Bad Ideas
Artistic Endeavors
But Can You Dance to It?
Cult of the Dead Cow
Literary Genius
Making Money
No Laughing Matter
On-Line 'Zines
Science Fiction
register | bbs | search | rss | faq | about
meet up | add to del.icio.us | digg it

No Laughing Matter

'Tales Of Velvet' are articles written by Bruce Go
'Twas the night before installation
(humourous) Best Rum Cake Ever Recipe
100 excuses for leaving work early
100 more raunchy jokes
100 raunchy jokes
101 Ways to say No
101 excuses to say NO!
101 things you don't want to hear your sysadmin sa
101 uses for Wood Bugs
101 uses for a Dead Ferret!?
101 ways to annoy a fascist
101 ways to skin a cat
101 ways to tell if you're a prep...
110 Dumb Blonde Jokes
 Why don't Blondes eat pickles? Because they get their head stuck in the jar. Why do Blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. Why don't Blondes like to make Kool-Aid? They can't fit 8 cups of water in that little package.
150 Blonde Jokes
18 Things to say to Telemarketers
19 Ways to be offensive at a funeral
1997 Darwin Award Winner - man electrocuted by his
20 types you see in the men's room
208 REALLY phunny blonde jokes
2084: A Phone Odyssey by Maxwell Smart & The Baron
 Winston took a last drag from his cigarette and put it out on an old useless device which he still treasured. He reached over and picked up the blue box, covered by many cigarette burns accumilated over his many years in prison. He thought back to when times were better; when fone phreaks freely roamed the countryside, terrorizing unsuspecting Bell employees. Yes Winston was one of that vanishing breed of phreaks who had managed to escape with his life in this era of the ISS Bell Network.
27 reasons why tacos are better than women
30 innovative ways to reduce stress; compiled by
32 reasons why cookie dough is better than men
50 Uses for a dead pussy
50 fun things to do to a church...
50 reasons why a guitar is better than a woman
50 uses for a dead cunt
50 ways to confuse your roommate
50 ways to confuse your roommate
65 Murphy's Laws of Combat
77 Reasons Animals Are Better Than People
9 user types (humour)
A Black Lament
A Clinical Analysis of Anti- Government Phobia by I
A Dave Barry humorous outlook on four of the main
A Flaming Form
A Girl's Guide to Condoms
A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys
A Government employee's dog
A Guide to Love and Sex for Today's Young Women (y
A Guide to the Mind Reading Markup Language(MRML)
A Highway Menace is put to the Test [Dave Barry]
A Pennsylvania Resident's diary in December about
A Politically Correct Primer (Canadian Edition)
A Quiz for Smart Asses
A Secular Humanist TV Schedule by Geoff Gilpin
 Now that the courts have declared that Secular Humanism is a religion, can a Secular Humanist cable TV network be far behind?
A Sneaky Quiz
A Trip to Germany by Dave Berry
A Unix MAN page for dating
A WEIRD Duh Dile Capture
A White Joke
A blue book for used ladies
A brush with tastelessness - or, how to kill a bun
A bunch of new jokes that are actually FUNNY
A chain letter for women only
A chemical analysis of a woman
A child plays with his toy train set (joke)
A collection of dirty jokes
A collection of favorite 1 line taglines
A collection of lawyer jokes (from Nolo Press)
A collection of yo- mama jokes
A comedic history of the world
A cool file containing a short but entertaining pl
A cute joke about the Pope. Rated G. Probably a
A cute joke told on a golf course
A cute parrot joke
A cute, old joke
A farmer's guide to computers
A few cruel and unusual tortures that women inflic
A file of O. J. Simpson Jokes
A funny text file
A funny text file about a guy and his dog named Se
A funny txt file about some people on WIND SHEER a
A hi- larious piece of actual lit. from IBM
A hilarious poem ala Edgar Allen Poe reflecting .s
A huge file full of great jokes
A humorous story...
A humourous look at the V- Chip
A hunter in Uganda is being sought by local author
A joke about a newlywed couple
A joke about two arabs and a jew.
A large file of practical jokes from the internet,
A large list of blonde jokes!
A letter from a Polish mom to her son
A letter from a very stupid mother
A list of Letterman top- 10 lists which mention J.
A list of joke penis descriptions
A list of some oxymorons, like jumbo shrimp, wirel
A load of blond jokes! How many blonds does it tak
A lot of Your mama's so - that she - jok
A memorandum describing the Ontario Social Contra
A nasty horoscope
A nice little poem on how th pussy was made
A parody of Microsoft's business practices in a ST
A physics poem for Erwin Schrodinger
A post- Bobbitt prayer for males
A quiz of your sexual awareness
A rant about what language real programmers use.
A real smooth con artist brings back her boy frien
A really SICK collection of 'Dead Baby' jokes... e
A series of blonde jokes
A shorter nasty horoscope
A sick nun joke
A statue of Dukakis
A story about BBSers, it's funny. I think.
A stupid parody of The Twelve Days of Christmas
A test to determine whether or not you are a nerd!
A text file on Special High Intensity Training
A tongue- in- cheek psychological pigeonhole exam
A transcript of a real leaflet telling why the Wor
A typical warranty
A whole bunch a human jokes from alt.slack I think
A- Z of Foul Language
A. Whitney Brown - The Big Picture
ADMINSPOTING a satire of the ad for the film Trai
ALF's Log
ASCII pic of Bart givin Saddam the bird
AT&T Customer Service Memorandum (joke)
Abbot & Costello's Who's On First
About 65 limericks
Actual Word Perfect Support Call (Very funny)
Ad Campaigns Gone Wrong
Administratium - A New Element by Thomas G. Kyle
 The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered at one of the national laboratories. The element, tentatively named administratium (Ad), has no electrons or protons, thus having atomic number zero. It does, however, have one neutron, 75 associate neutrons, 125 deputy associate neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy associate neutrons.
Adventure Dog (Dave Barry)
Adventures in the Land of Else #2
All about computer nerds- definitions
All about preachers
All about the word FUCK
All sorts of funny stuff
Am I a neanderthal? (take this test and find out)
An American Dream come true
An Essay On Luggage
An address given to law students on their first da
An analysis of waitresses
An application to live in Arkansas - great humor
An appropriate response to Make Money Fast posts
And now Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy...
Announcement of Brain Doubler 1.0, just like Johnn
Answering machine messages
Antigravity discovered! The feline butterology th
Application to live in West Virginia
April 1, 1993, Washington DC: The administration
Are you a jerk?
Are you only using half of your brain?
Are you only using the other half?
Aren't ye too old to be believin' in Leprechauns?
Artificial Stupidity
Ask a sewage plant worker - should condoms be adve
Assorted religious humour
Attack of the eel
B- day jokes
BUGS: Don't live in ignorance
Bagel Man
Baghdad's First Air Show
Ballad of the Bobbitts
Ban OJ's assault shovel - funny
Bart Simpson's blackboard quotes
Basic motorcycle test
Bastard Operator From Hell! Story about a Universi
Bathroom Habits - Women by Jonas
 Why do girls go to the bathroom in flocks? What secret powers do they draw from their pee-pee-posse? I'm here to speculate.
Because We Are Men...
Beer- drinker's Troubleshooting Guide
Bestiality - Is It for Me?
Beware! UNIX is a hoax!
Bill CLinton jokes
Bless B.C.
Blonde Jokes
Bogus NAACP application
Bono/Kennedy Jokes
Boot It
Borg- related taglines, a canonical list
Breaking the Link Workshop: Keeping Out The Wimps
Brigham Young University Coeds
 Jokes for Brigham Young University; applicable just about anywhere.
Bruce Penny's platitudes
Bubba Hillbilies Dixie Slang Dictionary
Bunch of jokes and one- liners, including many Bran
By the horses names... it's quite a race
COUNT DRACULA by Woody Allen
Can Foreigners Shrink the Dicks of Africans?
Can you tell a cut- throat from a tracheotomist? by
Canonical O.J. Simpson Joke List
Capt. Janeway vs. Capt. Picard
Carefree Glacier Watch organization
Cereal marketing gone amok
Child Abuse Handbook
Chocolate vs Sex text file.. VERY funny...
City of Los Angeles Math Proficiency Exam
Clean up on aisle 6
Clone of my own
Codes for nasty responses - abusive language
Cola Alert! Cola wars introduce JOLT- PLUS
Collection of FUNNY Headlines
Collection of funny stories
Collection of funny thoughts
Collection of history papers from a freshman colle
Collection of jokes
Comparing a woman with an automobile
Compiled list of Occupation X does it Thusly one
Computer Melvins
Computer Oriented Personalities
Computer definitions
Convoluted Phraseology - Buzzwords by the numbers
Crash course text file about depression. Good info
DOOM iNsAnItY v5.5 By: Hank Leukart. Comedy about
Dark vs Light: Some new theories?
Dating Do's and Don'ts: A Handy Checklist for the
Dave Barry on electricity
Dave Barry on the history of the computer
Dave Barry's First Rule of Dating
Dave Barry's concise history of 1986
Dave Berry on writing
Dave Letterman's top- 10 Elf Pickup Lines
David Koresh jokes
David Letterman Top 10 Lists
David Letterman's Top Ten Lists
David Letterman's top ten things that a ballerina
De Sa is a glue sniffer, who steals from shops to
Dead Baby Jokes
Dead baby jokes - kinda sick heheheh
Dear Earthling
Dear Sysop ... TE's Message To A Control Freak Sysop
 New users are allowed to use the system in order to determine which billing method they prefer.
Definitions of Slang for Fools
Definitions of various excrement types
Denny's Discrimination Customer Claim form
Deteriorata: Why you should give up life
Different religious and worldly ways of saying, us
Different smiley faces
Different views on marriage. Good quotes
Disco Can Be Fun 11th Hour Prod.
Disorder in the Court
Do you know Jack Schitt? by kToche
 For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Do you know when to lie?
Do's and Don'ts of Cultivating and Maintaining a P
DogBoy Industries Pet Interface Hardware/Software
Doom Excuses - what to tell your boss when you're
Doom Insanity (Doom- oriented humor)
Dr. Seuss Purity Test
Dr. Seuss, Technical Writer
Dream Forge: The e- magazine for your mind, Vol. 1,
Drink till I Die, funny song
EMAIL 101; for those of you who have yet to get wi
Emoti- boobies!
Employee review sheet (suitable for all businesses
English as She Is Spoke
Equality for Women in the Workplace / Maternity Leave by KAMB
 A mock legal studies essay... find it amusing but please don't find it offensive, otherwise you may not find it at all. So accept that it's a joke, and anyone that is considering taking it seriously, please refrain from doing so.
Ethiopian Jokes
Evan's Best Freeloading BBQ Recipes
Excerpts from Martha Stewart's "Prison Life" Magazine by Alan Arnold
 A spoof of Martha Stewart in the form of an excerpt from the magazine that she might write.
Excerpts from the book _Guilt Without Sex_
Exciting TRUE story of two dumb fucks killed by pi
Exerpt from Count Zero, Future of Hacking ?
Famous student bloopers ( humour)
Feed China with American children
Field manual for a W.A.C.
File about the world's largest Burrito, including
File of funny lists
Flaming a guy who works for a tampon marketing thi
Foreign objects found in anal canal
Four humorous pieces for the humor collection
Fred Wood # 2: Designer Genes
Freudian review of Seuss' Cat in the Hat
Full Metal Pulpit
Fun at Hallowe'en, humourous article
Funky Humor
Funky humor
Funky humor
Funky humor
Funky humor
Funnies at the water department hotline
Funny & dirty Confucian sayings
Funny Discusion About Mouse Balls
Funny IRISH Absurdly Obvious Truths
Funny Murphy's laws
Funny Red Neck Jokes (get this)
Funny but real copyright notice from a music compa
Funny chain- letter will bring you good sex
Funny dream about a Microsoft advertisment
Funny file on the chicken and the bureaucrat
Funny guppy story
Funny jokes
Funny letter to Ladies Home Journal ragging on fem
Funny look at what doctors really mean.
Funny one- liners
Funny poem about UUCP network
Funny retirement policy
Funny signs & typos. Very good!
Funny stories
Funny stories
Funny stories
Funny stories
Funny story about bricklayers
Funny story of Frank Tang about growing mushrooms
Funny tale of boy overheard playing with trains
Funny things men do
Funny ways to answer the phone
George Carlin's list of swearwords file 1 of 2
George Carlin's list of swearwords file 2 of 2
Giggly funny
God sues over look and feel
God's Resume
Golf jokes
Good Ideas for Alternative Burials by WakingTheDead
 Tired of being buried? Sick of being burned? Well join me in a short discription of alternative burials!
Good Jokes Complied By Me!
Good Jokes about yo mama
Great parody of Win95 from alt.2600!
Grouchy Quotes
Guide to Safe Fax
Guidelines for a romantic date
Guitar Tab Nothing Else Matters
Guy gets hassled at Taco Bell for a $2 bill
Guyness test
Guys and Jacking Off by Jenny
 Don't you ever wonder if they get sick of slappin da salami?
Hacker's Anthem
Handy Phrases for traveling in Moslem areas
Happy Fun Ball
Harry the Milkman & the Fossil Pigs
Head games with yo- self
Herman The compulsive liar - Story outline for a v
Hilarious X- rated Indian joke
Hispanic Insults
History of Electricity (funny)
Hotel maids from hell
How Shit Happens
 This corporate parable, written by an unknown hand, describes how a proposal that is shit is represented as better and better as it moves up the bureaucracy.
How The Internet Works by XliMun
 In this article I try to explain the basic concepts of how the internet works and how it has changed over the years (with a rather irregular use of referring to hampsters).
How To Win The Lottery by CoDe ErRoR
 Simple, four-step process guaranteed to win the lottery.
How Your Dick is TAXED by the Government
How many ___ does it take to screw in a lightbulb
How not to care for your disks
How the world would be different if we were only 99.9% accurate
How to Hijack a School Bus
How to Take a Crap by x3D
How to Write Good
How to argue effectively
How to be God
How to be a qool dood!
How to be annoying...
How to be elite
How to become Satan in 30 days
How to choose a Handle
How to get out of a blind date
How to lose friends and annoy people
How to make a blood box. This is FUNNY!
How to sabotage the Dave Rhodes chain letter
How to talk a hacker into bed
How to tell fellow employees to FUCK OFF in a poli
How to tell if technology is taking over your life
Humor: How to tell if you are a BBS addict
Humorous List of Viruses
Humour form Dave Barry on medical care
Humour from Dave Barry on IRS
Humourous Hands Off sign for your Computer Equip
Hundreds of euphemisms for the female reproductive
Hundreds of euphemisms for the male reproductive o
I Am A BAD American by George Carlin
 I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary, with a bad comb-over, who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.
I can see the fnords!
I wanna be a builder when I grow up
I've Been Married Nine Times (a bit suggestive)
IBM Base Register Concepts
IBM DOS Virus: AMOEBA - This is a memory resident
IBM DOS Virus: BURGER - For the most part these ar
IBM DOS Virus: COPYRIGH - These are memory residen
IBM DOS Virus: GENESIS - Genesis is a direct- actin
IBM DOS Virus: WHALE - Whale is a very complex vir
Idea for a politically- incorrect county fair
Idiotic Science - a perversely- amusing look at v
Idol Worship! When you hear the calling and find y
If Operating Systems Were Airlines
If operating systems ran airplanes...
If operating systems ran your car...
If you like small animals DO NOT READ THIS! EXTRE
Illuminati University theme song
Impure mathematics Math parody HUMOR
In The Beginning... (funny)
In the beginning there was the computer. And God s
Ineffective Daily Affirmations
 As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath...
Information on Luding
Instruction Manual for the Cray 7
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 1 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 10 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 11 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 12 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 13 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 14 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 15 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 16 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 17 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 18 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 19 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 2 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 20 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 21 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 22 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 23 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 24 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 3 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 4 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 5 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 6 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 7 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 8 of 25
InterNet NutWorks compiled humour file 9 of 25
Interesting text on top 10 ways you know the Easte
Introducing your new god...
Iraq jokes
Is madness really bad?
JaberStocky (Jabberwocky on Wall Street)
Jerky Boyz Transcripts compiled by Shardik of 0str
Jerusalem on the Jukebox - a satirical song.
Jesus = Elvis? Ponder these coincidences...
Joe Bob Briggs on Genetic Engineering
Jokes about Jeffrey Dahmer, with Pee- Wee Herman an
Jokes beginning with I
Jokes beginning with O
Jokes beginning with Q
Jokes collected over time More Jokes Yet even more
Jokes of the day
Jokes of the day #2
Jokes of the day #3 (more to come)...
Joys of the VI editor
Just My Luck
 Amazing new study shows that your favorite Lucky Charms marshmallow bit shape determines what you're like in bed! Yes, it's true--just take this simple test to determine your true bedroom personality...
Just a few famous Norm Peterson lines
Just bizarre.
Just some jokes about doing stuff to your roommate
Kentucky Fried Chicken Hoax
 First of all, has anybody noticed that just recently, the company has changed their name? Kentucky Fried Chicken has become KFC. Does anybody know why? We thought the real reason was because of the "FRIED" food issue. It's not. The reason why they call it KFC is because they cannot use the word chicken anymore. Why? KFC does not use real chickens...
Kill Wesley
King's I Have a Dream speech in jive
Latin Phrases & English Counterparts
Lawn fertilization chain letter
Laws of cartoonland
Lawyer jokes
Lawyer jokes
Lawyer jokes
Letter from Gulf Breeze lawyer
Life 2.4
Life 5.C
Life 5.E
Light bulb jokes
Lightbulb jokes
Lincoln's Gettysburg Address
Loads of new messages for answering machine phones
Lose weight with the infant's diet
Lots and lots of jokes
Lots and lots of jokes, ranging from blond jokes t
Lots of dead baby jokes. Nice and tasteless
Lots of things to do when you're b0red
MEGA Blonde Jokes!
Macintosh 128k vs a Brick
Major Technological Breakthrough!!! Announcing the new Built- in
Making Modern Horror Flicks at Home
Making fun of OJ to the tune of Green Eggs and Ham
Male menstruation
Man wants to model condoms
Managerese <- > Engineerese translator
Many different types of farts
Many fun things to do to a twinkie!
Many funny top 10 lists
Many more assorted jokes
Many more blond jokes. Don't be offended it's inte
Marijuana Monologues by Jim Taugher
 There is a stand-up comedy show schedualed for January 23rd 2003 in Madison, Wisconsin that takes a High-larious look at Marijuana.
Marketing the HAL9000 computer
Martina Navratilova's top 10 uses for a tennis rac
Marvin, the Paranoid Android
Materials Safety Data Sheet on Men
Medieval funny stories
Meet the Schitt Family
Meihem in ce klasrum
Mein Kampf
 You wake up after a night full of dreaming. Odd, that. You rarely dreamed before. Odd dreams, too. Not particularly weird, but very active, about odd things. Strangely lucid dreams, too, the sort that kind of blend into awakening; they become more lucid as you go, until you realize you're awake and thinking instead of dreaming, though the subject matter hasn't changed. Could be the transition. Or maybe more likely just emotional turmoil. No guts to say for sure. You get up and move without awareness into the washroom.
Memetics Engineer
Men have organized to attempt to stop penis severi
Microsoft and the church! Funny!
Microsoft plans to buy the Catholic Church
Mike's Madness #10: A bit about Chess etc.
Mike's Madness #11: Special Release Issue
Mike's Madness #12: Graham Chapman etc.
Mike's Madness #13: In the Wild with 'arry
Mike's Madness #14: Scumbag Computer Store
Mike's Madness #15: The Apple IIgs: A Turd
Mike's Madness #16: Federal Judges etc.
Mike's Madness #17: COPS etc.
Mike's Madness #18: Song for urologists etc
Mike's Madness #19
Mike's Madness #1: Term Project
Mike's Madness #20
Mike's Madness #21
Mike's Madness #22
Mike's Madness #23
Mike's Madness #24
Mike's Madness #25
Mike's Madness #26
Mike's Madness #2: Guide to Cable TV
Mike's Madness #3: The Loadie Test
Mike's Madness #4: The Modern World
Mike's Madness #5: Trip to Australia
Mike's Madness #6: A fable etc.
Mike's Madness #7: The Adolf Hitler Show
Mike's Madness #8: KZAP 98.5 Sacramento
Mike's Madness #9: Dark Side of the Moon
Misery Is...
More Jokes
More Jokes
More Jokes
More flag- licking satire
More funny stuff
More jokes
More of Jack Handey's DEEP THOUGHTS
More on real programmers
More than 100 genuine slang terms for male genital
More top ten lists from Late Night with David L
Mountie UFO witness silenced
Murphy's Law - pretty funny
Murphy's Laws of Combat
Murphy's Laws of Hacking
Murphy's Laws on Sex
Murphy's Laws on just about everything
Murphy's cousin Finagle & his scientific theory
Murphy's laws of combat
My Girlfriend's Little Sister by Satans Handicapped Helper
 This is definately the best advice you will ever get!
NetWit Vol.2 #27
NetWit Vol.2 #28
NetWit Vol.2 #29
NetWit Vol.2 #30
NetWit Vol.2 #31
NetWit Vol.2 #32
NetWit Vol.2 #33
NetWit volume 2 #1
NetWit volume 2 #2
NetWit volume 2 #3
Netwit Vol. 2 #12
Netwit Vol. 2 #13
New Hampshire/MA residency applications
New Penis Taxation Schedule (humour)
New product: Microsoft Litigation '95
New uses for the U.S. flag
New warnings for packages
News article about an April Fool's joke
News quirks of the day
Night of the Cabbage Patch Kids
Nike's new slogan
Norton Mind Doctor
Numerous assorted jokes
Nutworks V1N1
Nutworks V1N2
OJ Simpson jokes
Obnoxious questionniare for public servants
Obscene employee evaluation form
On Farting
On Mulroney
On- line addicts
One Liners - (That say it all)
One OS to Bring Them All...
 Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows XP on my PC...
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or
Opening lines
Operating systems compared to beer! funny!
Operation Vowel Storm, in Bosnia
Over 100 lawyer jokes
Overview of Intel's new Pentium processor
Oxygen: a dangerous drug which must be banned.
Pachydermic Personnel Prediction
Paramedics from Hell 1
Paramedics from Hell 12 (reader discretion advised
Paramedics from Hell 15
Paramedics from Hell 16
Paramedics from Hell 17
Paramedics from Hell 18
Paramedics from Hell 19
Paramedics from Hell 20
Paramedics from Hell 3
Paramedics from Hell 4
Paramedics from Hell 5 and 1/2
Paramedics from Hell 6
Paramedics from Hell 7
Paramedics from Hell 8
Paranoid is a fictional semi- humorous story I wrot
Parody on 'Twas the Night Before Xmas'
Parody on wiccan laws
Part Marks
Pepsi Degeneration
Pindor - Comments on the Symbol Grounding Problem
Pipefitter news
Poem: 'Twas The Night Before Beta Test
Political Cows
Pooh Goes Apeshit!
Post- modern David Lettermanism, etc.
Potato Bazooka Humor from Dave Barry
Presidents Say The Darnest Things by President George W. Bush
 George W. Bush is so stupid he has a page all to himself, here are some of the stupid things he's said.
Problems, Faults, and Solutions for beer drinkers
Proof of TOTSE's Affiliation with the UADW, CDE, IGAUD by The Good Reverend Gaylord
 The Good Reverend Gaylord has proof that the Temple of the Spinning Electron is affiliated with the United Association of Devil Worship, the Center for the Destruction of the Earth, and the International Group for the Advancement of Urine Drinkers.
Proposed new tax for your pecker
Pun Stuff. A collection of really bad (and therefo
Purity Test, 100 questions
Purity test
Put these on your answering machine.
Questions to ask yourself based on your astrologic
Quotable quotes
Quotes from Yogi Berra
Quotes from the Minds of the Missing by Marc Eriksen
 These are quotes and free thoughts that i've written over the past couple years, some written during depression, some written during anarchy moments.
Random Access Humor - Dec. 1994 (Text Version)
Random Access Humor - Nov. 1994 (Text Version)
Random Access Humor - Oct. 1994 (Text Version)
Random Access Humor Apr/93
Random Access Humor Apr/94
Random Access Humor Aug/93
Random Access Humor Dec/93
Random Access Humor Feb/93
Random Access Humor Feb/94
Random Access Humor Jan/93
Random Access Humor Jan/94
Random Access Humor Jan/95
Random Access Humor Jul/93
Random Access Humor Jun/93
Random Access Humor Jun/94
Random Access Humor Mar/93
Random Access Humor Mar/94
Random Access Humor May/93
Random Access Humor May/94
Random Access Humor Nov/93
Random Access Humor Oct/93
Random Access Humor Sep/93
Random Access Humor Sep/94
Random Access Humour Vol.0 #0
Ray tracing Jell- O - from Pixar
Real Engineers
Real names of pro wrestlers
Really inane stuff! Funny as hell
Redhead jokes
Ridiculous Instruction Set Computer
Road Pizza
Rocky Horror Picture Show script
Rodney Dangerfield jokes
Royal Canadian Air Farce's Throne Speech
Rules for being Male
Rules of the house (female)
Rush job calendar
Sam Clam's Disco
Sarcastic prose on methods of bureacracies
SatanTrek: The Dying Generation
Sayings For National Comdom Week
School of flames
Selected UseNet jokes of the day #1
Selection of top- ten lists from Late Nite With Da
Seminars for Women (an answer to Seminars for Men
Sewage plant employee at a bar after work
Sex life of an electron
Sexual Harassment Consent form
Short, slightly naughty joke
ShortWave Listening Guide
Sick Jeffrey Dahlmer jokes
Sick, disgusting story about a bar bet
Silly book titles that will leave you rolling on t
Simple, the most trivial programming language
Sketch about 'Green' products from Dave Letterman
Sleep Deprivation Experiments by Lucas Pereira
 In the course of my studies at Berkeley, I have been able to conduct several of my own sleep deprivation experiments. I collected the most data in Spring of 1994, when I took cs150 and cs184 at the same time. Here is a brief summary of my findings on the different methods of sleep management and deprivation:
So you think you're smart?
Some assembly language opcodes
Some fortune cookie sayings
Some funny things about marriage
Some jokes out of the humor SIG of a BBS in Califo
Some pretty kewl jokez....
Some screwy languages
Some unlikely College Courses
Some very specialized emergency cards.
Some wacky additions to the RS- 232 serial standard
Sonny Bono Jokes
Sorority Girls (lesbian)
Southern slang descriptions funny
Special Delivery by Reed Ackerman
 No, I'm not bitter. Why do you ask?
Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.)
 I hate to run over animals, and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.
Stage jokes, from orchestra pits to stage crew
Steven Wright text from standup performance
Story on Jake Baker - He got arrested for posting
Stress relief kit. VERY good way to relieve stres
Student screw- ups
Stuff to say to make you look smart
Style of the Pascal vs. the C Programmer
Summary of the World's Religions (joke)
Swearing in French
Swedish Chef makes Popcorn Chicken. Funny
Sysops' and Programmers' Excuses
Tae Kim, Paramedic from Hell, at 3AM on the highwa
Take the Kurt Test! (a posthumous, tasteless Coba
Tale (mf)
Tan All
Tanya Harding advertisment, promoting her business
Teleplay for episode 32 of FRAGGLE ROCK
Ten excuses given to policemen
Ten ways to spot a computer expert
Tequila: Leave Shyness Behind
 Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
Terror Bears
Test of Pervertiosism
Text file on Operating Systems: If Operating Syst
Text on Cartoon Physics
Text on various farts
That goddamn snow! A Maine transplant's evolving
The 1950's Wife - from a 1950's Home Economics tex
The 1989 ACLU Follies (a musical play by the ACLU)
The 1st edition of the RAT MANUAL (1990)
The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army by SGT Shawn Stanford
 Once upon a time, there was a SPC Schwarz stationed with the Army in the Balkans. SPC Schwarz was either very clever or very bored; but probably both, since he managed to attempt or be warned about 213 things he wasn't allowedto do. He collected those things into a hillarious list and posted them to the web. The site hadn't been updated in a couple of years and has since gone away; but the list is classic, so I saved it.
The Absolute Laws to Live By
 Rules that secretly govern your life.
The Amish File
The Ballad of Andrew Prichard by D. Nite
The Beer Blues by Sir Death
The Best Method of Circumcision by Bob
 Circumcision is a choice parents of boys in the United States (but no where else) are presented with shortly after birth. This article attempts to explain the different types of circumcision parents can choose to have performed on their doctor and the health benefits and risks that come with each.
The Bud Calendar of 1990. Drink!
The Conspiracy Surrounding Bread by Loyal Limpet
 The excess money that is skimmed off from these bread sales, is going to create a new super weapon. I believe this weapon will come in the form of a giant fish.
The Cypherpunks - Heaven's Gate - Solar Temple - W
The Dissident
The Elite Commandments - very amusing!
The File with No Name!
The Fraternity- English Dictionary
The Incredible, Amazing, OK, Rather Good, Nice To
The Interview
The Italian who went to Detroit
The Jewish File
The Joke of Silicon Valley
The King Lives!
The Linux
 Someone has taken the entire text of Dr. Seuss's 'The Lorax' and re-written it as 'The Linux'. Very funny, even funnier if you know the original, hope you enjoy this as much as me.
The Moon is a Communist Conspiracy by No More Moons
 The moon is a conspiracy... AND ONLY I KNOW!!!
The Mormon File
The Natural Life Cycle of Mailing Lists
The OS Virtual Universe
The Physical Apperance of Intelligent Aliens
The Programmer's Dictionary
The Pros and Cons of Death
The Purity Test
 How pure are you?
The REAL differences between men and women
The Safest Sex
The School Bus Conspiracy by No More Moons?
 The end of the Cold War started Global Warming.
The Secret Real Estate Code
The Shit List
The SysAdmin's Guide to Pricing Help (Humor)
The Tao of Programming
The Tao of Programming
The Taping rag file
The Top 10 last things a man would ever say
The Top 10 last things a woman would ever say
The Top Ten Warning Labels That Should Be On Alcohol Bottles by Andrew Waholek
 Due to increasing products liability Litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be considered to be placed immediately on all booze bottles.
The Trials and Tribulations of The King of Fah
The Ultimate Flame
The Unofficial Smilie Face Glossary
The Unoficial Smilie Dictionary
The VAXorcist. Very funny.
The Worm Before Christmas
The adventures of the Shroom Tracker #1
The arabian spy joke
The book of Quux from the Gospel of Lisp
The brilliance of Apple Computers
The canonical aviation jokes list
The collected sayings of Norm Peterson, from Cheer
The complete guide to ASCII cows
The complete guide to ASCII cows. Very extensive!
The convoluded ravings of an unhinged individual o
The crap list (newest version) VERY funny
The day Bell died
The differences between men and women
The dog named Jesus joke
The end of Brenda Walsh (or, what has Brandon gott
The first creation
The history of England as related in an alcoholic
The horrible practice of flag- licking
The latest and Greatest jokes off fido... strat y
The letter from Bush that Saddam refused
The many uses of what may become the most common w
The new Christian Religion: XDOS 7.0
The official Surrealism Test/Multiple choice versi
The official surrealist test. To be taken in a bat
The real reason you're so tired...
The recent tragic death of Sonny Bono and death of Michael Kenne
The robots are after me!
The rules of the house (male)
The script to Airplane
The tragic death of Madonna
The unisex, omnisexual purity test
The unisex, omnisexual, purity test version 4.00
The various types of users on a system (funny)
Things that will make you say what?
Things to do when you're in a bad mood
This file will tell you if you have been playing t
Thoughts on the science of Onanism, a humourous ad
Three sick jokes
Through Being Cool, a Play in One Act
Tiny Particle Derby by Dave Berry
Tips on how to take notes ( humour )
To my Loving Wife
To pee or not to pee
Today's safety tip
Tom Swifties (punny comments)
Tongue Twisters
Tongue- in- cheek rebuttal to the Dave Rhodes chain
Too much soap in London. Hillarious
Top 10 Things Overheard When a Klingon is on Your
Top 10 songs that would have been better than Sta
Top 10 virus jokes
Top Ten Things that would happen if Microsoft buil
Top Ten goes to college
Toxic Shock Fetus File
Truly tasteless, dirty, racial, crude, nasty, revo
Twisted reality
Two more ST:Voyager/Gilligan's Island theme song p
Types of Kisses
Types of SO's
UNIX A Tool of the Devil
 It had a picture of a small, devilish looking creature that has for quite some time now been associated with a certain operating system. In this particular representation, the creature was wearing sneakers.
Understanding Your Dick
Understanding office hierarchy
Undocumented 8088/8086 instruction set
Unofficial smiley face dictionary :- )
Useful conversions
VERY funny signs found in foreign hotels and resta
Very funny joke about Microsoft done in code form
Volume 2, parts 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 of NetWit
Voodoo for Windows
WHY?!? - Drug- induced weirdness
Washington State Lawyer Hunting Laws
Wauism: The Friendliest Religion
Ways to say things in writing
Wet Dream (bizarre)
What computer salesmen REALLY mean - a glossary
What happens when a jew is converted to catholicis
What happens when you confuse a photographer with
What happens when you kill a bird so big the FAA h
What happens when you run out of butwipe and your
What happens with a modem is used to much
What language is right for you? Or, shooting your
What no woman wants to see in a man's apartment
What to do with your Disk Drive
What's a lub- dubbs?
When, in the course of human events, it becomes ne
Whites are Good, it's True!
Who's on first? comedy routine
Whole whack o' licence plates
Why Beer is Better than Men
Why Beer is Better than Women
Why Bicycles are Better than Women
Why Bill Gates is the devil in Revelations
Why Calculus Sucks
Why Cucumbers are Better than Men
Why I Fired My Secretary!
Why I can't go on a date with you
Why I prefer Text Files
Why Softball Is Better Than Sex
Why Women are better than beer
Why Worry?
Why reality ain't
Why you won't get a day off
Wile E. Coyote vs. Acme Co. court case. Hillarious
Will Win95 live long and phosphor?
Words for tits
Words not heard on Television
Worlds Greatest Light Bulb Joke
Xmas Poem for Computer types
Yet another trip to the Land of Else #3
You Hit Me Babe
 A Duet for Sonny Bono and a Tree.
You Might Be a Redneck if...
You know it's a bad day when....
You know you a Ho when...
You know you are in deep trouble when...
You know you are whacked when...
You know you're living in the Bay Area when...
You know you've been hacking too long when...
You might be from Tehachipi if...
You think - you've- got problems? Here's a REAL ha
You're Between A Boomer and a Gen- X'er If:
Your favourite colour can indicate your sexual lea
Your friendly Town Bank ...
[00] (vDate)
a drinking song
a humerous play on words.
a thread of messages describing a newe game.. FUNN
alt.fan.lemur FAQ
jokes of the day
jokes of the day
jokes of the day
jokes of the day
real software engineers ( humour )
santa compared to sysop ( humour 0
This page Copyright © 1997-2006 totse.com.

totse.com certificate signatures
About | Advertise | Bad Ideas | Community | Contact Us | Copyright Policy | Drugs | Ego | Erotica
FAQ | Fringe | Link to totse.com | Search | Society | Submissions | Technology
Hot Topics
Will PS3 Survive?
Life Size Warthog
Wii Games
Rock the 80's
dawn of war?
Can I get a free Xbox360?
PSP Slim Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core Edition
Unbiased console thread...
Sponsored Links
Ads presented by the
AdBrite Ad Network