How to Write a Fan Letter

by tsunami

How to Write a Fan Letter

You admired from afar, going fap fap fap a while now... Time to send a letter of appreciation for the mass of masturbation granted. Let your favorite celebrity know how much you enjoy and appreciate his or her *ahem* work.

1. Look for a fan club devoted to the celebrity you're interested in. Many of these clubs offer ways for members to contact the object of obsession. Fan sites with a domain similar to the persons name... not geocities/nudepics...html or similar.

2. Begin your letter by identifying yourself. "Hi my name is obsessed fan and I masturbate daily to your bod!" isn't your ideal starter. Maybe just introduce yourself... "Hi, my name is *Your Name*...."

3. Tell the person how much you like his or her work. Be specific. "Wow, you looked like you were really going wild with your sex scene, it really got me off!" Would probably send the wrong message and I'd lie if I were you... Maybe "You really are such and expressive and talented..."

4. Ask any questions you may have, but keep in mind that you may not get a reply if your celebrity is very popular. "Could you send me a pair of panties you wore last night?" Think again of a better question! I tried, it never works!

5. Conclude by wishing the celebrity the best of luck or telling him or her how much you look forward to future work.

6. Sign your name. Include your address if you'd like a reply.

Tips: Chances are you're very fond of the celebrity you're writing to, but try to avoid sounding like an undersexed desperate stalking fan... ~_^ Maybe just a slightly obsessed desperate fan!