Telling Your Parents That You Smoke Weed

by Miki

There are some advantages to be gained by confessing to your parents that you're a toker, depending on how you think they'll take it. My dad, for instance. I told my dad that I smoke pot, and his response was "we should get high together sometime". Of course, my parents might not be like your parents. If you think they're more likely to confiscate all of your weed paraphernelia and send you to the funny farm, not telling them would probably be the wisest choice. However, if your parents are relatively open-minded and hopefully experimented themselves when they were young, you can end up with benefits like being able to smoke in your room, or share experiences with your parents and the like.

Approaching them can be difficult. Try to catch them at a time when they're not liable to freak the hell out (no Monday mornings, not after your mom gets laid off of her job). Open with something along the lines of "I have something to tell you, but I don't want you to get angry until after you hear me out. I'm doing this because I want to be able to be honest with you guys and come to you when I need to talk." Parents love hearing that their kids want an open, honest relationship with them, even if it's all bullshit.

Now for the actual content of your argument. Basically, cover these very important points.

• "I use it in moderation, because I know that even though it's not physically addictive, it can be habit-forming".
• "I never use it as an 'escape' or to help me get to sleep, etc., because that could potentially make it habit-forming as well".
• "I did all of my research on it first, so I'd know what I was getting into."
• "I never go to school or do homework when I'm stoned, nor do I wander around in public".
• "I always use my best judgement, and I don't talk to strangers, hang out with members of the opposite sex, drive, etc."
• "I never do it around my siblings or friends who don't already smoke pot, because I think they should make the choice for themselves and not have to deal with peer pressure about it."
• "I understand that it's illegal, but I'm a teenager! All teenagers experiment like this. Didn't YOU do it when you were my age?" (Only use that one if they confront you on the fact that what you're doing is against the law. If not, leave it out of the conversation, because it's somewhat of a weak argument, but a decent rebuttal.)

Hopefully, you'll be able to win them over by heading them off with these responsible statements, before they can interject with something like "See, the reason I don't like marijuana is _________", even if none of those statements above hold true for you. Good luck and happy toking.

-Miki.