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Some names to think about for aliases
v
Display what file? aliases.txt
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZABCDEFGHIJKLM
NOP QRS
TUV "How To Choose An Alias" WXY
ZAB CDE
FGH written by IJK
LMN OPQ
RST The Sheister UVW
XYZ also known ABC
DEF as GHI
JKL UMass Bandit MNO
PQR STU
VWXYZABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWZYZABCDEFGH
Most people when they make their 1st
attempt at choosing an alias to mark
their computing "career" tend to reach
for the obvious, lets take a look...
MASTER
======
Never include the word "Master" any-
where in your alias because most likely
you are not. Master connotates some-
thing that you have total control over
which, of course, most of the dweebs
that are modeming nowadays dont. Of
course there will be exceptions and
some of us will tend to be "masters"
but the word "master" is so overused
that its not feasible anymore so keep
away from that. If, however, you wish
to include the prefix "Mastur" some-
where in your soon-to-be-famous alias,
then that is solely up to you.
DATA
====
Data...now that leaves a lot of doors
open. It would seem that a lot of
people would have chosen that by now,
but apparently not. I guess it is
because you can only make several alias
out of that: Data D00d, Data Leech,
Data Man, or Data Dweeb.
Now, you tell me why you shouldnt use
the word "Data" if you can help it.
Even if you could think of a decent
alias using the word "data", why would
you want to be known as a chunk of
info? Be my guest, use it, Im not your
dad.
DUDE, D00D
==== ====
I think its quite obvious why you
should not use any of these in your
new nickname. As Ive said before,
most of you skinny wimps are NOT dudes
nor do you resemble 1 in the slightest
way. Im sure that a number of you more
elite users are completely inherent of
the "Dude" aspect but that would just
cause people to question you, wondering
whether or not youre a rodent. If you
want to use "Dude" then I suggest you
prove it rather quickly.
"D00d", on the other hand, is quite
self-explanatory. Let the rodents of
the world use "D00D". That way we can
identify them more easily and kick them
off all of the Boards. A rodent is a
rodent is a rodent and will always be
one. Never let one trick you into be-
lieving he's changed, especially if he
used "D00D" in a previous name.
DIGITAL
=======
Well, I just consulted Websters Un-
abridged Dictionary and their defini-
tion of "Digital" is as follows:
1. Of, pertaining to, or resem-
bling a digit, or digits.
2. Digitate.
3. Performed with the finger.
4. Using numbers that are digits
to represent all the variables
involved in calculation.
5. Showing the time, temp, etc. by
a row of digits rather than by
numbers on a dial <eg. a watch>
Well, as far as #1 goes, I dont think
that any of you would resemble a digit
except the number one if you are skinny
enough or the number eight if you are
fat enough. If you resemble any other
number then youd better get to the
doctors fast. Now, number 2, ok, if
you can visualize yourself "digitating"
then have fun, be a fool. Number 3
kind of makes me want to laugh, and
very hard at that. Well, if you pick
"digital" for this purpose, then I
suggest you be careful with the other
half of your name. People may wonder
just what it is you are actually
"fingering". Then there's the 4th def-
intion which is fairly feasible, seeing
as computers and variables form a
comprehensible interaction. As for
#5, unless you plan to be a meteorolo-
gist then youd better skip it.
Dont knock it though, Ive seen some
decent names with "digital" in them,
Digital Madness being one of them. If
you are so daring as to use it as a
noun then you would be telling every-
one that you wish to be thought of as:
a finger, a key on an instrument,
or the last joint in a spiders leg.
Ive spent enough time on this one, so
on we go.
DISK
====
Everybody and his brother thinks of
using the word "disk" somewhere in
their alias, but thats so unoriginal.
I mean, shit, thats the first thing you
touch when you decide you want to use
your computer. Well, some of you wierd
people might touch something else, but
Im speaking for the majority of us.
If you didnt have a disk then your
computer would be worthless as far as
enjoyment would go, unless youll enjoy
the money you get from selling it. Im
sure therell be some "Masters" that
disagree with that, but lets see how
much fun you can have without disks.
You get my point.
Creativity stands a chance here.
This is one of the few words though,
that when utilized in an alias that is
out of context, can still sound fine.
For Example, "Slipped Disk" or "Disko
Dude" <see "Dude"> are acceptable.
BANDIT
======
One of the less imaginitive words to
use. I fell under this category at one
point. Coming from UMass (University
of Massachusetts) I merely added the
word "Bandit" on the end of my schools
name, how ingenius. I did that mainly
because I wanted to represent my school
somehow and that would be the only way
to use UMass without sounding too queer
or ornate. Im not so sure how my newer
alias is, but its not an ordinary every
day word.
As I was pointing out, "Bandit" is a
word that people use to make you think
that they are some mysterious pilferer,
whether it concerns Pirating, Hacking,
Phreaking, or anything connected with
the greyer areas concerning legality.
It seems, in my opinion, to be too easy
to merely tack on "Bandit" at the end
of your name. One name that has become
somewhat noteable is "Apple Bandit".
That mustve taken a lot of hard thought
time and effort to create that alias.
Think about what Ive just said if you
were deciding whether or not to be a
so-called "Bandit".
CRASHER
=======
Unfortunately, this touches upon the
"Master" concept. If you cant crash
much more than say, a D-dial, then it
stands to reason that using any form of
this word in your name would cause you
to be frowned upon as some derivative
of the word "geek". If all you can
crash is A-Net then you should go back
and consider the word "Bandit" because
even a user in diapers knows how to do
that and youd merely be "Bandit"ing
someone elses techniques. If you have
the know-how to crash many types of
systems then youre still at a loss be-
cause anyone that "Crashes" a friendly
system is a true asshole in every
respect of the word. Its ok, though,
if the SysOp is a dickshit, then you
can relax. If you plan on using this
then you should be more specific so
others will know just what type of
things you crash (Disks, Autos, Windows
etc).
HACKER
======
Now, this is a great word to use in
your name, if you hack that is. Hacking
is considered by many of the ignorant
people of this blasphemed world to be
a threat to society. Granted we have
some assholes out there who try to be
Mr Wargames himself, but there are many
"hackers" that do not fit that crude
description. Many "Hackers" are only
out to satisfy their curiosity and a
lot of places could benefit from
hackers if they (the places) would just
quit being such paranoid assholes. In
other words, "Hacker" (if you are) is
quite a noble word to help enhance your
alias. Just put some thought into it.
One good example Ive seen is "The
Ubiquitous Hacker" (famed Mender of
Catfur 2.2, remember?) or the "Unknown
Hacker".
PHREAK, PHREEK
====== ======
I myself dont approve of these being
used in part of a nickname, however,
you may disagree. I never said you had
to agree with anything in here. A good
phreak is noticed by his actions, his
manners, and his information. Putting
the word "Phreak" or "Phreek" (which is
a stupid spelling for a derivative) in
your name makes it look like you are
trying to call too much attention to
it. If you wish to have a name that is
relevant to phreaking then take some
of your jargon and work with that, you
know, something dealing with PBXs or
WATS extenders, or some bogus company
that you guys rip off day in and day
out such as MCI, SPRINT or AT&T. If
youre still at a loss then you should
pick up your phone (if youve passed
that stage), dial 0, and ask the nice
lady on the other end what her name is
and try that.
RAD
===
The word "Rad" or any form of it in
your name would tend to have people
believe that you are some type of mad
partying, incredibly popular person.
Well, 90% of modemers know that 90% of
modemers are probably scrawny little
losers (if youre offended then eat
some protein or twinkies, geek), 9.5%
know that 9.5% are pretty damn cool
people who have plenty of other things
to do, but get a kick, and at times a
challenge out of some of the things
associated with modeming (theft, drugs,
etc). The other .5% either just got
their new Micromodem ][e for Christmas
or are somewhere way out in left field
picking their nose, so unless you are
truly "Rad" then you might want to
shop elsewhere.
PIRATE
======
Need I continue? Well, some people
are idiots and in case any of you who
fit in that category are reading this
Ill be the great guy that I am and
explain.
A true pirate is someone worthy of
respect and praise. They spend a lot
of their time doing extremely hard work
so that you and I can enjoy todays soft
ware without having to pay for it. If
it werent for them then we, as in soft-
ware users, would be about 99% incom-
plete. I doubt that the only several
hundred copies of ware "X" thatll be
bought by law-fearing losers will get
copied from door to door and magically
appear at your best friends house for
you to copy. Besides thanking the
pirates of our world, dont make a mock-
ery of their trade by using "Pirate" in
your name, unless you bear any traces
of a "Pirate", and loading up your new
version of Copy ][+ to do your dirty
work is probably the furthest you could
deviate from pirating. That is called
"Mugging" and I doubt you want that in
your name.
ANY "DR. WHO" CHARACTERS
=== ========= ==========
Come on, do you want to live in some-
one else's shoes all of your life?
Besides, there'll be so many more mind-
lazy plagiarists (copy-cats) such as
yourself if you choose something under
this category. Ive seen a billion
"Rassilon's", so many, in fact, that I
now believe that I have to purify my
self through some silly ORB or some-
thing. Give me a break. How about
"Dr WHO"s themselves? There were a
"dozen" too many on the show as it was,
we dont need another 100,000 logging on
to BBS/AE/CF/ETC every day. It makes me
wonder if all of these "WHO"vites that
cant think up their own names actually
believe their as audacious as the Doc
himself. It figures. Speaking of
which.....
DOCTOR
======
Make sure you fix something if you
want to use "Doctor" in part of your
alias. Heck, you should at least be
able to utilize a Track/Sector Editor
for gods sake, other than that you
might as well just become a nurse, for
real because if thats the case pal,
then computing just isnt for you. I
once heard of a person called "The
Doctor". Whoa, just a minute here.
How vague can one get? Think about it.
"The Doctor". Isnt that just so
ominous? "The Doctor". Please, it
makes me want to puke. "The Doctor"
Sheesh, I better move on before I
lose it with that one.
ANY "STAR TREK" CHARACTER
=== =========== =========
Ok, now granted, Star Trek was one
hell of an intense series and just
about every one of the cast was a cool
person, with the exception of Uhura,
(she was the black telephone operator),
and the weekly unknown actor/actress
that gets killed off in every episode,
but think it over, then I suggest that
you follow these next instructions:
See: "ANY "DR. WHO CHARACTERS"
---------------------------------------
I suppose I shouldve named this "How
NOT To Choose An Alias", but the intent
remains the same. Stay tuned for Part
Two coming soon.....
Well, you can just edit the shit out
of this file to make more room on your
disks (to you fairies that do that),
but why bother, if youre like me you
probably dont pay for your disks anyway
Im not going to be like other hardass
people have been in the past by telling
you to "fuck off" if you dont like this
That is so overly-used that its forming
crust on the edges of the very thought.
All I have to say is that if you dont
like this then copy it to a dozen or
so disks and burn them all, that would
get me steaming mad.
ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBAZYXWVUTSRQPON
MLK JIH
GFE "How To Choose An Alias" DCB
AZY Written By XWV
UTS The Sheister RQP
ONM LKJ
IHGFEDCBAZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBAZYXW
(Company name soon to be released.....)
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