many of you are saying “This putz is just writing instructions on how to make a bong” but bear with me. The popper bottle is very similar to a bong, yet different. Basically, your popper bottle is going to look like a cheap homemade bong, with no bowl.

Packing Poppers

1. Rip off a little chunk off of the end of a cigarette, paper and all. The chunk should be small enough to fit in the end of the steel tube without totally plugging it up, but big enough that it won’t fall through right away. This is your plug.
2. Next, ball up a little bit of that sweet green sticky stuff (about twice as much as the piece of tobacco you just put in there) and pack it into the tube, forcing the tobacco down further.
3. Put the bottle to your lips, and put a lighter to the weed. Keep the lighter lit the whole time-this is crucial. Suck really slowly at first, if you try to rush it, your popper won’t pop.
4. As you burn the weed, it will start to ball up some more and form a good cherry. Remember, keep your lighter on it. When the whole thing looks good and toasty, suck back with all you’ve got. The bottle will make an audible POP,(hence the name) as the whole works will shoots through the tube and into the water, creating a rush of air through the tube that will clear the bottle into your lungs, giving you one mean hit.
5. Exhale out the window, or through a toilet paper roll stuffed with bounce sheets.

Because all of the smoke was first trapped in the bottle, then your lungs, with no excess wafting away, there is virtually no tell-tale aroma.

It took me forever to finally give in and smoke these things with my buddies, because I was put off by the cigarette in it. I was always a firm believer in not tarnishing my sweet weed with dirty tobacco. BUT GET OVER THAT!!!!! Once you get the art of poppers mastered, you will understand why. I get twice as stoned off of half the weed when I smoke poppers, and that’s the truth. I don’t even bother with any other methods now, because nothing hits the spot quite like a good popper. You’ll see once you get it figured out; two or three poppers (which works out to maybe 1/10 of a gram) is enough to set you on your ass nicely.

Just an aside: This method originated in a shitty little town called Orangeville, Ontario, and has spread like wildfire across southern Ontario. Once people learn how to smoke poppers, they never go back!!!