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Contains all lyrics to Wierd Al's albums: Off the
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"Weird Al" Yankovic (TM) Multi-Purpose Song List/Lyrics
Composed Entirely by Bob and Doug Makenzie of the Great White North
(Canada) and Mister Yak. Like we're not with any BBS eh.. So like,
we just want brew... Yeah, beauty.
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A little Canadian Humor...
`Coo roo coo coo coo cooo coo coooo.... /---@---\
/\ / \ <- Thats a toque!
Call of the Great white North... |C A N A D A| (pronounced took)
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Ok eh, like we've got all these cool songs eh so.. Hope they come to a good
use!
Songs in this DOC:
Album Songs
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Off the Deep End Smells Like Nirvana
Trigger Happy
I can't Watch this
Polka Your Eyes Out
I Was Only Kidding
The White Stuff
When I was Your Age
Taco Grande
Airline Amy
The Plumbing Song
You Don't Love me Anymore
Alapalooza Jurassic Park
Young, Dumb & Ugly
Bedrock Anthem
Frank's 2000" TV
Achy Breaky Song
Traffic Jam
Talk Soup
Livin In The Fridge
She Never Told Me She Was A Mime
Harvey The Wonder Hampster
Waffle King
Bohemian Polka
Dare To be Stupid Like A Surgeon
Dare To Be Stupid
I Want A New Duck
One More Minute
Yoda
George Of The Jungle
Slime Creatures From Outer Space
Girls Just Want To Have Lunch
This Is The Life
Cable TV
Hooked On Polkas
"Wierd Al" Yankovic's Fat
Greatest Hits Eat It
Like A Surgeon
Ricky
Addicted to Spuds
Living With A Hernia
Dare To Be Stupid
Lasagna
I Lost On Jeopardy
One More Minute
"Weird Al" Yankovic's Headline News
Greatest Hits Vol. 2 Bedrock Anthem
You Don't love me Anymore
Smells Like Nirvana
Achy Breaky Song
UHF
Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies
Jurassic Park
This is the Life
Polka your Eyes Out
Yoda
Christmas at Ground Zero
UHF Sound Track Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies
Gandhi II
Attack of the Radioactive Hamsters from a
Planet Near Mars
Isle Thing
The Hot Rocks Polka
UHF
Let me be your Hog
She Drives like Crazy
Generic Blues
Spatula City
Fun Zone
Spam
The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota
Ok... Now for what your REALLY interested in.. Wierd Al Song Lyrics!
Smells Like Nirvana
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Parody of Smells Like Teen Spirit
by K. Cobain/Nirvana
What is this song all about?
Can't figure any lyrics out
How do the words to it go?
I wish you'd tell me I don't know
Don't know, don't know, don't know, Oh no,
Don't know, don't know, don't know...
Now I'm mumblin, and I'm screaming,
Still I don't know, what I'm singing,
Crank the volume, ears are bleeding,
I still don't know, what I'm singing,
We're so loud and, incoherent,
Boy this otta, bug your parents,
Yeah!
(Bass cords) Dumm dumm dumm dumm dumm POINGG!
(Bass cords) Dumm dumm dumm dumm dumm BELLCH!
It's unintel-ligable,
I just can't get it through my skull,
It's hard to (distorted) barff, Nargle zouss,
With all these marbles in my mouth,
Don't know, don't know, don't know, Oh no,
Don't know, don't know, don't know...
Well we don't sound, like Madonna,
Here we are now, we're Nirvana,
Sing distinctly, we don't wanna,
Buy our album, we're Nirvana,
A garage band, from Seattle,
Boy it sure beats, raising cattle,
Yeah!
(Bass cords) Dumm dumm dumm dumm dumm MOOOOO!
(Bass cords) Dumm dumm dumm dumm dumm BAAAAA!
(Music Calms)
And I forgot the next verse,
Oh well, I guess it pays to reherse,
The lyric sheets so hard to find,
What are the words oh never mind,
Don't know, don't know, don't know, Oh no,
Don't know, don't know, don't know...
Well I'm yelling, and we're playing,
But I don't know, what I'm saying,
Whats the message, I'm conveying,
Can you tell me, what I'm saying?
So have you got, some Idea?
Didn't think so, well I'll seeya,
Sayonara, Sayonara, ayonawa, odinawa,
odinaya, yodinaya, yaddayadda, yaaahyaaah,
ayaaaaaaah (trails off to a screech..)
Trigger Happy
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By A. Yankovic
Got an AK-47, well ya know it makes me fell allright,
Got an uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night,
Theres no feeling any greater than to,
Shoot first and ask questions later,
Now I'm, Trigger Happy, Trigger happy everyday.
Well you can't take my guns away I've got a constitutional right,
Yeah I gotta be ready if the commies attack us at night,
I'll blow there brains out with my Smith and Wesson,
That otta teach them all a darn good lesson,
Now I'm, trigger happy, trigger happy everyday.
CHORUS
Oh yeah I'm trigger, trigger happy, yes I'm
Trigger, trigger happy, Oh baby I'm trigger,
Trigger happy, yes I'm, Trigger, trigger happy,
Oh I'm so trigger, trigger happy, yes I'm,
Trigger, trigger happy, better watch out punk,
Or I'm gonna have to blow you away.
Oh I accidentally shot daddy last night in the den,
I mistook him in the dark for a gun crazed nazi again,
Now why'd you have to get so mad?
It was just a lousy flesh wound dad,
You know I'm, trigger happy, trigger happy everyday.
CHORUS
Come on and grab your ammo,
What have you got to loose?
We'll get all liquered up,
And shoot at anything that moves!
Got a brand new semi automatic weapon with a laser sight!
Oh, I'm praying somebody tries to break in here tonight.
I always keep a magnum in my trunk,
You better ask yourself do you feel lucky punk?
Because I'm trigger happy, trigger happy everyday.
CHORUS fade to end.
I Can't Watch This
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Parody of U Can't Touch This
by James/Miller/Hammer
I can't watch this, I can't watch this,
I can't watch this, I can't watch this,
My my my my TV makes me, so bored,
Makes me say, oh my lord.
What is this garbage here?
Want to cover my eyes and plug my ears,
It sucks, and thats no lie,
It's about as much fun as watching paint dry,
Lowers my, IQ one notch, and thats the reason why (Uh!) I can't watch.
I told you homeboy, I can't watch this,
Yeah nothing but trash and ya know,
I can't watch this,
Poke out my eyes man, I can't watch this,
Yeah give me that remote control...I can't watch this,
Talkin bout, sick shows,
Like America's funniest home videos,
I can't, believe my eyes,
When I see the kinda stuff that wins first prize,
Somebody's, poor old mom,
Falls down off the roof lands right on the lawn,
Face first, on a rake,
I hear they got it on the seventeenth take,
That's funny, as a kick in the crotch,
And thats the kinda show (uh!) I can't watch.
Yo I told you... I can't watch this,
Change the channel now man, I can't watch this,
Yo pass the TV guide sucker...I can't watch this.
Crosby show, and Roseanne,
Think I've taken bout as much as I can,
Judge Woppner, Oh my,
You gotta be rainman to like this guy,
Thirty-Something, Is allright,
If you like hearing yuppies whining all night,
Can't stand, Twin peaks,
I wish they'd linch those dognut eating freaks,
Those Siskel, and Eibert bums,
Otta go and just sit on there thumbs.
That's word because you know, I can't watch this..
I can't watch this, break it down!
(Spoken by various commercial advertising voices)_
Here's how to order-money back guarantee-removes
tough stains fast-it tastes more like fresh peanuts
-They keep going and going-don't hate me because I'm
beautifull-could be dandruff-our prices are innnnsane!
Stop! Prime-time.
I'm pretty sure, I'll be sick,
If I have to watch another stupid pet trick,
And that guy, with the real flat hair,
That goes, Woof woof woof and waves his fist in the air,
And those wierd, talk shows,
About transvestite nazi eskimoos,
They're rude, crude and vial,
Just for a sec lets flip down the dial,
Flip flip flip, Ewwwww, I can't watch this.
Look man, I can't watch this,
I can't take this torture no more, I can't...
I can't watch this,
Pay the bills, station break,
Break it down!
Operators are standing by-cubic zurconium necklace-
Your soaking in it and-our swimsuit issue-when you've
Got a headache this big-read the book-this is your brain on
Drugs-Ive fallen and I can't get up
Stop! Cable time!
HBO and playboy, showtime and MTV,
I might like it more after my labotamy,
Now why did I ever, Pay for this junk?
I hooked up eighty channels, and each one stunk,
Just mindless blood and guts, and mindless T & A,
It's aweful, it's putrid, it's crumby, it's stupid,
Gonna throw my set away, can't watch this.
I Can't watch this, I can't watch this,
I can't watch this, yeah, I can't watch this,
To hip, can't watch this, Get me outta here,
I can't watch this.
Polka Your Eyes Out
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Arranged by A. Yankovic
(Many bits of songs.. Too many
to list!)
Rock the cradle of love, rock the cradle of love,
Yes the cradle of love, don't rock easy it's true,
Rock the cradle of love, I rocked the cradle of love,
Yes the cradle of love, don't rock easy it's true.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo,
The love shack is a little old place where, we can get together,
Love shack baby, love shack baby love shack, HEY!
Pump up the jam (HEY) Pump up the jam (Hey)
Pump up the jam pump it up!
Thats me in the corner, thats me in the spot, light,
Losing my religion, trying to keep a view,
But I don't know if I can do it,
OH NO! I said too much, haven't said enough,
The things, you say,
Your purple prose just gives you away,
The things, you say, Your unbelievable,
(OH!)
Do me baby, Do me baby,
You can do me in the morning you can do me in the night,
You can do me when you want to do me,
Yodlelayhehoo!
Exit light,
Enter night,
Take my hand,
We're off to never never land.
The humpty dance is you chance to do the hump.
Do me baby, do the humpty hump, do the humpty hump.
Do me baby, do the humpty hump, Come on and do the humpty hump.
She's my cherry pie, got a smile on her face, ten miles wide,
Looks so good make a grown man cry, sweet cherry pieyiyi!
Woo! (spoken) DRUM SOLO!
I miss you much, M-O-I miss you much,
I really miss you much, M-O-I miss you much,
I miss you much, M-O-I miss you much,
I really miss you much. HEY!
I don't want, anybody else,
When I think about you I touch myself,
Oh, I don't want, anybody else,
Oh no, oh no, oh no no no!
He's the one they call Dr. Feel,
He's the one that makes you feel all right,
He's the one they call dr. Feel good,
He's gonna feed your frankenstein,
Let's kick it,
If you got a problem, Yo, I'll solve it,
Check out the beat while the D.J. revolves it,
Ice ice baby,
Ice ice baby, word to your mother!
Ice ice baby,
Ice ice baby forever,
I'll be your ice, Ice, Baby!
Hey!
I Was Only Kidding
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By A. Yankovic.
When I said that I'de be faithfull,
When I promised I'de be true.
When I swore that I could never,
Be with anyone but you.
When I told you that I loved you,
With those tender words you spoke,
I was only kidding, can't you take a joke?
When I said that I need you baby,
When I told you that I really care,
When I said that I can't live without you,
When I said I'de follow you anywhere.
When I said you could always trust me,
When I said I'de never leave you flat,
Well guess what?! I was only kidding baby,
I can't believe you fell for that,
Your so gulible,
I was only kidding, I was only KIDDING!?
I was only kidding, You thought that was for real?
I was only kidding, Now I'm sorry that you misunderstood
But the fact remains
I was only kidding, I was only kidding,
I was only kidding, Baby baby I was,
Only Kidding,
Well I guess I got you pretty good, Now listen,
When I said that I love you baby,
From the very bottom of my heart,
When I said that I miss you so badly,
Every second that we are apart.
When I swore that your just getting more and more,
Beautifull, everyday,
Well I was only kidding honey,
Whats the matter with you anyway?
Let me tell you something...
I was only kidding, I was only kidding,
I was only kidding, You understand don't ya?
I was only kidding, I know it probably hurts you alot but ya gotta know,
I was only kidding, I was only kidding,
I was only kidding, Come on now, get a clue,
I was only kidding, I really LOVE you!
NOT!
When I said you otta marry me,
When I said that we should settle down,
I was just pulling your leg there honey,
I was just fooling around, You see I,
I never meant to upset you darlin,
I never meant to hurt anyone,
I was only kidding baby,
Come on now why not put down that gun
(spoken) Lets talk this over,
I was only kidding, I was only kidding,
I was only kidding, Watch where you pointing that thing,
I was only kidding, Hey, I'm sorry if your heart is broke,
You gotta realize,
I was only kidding, awww yeah, I was only kidding,
Now honey can't you take a joke?!
I was only kidding, I was only kidding,
I was only kidding, I was only kidding,
I was only kidding, I was only kidding,
I was only kidding, I didn't LIE to ya,
I was only kidding, Yes indeed,
I was only kidding, Baby baby you know,
I was only kidding, Hey!
The White Stuff
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Parody of You Got It (The right stuff)
by M. Starr
The White stuff, the white stuff,
The first one was a sweet one,
The second one was a blast,
Soon I finished off the bag, ate em up real fast,
You could see them in my teeth,
Tell it when I talk,
Got so much in my panchreas just went into shock,
I love the white stuff, baby.
I the middle of an oreo,
I love the white stuff, baby,
It's the most delicious thing I know.
I've had a zillion or two, in my life,
They're so right, my teeth are all rotted clear through,
But who cares? What else am I supposed to do?
Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oreo,
Oh oh oh oh oh, the white stuff.
Oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oreo.
Whats in the middle? The white stuff.
The first time that I tried it, got a big sugar buzz,
Now nothing gets me high as that sandwich cookie does,
But I love the filling most, I rub it on my roast,
Mix it in with my coffee and spread it on my toast
I love the white stuff, Baby.
In the middle of an oreo.
I love the white stuff, baby,
Take some with me everywhere I go.
Might get a pimple or two,
Well so what? It's all right,
Not twinkies or dingdongs will do,
All I need, You know what it is,
Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oreo,
Oh oh oh oh oh, the white stuff,
Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oreo,
Oh oh oh oh oh, the white stuff,
Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oreo,
Whats in the middle? The White stuff.
When I was Your Age
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By A. Yankovic
Let me tell you sonny, let me set you straight,
You kids today aint never had it rough.
Always had everything handed to you on a silver plate,
You lazy brats aint nothing good enough.
Well, nobody ever drove me to school when it was 90 degrees below,
Had to walk but naked, through forty miles of snow,
Worked in the coal mine 22 hours a day for just half a cent,
Had to sell my internal organs, just to pay the rent,
CHORUS
When I was your age, When I was you age,
When I was your age, When I was you age,
Let me tell you something, you whiny little snot,
Theres something wrong with all you kids today,
You don't appreciate all the things you got,
We were hungry, broke and miserable and we like it fine that way.
There were 73 of us living in a cardboard box,
All we got got Christmas, was a lousy bag of rocks,
Every night for dinner we had a big old chunk of dirt,
If we were really good, we didn't get desert.
CHORUS
Didn't have no telephone, didn't have no fax machine,
All we had was couple cans and a crumby piece of string,
Didn't have no swimming pool when I was just a lad,
Our neighbours septic tank was the closest thing we had,
Didn't have no dental floss had to use old rusty nails,
Didn't have Nintendo, we just poured salt on snails,
Didn't have no waterbed we had to sleep on broken glass,
Didn't have no lawnmower we used our teethe to cut the grass,
Whats the matter now sonny, you say you don't believe this junk,
You say my story's wearing kind of thin?
I'll tell you one thing, I never was such a disrespectfull punk,
Back in my day, we had a thing called disapline.
Dad would whoop us every night till a quarter after twelve,
Then he'd get too tired, and make us whoop ourselves,
Then he'd chop me into pieces and play frisbe with my brain,
Let me tell ya junior, you never heard me complain,
CHORUS
Taco Grande
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Parody of Rico Suave
by G. Mejia/C. Warren
Taco... Grande. Taco... Grande.
Yo quira chimichagas y chile colorado
Yo tengo et dinero para un steak picado
Las flautas y tamales, siempre, muy bueno,
Y et chile relleno.
You see, I just gotta have a tostada, carne asada,
That's right I want to whole enchalada,
My only addiction has to do with a flour tortia,
I need a quesadilla.
I love to stuff my face with almonds al carbon,
With my friends or when I'm all alone,
Yo tengo mucho hambre y ahora lo quiero,
Un burrito ranchero.
So give me something spicy nd hot now,
Break out the menu what you got now?
Oh would you tell the waiter I'de like to have sour cream on the side?
You better make sure the beans are re-fried.
Taco... Grande. Taco... Grande
Well theres not a taco big enough for a man like me,
Thats why I order 2 or 3,
Let me give you a tip, just try a nacho chip,
Its really good bean dip.
I eat unos, dos, tres, quatro burritos,
pretty soon I can't fit in my speedo's,
Well I hope they feed us lots of chicken fahitas,
and a pitcher of margaritas.
Well the combination plate is filled with beans and rice,
The taquiotos here are very nice.
Now I'm down on my knees I need some extra potatoes and cheese,
And could you make that seperate checks please.
Taco... Grande. Taco... Grande.
Well the food is coming I can hardly wait,
Now watch your fingers careful hot plate,
What do you think your doing with my chile con quesso?
If you want some just say so.
Oh Boy. Pico de Gallo!
They sure don't make it like this in Ohio,
No gracias, yo querio jalapenos nada mas,
You can toss away the hot sauce,
Donde estan los nachos? Holy friholie!
You better get me a bowl of guacamole.
Y usted? Eugene, Why's you face tuning green?
Don't you like pinto bean?
You want some more cinnamon crispas,
If you don't hasta la vista,
Just take the rest home in a doggy bag if ya wanna,
You can finish it manana.
Well it's been a pleasure I can eat no more,
Senor la cuenta pr favor,
If you aint ever a real mexican cooking well you otta,
Just don't drink the water.
Taco... Grande. Taco... Grande
Taco... Grande. Taco... Grande
Airline Amy
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By A. Yankovic.
Met this pretty young stewardes on a non stop flight,
She showed me to my seet and it was love at first sight,
Now lately I've been flying to all sorts of places
That I never really wanted to go,
I'll do anything just to spend a little time,
With the cutest flight attendant I know, oh,
CHORUS
You set my ever lovin heart on fire, Airline Amy,
Tell me I'm your favourite frequent flyer, Airline Amy,
I found a little piece of heaven,
On a 747, now noone else can take me higher than Airline Amy,
Every one of our dates is at thirty-thousand feet,
She always points out the exits to me, Shes so sweet,
You know she gets me my headphones for free,
Refills my coffee cup whenever I ask,
And you gotta admit, my baby looks real hot,
When she's wearing that oxygen mask, well,
CHORUS
Amy darlin don't you know you, really drive me nuts,
Everytime your handing out those, honey roasted peanuts,
Airline Amy this is my new mission,
Gonna get you in an upright locked position.
CHORUS
The Plumbing Song
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Parody of Don't Forget my Number
and Blaim it on the Rain by
F. Farian/B. Nail and D. Warren
Baby I sure wish I could give you a hand,
But plumbings one thing I don't understand,
It's true, Don't have a clue,
B-b-baby I canb tell youve got a big problem,
When you flush the John, It turns the shower on,
Baby, Watch ya gonna do?
If dranos a joke and your plunger is broke,
Then call the mensch with a monkey rench,
Baby, He'll be here for you.
Showers backing up-up-up,
Water won't go down-down-down,
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby,
Don't forget my plumber,
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby,
Sinks been stopped up all summer,
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby,
Better call the plumber,
He'll know what to do,
Pipes been blowing up, Pipes been breaking down,
And the carpets soaked, right through,
Ba ba ba ba ba! Ba ba ba ba ba ba,
Ba ba ba ba ba, kitchens flooded too,
Baba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba,
Baba ba ba ba, Girl ya know its true,
B-b-b-betcha this guy makes more than my lawyer,
If he works for one day costs ya half a years pay,
Baby, he can be here by two.
So if you got cash, he'll be there in a flash,
Making service calls in his overalls,
Baby, he'll do his best for you.
Showers backing up-up-up,
Got you feeling down-down-down,
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby,
Don't forget my plumber,
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby,
Leeky pipes are a bummer,
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby,
Time to call the plumber,
Mabye call a few,
Got a problem with plumbing, Got to blame it on something,
Blame it on the Drain that was cloggin, cloggin,
Blame it on the faucet, dripping all night,
If hairballs grease and goo, won't let the water through,
Blame it on the drain, yeah, yeah.
When I flush the John, now when I flush the John,
It turns the shower on,
(roto-rooter 65000)
Ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba baby,
Better call the plumber,
He'll know what to do.
(spoken) Were in the yellow pages!
You Don't Love me Anymore
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By A. Yankovic
We've been together for so, very long,
But now things are changing oh I wonder whats wrong?
Seems you don't want me around,
Now the passion is gone and the flames died down,
I guess I, lost a little bit of, self esteem,
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team,
You used to think I was nice,
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the anti-Christ
Oh, why diod you disconnect the brakes on my car?
That kinda thing is hard to ignore,
Got a funny feeling, You don't love me anymore.
I knew that we were having problems when,
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again,
Your still the light of my life,
Oh darlin I'm beggin won't you put down that knife?
You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way,
You poison my coffee just a little each day,
I still remember the way that you laughed,
When you pushed me down the elevator shaft,
Oh, if you don't mind me asking whats this poisonous cobra,
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometimes I get to thinking, You don't love me anymore.
You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill,
My scars are all healing but my heart never will,
You set my house on fire,
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers,
Oh you, think I'm ugly and you say I'm cheap,
You shaved off my eyerbrows while I was asleep,
You drilled a hole in my head,
Then you dumped in a drainage ditch and left me for dead,
Oh you know that really isn't like you at all,
You've never acted this way before,
Honey something tells me, You don't love me anymore,
Oh no, no, gotta a funny feeling, you don't love me anymore.
Jurassic Park
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Parody of MacArthur Park
by Jimmy Webb
I recall the time they found those fossilized misquito's,
And before long, they were cloning DNA,
Now I'm being chased by some irate Velociraptor,
Well believe me, this has been one lousy day,
Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark,
All those dinosaurs are running wild,
Someone shut the fence off in the rain,
I admit it's kinda eerie, but this proves my chaos theory,
And I don't think I'll be coming back again, Oh no.
I cannot approve of this atraction,
'Cause getting disemboweled always makes me kind of mad.
A huge tyranosaurus ate our laywer,
Well I suppose that proves they're really not all bad.
Jurrasic Park is frightening in the dark,
All those dinosaurs are running wild.
Someone let T-Rex out of his pen,
I afraid those things will harm me,
Cause they sure don't act like barney,
And they think that I'm thier dinner not their friend,
Oh no.
Jurrasic Park is frightening in the dark,
All the dinosaurs are running wild,
What a crummy weekend, this has been,
Well this sure aint no E - Ticket,
Think I'll tell them where to stick it,
Cause I'm never coming back this way again,
Oh no. Oh no.
Young, Dumb and Ugly
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
By A. Yankovic
Were dangerous dudes, we got bad attitudes,
Most of our brain cells are gone,
We were born to be bad, you better not get us mad,
Or we just might toilet paper your lawn.
We got a reputation round these parts,
We only leave a 10% tip,
Sometimes we don't return our shopping carts,
So stay out of our way and don't ya give us no lip,
Cause were young, dumb and ugly,
Thats what we are were so young,
Young dumb and ugly.
We wear black leather in the hottest weather,
You can't imagine the smell,
We got three day stubble, our names spell trouble,
T-R-U-B-E-L,
Raisin hell, bending the rules just a little,
We're living only for thrills,
We squeez our toothpaste tubes from the middle,
And wait untill the last minute to pay our telephone bills,
Cause were young, dumb and ugly,
You better believe it were Young,
Young dumb and ugly,
I'll tell you again, We're so young,
we're so young, dumb and ugly,
We're coming to your town,
Yeah we're young, dumb and ugly,
We're wild reckless men and on the rampage again,
We drive with just one hand on the wheel,
Dangers in our souls, we're going out of control,
Swimming right after a big heavy meal,
We're there wherever troubles startin,
We're rebels without a clue,
We drink milk, right from the carton,
And keep our library books till they're way overdue,
Cause we're young, dumb and ugly, thats what we are,
We're so young, young dumb and ugly, You can't stop us,
We're young, we're so young, dumb and ugly,
Young, dumb, and ugly,
We're young, we're young, dumb and ugly,
So ugly, Young, dumb and ugly.
Bedrock Anthem
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Parody of Under the Bridge and
Give it away by A. Kiedis, Flea,
John Fruseiante and Chad Smith.
Sometimes I feel like I need a vacation,
Sometimes I feel like I want to go,
To the city of cavemen, The city of bedrock,
I'de be a Flinstone, Now I'll tell you why.
Well I've got, I've got, A woman named Wilma,
Well I've got, I've got, a baby pebbles,
Well I've got, I've got, a doggy named dino,
We do a little bowling and we drink a little vino,
Well I've got a little buddy named Barney Rubble,
Got a neigbour by the name of Barney Rubble,
He's a midget but he makes alot of trouble,
Doesn't like to shave he got caveman stubble.
Me and Barney, Loyal order water buffaloe,
Lodge brothers loyal order water buffaloe,
Theres handshake everybody gotta know,
How come grand pooba always gotta run the whole show,
Yabba dabba yabba dabba daba do now,
Yabba dabba yabba dabba daba do now,
Yabba dabba yabba dabba daba do now,
I get by on all my prehistoric knowhow,
Betty and barney gotta baby named bambam,
Little pebbles is his number one fan,
He's the strongest toddler in the whole land,
Tear your arm if he shakes your hand,
Gotta car gonna push it with my feet now,
Gonna take my family out to eat now,
Jumbo ribs at the drivein can't be beat now,
Made from brontosaurus baby, not moo cow,
Wanta chill with a sabertooth tiger,
Wear a loin cloth natural fiber,
Be the first rolling stones subscriber,
Got a teradactal for a windshield wiper,
Yabba dabba yabba dabba daba do now,
Yabba dabba yabba dabba daba do now,
Yabba dabba yabba dabba daba do now,
Don't know what it means but I say it anyhow,
Lucky me working down in the gravel pit,
Movin rocks on a big dinosaur I sit,
Mr. Slate gets mad and he throws a fit,
Pulled the birdies tail and everyone knows its time to quit,
I realize I'm living in the stone age,
No FAX no celular phone age,
Pick my teeth with a dinosaur bone age,
Lifting heavy boulders everyday for my wage,
Barney rubble laughing like a hyeena,
Barney rubble what a little wiener,
Wheres Wilma, anybody seen her?
Got a baby elephant vaccum cleaner,
Yabba dabba yabba dabba daba do now,
Yabba dabba yabba dabba daba do now,
Yabba dabba yabba dabba daba do now,
Yabba dabba yabba dabba daba do now.
Franks 2000 Inch TV
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
By A. Yankovic
Rising above the city, blocking out the noonday sun,
It warps the mighty redwoods and it towers over everyone,
I still remember, when that delivery truck came down our block,
What a lucky guy I here he got the last one in stock,
And the neighbours are just green, They say,
Thats the biggest screen, I've ever seen,
Franks 2000 inch TV, Franks 2000 inch TV,
Everybody come and see, Franks 2000 inch TV,
Franks 2000 inch TV, Franks 2000 inch TV,
There's Franks remote control, you can look, but don't touch it please,
Cause Franks the one in charge and he decides what everybody sees,
The pictures crystal clear and everything is magnified,
Robert DeNiro's mole, Has gotta be 10 feet wide,
Everybody in the town, Can hear those 90,000 watts of dolby sound,
And I'm mighty proud to say, That I can watch the Simpsons from
Thirty blocks away oh,
Franks 2000 inch TV, Franks 2000 inch TV,
Everybody come and see, Franks 2000 inch TV,
Franks 2000 inch TV, Franks 2000 inch TV,
Everybody come and see, Franks 2000 inch TV,
I'm gonna get one of my own real soon,
Its like having a drive in movie, In you own living room,
Whoa, hey now, hey now, hey now, na na na now,
Hey now, nana now, Hey now, na na na,
Franks 2000 inch TV, Franks 2000 inch TV,
Everybody come and see, Franks 2000 inch TV,
You won't believe it,
Franks 2000 inch TV, Franks 2000 inch TV,
Everybody come and see, Franks 2000 inch TV,
Franks 2000 inch TV, Franks 2000 inch TV,
Got a 2 year warantee, On parts and labour,
Franks 2000 inch TV, Franks 2000 inch TV,
Franks 2000 inch TV,
Achy Breaky Song
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Parody of Achy Breaky Heart,
by Don Von Tress
You can torture me, With Donny and Marie,
You can play some Barry Manilow,
Or you can play some schlock, Like new kids on the block,
Or any village peoples song ya know,
Or play Vanilla Ice, Hey you can play him twice,
And you can play the Bee Gee's any day,
But Mr. D.J. please, I'm beggin on my knees,
I just can't take no more of Billy Ray,
Don't play that song, That Achy Breaky song,
The most annoying song I know, And if you play that song,
That Achy Breaky song, I might blow up my radio, Woooo,
You can clear the room, By playing Debbie Boone,
Or crank your Abba records untill dawn,
Oh I could even hear, Slim Whitman or Zamfir,
Don't mind a Yoko Ono marathon,
Or play some Tiffany, on eight track or CD,
Or scrape you finger nails across the board,
Or tie me to a chair, and kick me down the stairs,
Just please don't play that stupid song no more,
Don't play that song, That Achy Breaky song,
You know I hate that song a bunch, And if you play that song,
That nausiating song, It just might make me loose my lunch, Woooo,
Don't play that song, That Achy Breaky song,
You know its driving me insane, Oh please don't play that song,
That Irritating song, I'de rather have a pitch fork in my brain,
Don't play that song, That Achy Breaky song,
The most annoying song I know, And if you play that song,
That Achy Breaky song, I might blow up my radio, Woooo,
Traffic Jam
-=-=-=-=-=-
By A. Yankovic.
Carbon monoxide, making me choke,
No A.C., and the radio's broke,
Cars backed up, far as you can see,
Seems like I've been waiting here for all eternity
Oh and just in case you wondering, I'll tell you where I am,
Right here, right here, Right here, right here,
Stuck right here in the middle of this Traffic jam,
Haven't moved one inch from this here spot,
Traffic Jam, The freeway's one big parking lot,
Traffic jam, my radiators boiling hot and I'm
Stuck right here in the middle, right here in the middle,
Right here in the middle of a Traffic Jam.
Trapped inside, my automobile,
Cobwebs growing, On the steering wheel,
Now I'm no genius, but one thing I know,
I shouldn't have had that bag of bran muffins,
An hour and a half ago,
Yeah and if you need to find me, I'll tell you where I am,
I'm Right here, Right here, Right here, Right here,
Stuck smack dab in the middle of this traffic Jam,
Haven't moved one inch from this here spot,
Traffic Jam, the freeways one big parking lot,
Traffic Jam, I thought we were moving but I guess were not,
And I'm stuck right here in the middle,
Right here in the middle, right here in the middle of a traffic Jam,
Stuck in the middle of a traffic Jam,
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Yeah,
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to
Bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper to
Ya-Hey!
There's a yuppie on a cellular phone,
Gonna puke if I hear any more,
The a motor cycle zooming by me,
Watch what happens when I open my door,
Now we're all goin nowhere fast and I guess I'ts perfectly clear,
I left home 5 hours ago and I can still see my house from here,
So if anybodys trying to find me, I'll tell you where I am,
Right here, right here, Right here, right here,
Stuck right here in the middle of this, Traffic Jam,
I haven't moved one inch from this here spot,
Traffic jam, The freeway's one big parking lot,
Traffic jam, now my back teetch are floating and my nerves are shot,
Cause I'm stuck right here in the middle,
Right here in the middle, Stuck here in the middle of a traffic jam,
Traffic jam, Traffic jam, traffic jam, traffic jam, Woo!
Livin' In the Fridge
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Parody of Livin' on the Edge
by Steve Tyler/Joe Parry/Mark Hudson
There's something weird in the fridge today,
I don't know what it is,
Food I can't recognize,
My roomate won't throw a thing away,
I guess It's probably his,
It looks like it's alive.
And living in the fridge, livin' in the fridge,
Livin' in the fridge, livin' in the fridge,
Theres something gross in the fridge today,
It's green and growing hair,
It's been there since July,
If you can name the object in that baggy over there,
Then mister your a better man than I,
It's livin' in the fridge,
You can't stop the mold from growing,
Livin' in the fridge,
Can't tell what it is at all,
Livin' in the fridge,
You can't stop the mold from growing,
Livin' in the fridge.
Tell me do you think it should be carbon-dated?
Fumigated or cremated and buried at sea?
You try to save a little of your home cooking,
Couple weeks later got a scary looking specimen,
It always happens my friend,
Again and again and agian and again,
Something stinks in the fridge today,
And it's been rotting there all week,
It could be liver cake or mammoth steak,
Well mabye I should take another peek...
Livin' in the fridge,
You can't stop the mold from growing,
Livin' in the fridge,
Can't tell what it is at all,
Livin' in the fridge,
You can't stop the mold from growing,
Livin' in the fridge,
Livin' in the fridge,
Don't know what it is, don't know what it is,
Livin' in the fridge,
Don't know what it is at all,
Livin' in the fridge, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah.
Talk Soup
-=-=-=-=-
By A. Yankovic
I dated siameese twins,
I slept with bigfoot too,
Get me on Sally Jesse,
Put me on Donahue,
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right now,
My dog's a narcoleptic,
My mom's a circus freak,
I gotta get a spot on,
Geraldo's show this week,
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right now,
I'm just an anorexic, codependant, bingo addict
Stripper born without a chin,
And I'm only comfortable talkin about it
When the whole world is listening in,
Talk soup, Talk soup,
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me,
My wife ran off with Elvis,
My boss shaved off my hair,
I've got a thing for poodles,
And rubber underwear,
And I wanna tell the world about,
Right now,
I'm just a cross-dressing, alcoholic neo Nazi
Porno star as you may have guessed,
And I'm really gonna feel a whole lot better,
If you let me get this thing off my chest,
Talk soup, talk soup,
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me,
I'm just your average shcizophrenic nymphomaniac,
Albino go-go dancer you see,
Nothing so bad that I can't share it,
With a billion friends on national TV, Whooa,
I have no genitalia
I sold my kids for cheese,
I love my blow up doll,
So bring on those cameras please,
'Cause I wanna tell the whole wide world about it,
Right now,
Talk soup, Talk soup,
Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me.
She Never Told Me She Was A Mime
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
By A. Yankovic.
When we first met she seemed perfectly normal,
I never dreamed she'd make my life so hard,
You see, my baby, she started to change,
Started looking kinda strange,
Wearin' all that white makeup and those black leotards.
Well I guess she kept her little secret, pretty well.
Now ever since I learned the horrible truth you see
My life has been a living hell,
Thats right you see,
She never told me she was a mime,
She never told me she was a mime, Oh no,
Actin' like shes trapped inside a big glass box all the time,
She never told me, she never told me, SHe was a,
Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma mime,
I wish we both could just talk it all over,
But my baby, won't make a sound,
Now she everybody sick,
Doing that pantomime schtick,
Even our old friends have stopped comming around.
Well my parents can't stand her and the neighbours hate our guts,
She's really really, embarasing me you know this silent treatments
Driving me nuts, You see...
She never told me she was a mime,
She never told me she was a mime, Oh no,
Actin' like shes trapped inside a big glass box all the time,
What a crime,
She never told me, she never told me, She was a, mime.
She walks against the wind everywhere we go,
Stops at every corner gotta put on a show,
Carries round a picture of Marcel Marceau,
Always wsa the quiet type, But how was I to know?
She never told me she was a mime,
She never told me she was a mime, Oh no,
Actin' like shes trapped inside a big glass box all the ty yi
Yi yi yi yi yi yime,
She never told me, she never told me, she was a mime.
Harvey the Wonder Hamster
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
By A. Yankovic
Oh Harvey, Harvey,
Harvey the wonder Hampster
He doesn't bite, and he doesn't squeal,
He just runs around in his hamster wheel,
Harvey, Harvey,
Harvey the wonder Hampster
Hey Harvey!
Waffle King
-=-=-=-=-=-
By A. Yankovic
It took a lifetime, but I finally found,
The perfect waffle recipe.
You'll never find a batter any better in this whole stinking town,
You one bite, and I'm sure that you'll agree,
Your eyes roll back, and your knees get weak,
Aw, your gonna lick your plate cleen,
People come from miles around just to study my technique,
I make the best darn waffles this world has ever seen,
I'm the, Waffle King, Waffle King, Yeah,
Waffle King, Waffle King,
That's what they call me,
Waffle King, Waffle King,
Hey! I'm the waffle king,
Everywhere I go now, the people cheer,
I never have to wait in line,
People say, "Right this way sir, You moneys no good here"
Some day I'll betcha they'll build me a shrine,
And everybody says "I'm your biggest fan"
"I seen your picture in people magazine"
People come from around the world, Just to shake my hand,
If you don't believe in the power of the waffle let me show ya what I mean,
I'm the, Waffle King, Waffle King,
Make you want to scream and shout,
Waffle King, Waffle King,
That's my name don't wear it out,
Waffle King, Waffle King,
Make no mistake about it,
I'm the Waffle king, Yeah.
Roll out the red carpet.
Cause here I come,
All you pions better scram,
Out of my way now, You worthless piece of scum,
Don't you know who I am?
Hey!
I wanna see you grovel you waffle eating fools,
Everybody on your knees,
You wanna buy a waffle your playing by my rules,
Go on, beg me, lemme hear you say pretty please,
Can't you tell the universe revolves around me?
Don't you know you suckers owe me everything,
And can't you see that I'm the highest form of life
That there could ever be?
Everybody all around the world stand up and sing,
Come on now,
Waffle King,
Hey batter batter,
Waffle king,
Hot on your platter,
Waffle King,
Say, whats the matter?
Don't you know who I am,
Don't you know who I am?
Tell em' girls,
He's the Wa wa wa wa wa wa waffle king,
Yeah yeah,
He's the Wa wa wa wa wa wa waffle king,
Tell the truth now,
He's the Wa wa wa wa wa wa waffle king,
Don't you know who I am?
Don't you know who I am?
Bohemian Polka
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Parody of Bohemian Rhapsody
by Queen
Is this the real world,
Is this just fantasy,
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality,
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skys and see,
I'm just a poor boy,
I need no sympathy,
Cause' I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Any way the wind blows,
Doesn't really matter to me.
Mama just killed a man,
Put the gun up to his head,
Pulled the trigger now he's dead <BANG!>
Mama, life had just begun but now I've gone and thrown it all away,
Mama, oooo, Didn't mean to make you cry,
If I'm not back this time tommorow,
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters,
Too late, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine,
Body's aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody, I've gotta go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth,
Mama, ooo, I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'de never been born at all,
I see a little silhoette of a man,
Scaramouch, scaramouch, Will you do the fandango?
Thunderbolt and lighteng, very very frightening me!
Gallileo Gallileo
Gallileo Gallileo
Gallileo figaro, Manifico! Hey hey hey!
I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me,
He's just a poor boy from a poor family,
Spare him his life from this monstrocity,
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismillah! No we will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go
Will not let you go - let him go
Will not let you go - let him go
No no no no no no no no no!
Oh mama mia mama mia mama mia let me go!
Feezlebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me!
So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye,
So you think you can love me and leave me to die,
Oh baby - Can't do this to me baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here,
Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters to me,
Anyway the wind blows,
Anyway the wind, Anyway the wind blows,
Hey!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Thats it for this file. Watch for more Weird Al Song files!
Brought to you by Mister Yak AKA Jason Spates
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