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You know it's a bad day when....
YOU KNOW IT'S A BAD DAY WHEN:
1. YOU WAKE UP FACE DOWN ON THE
PAVEMENT.
2. YOU PUT YOUR BRA ON BACKWARDS AND
IT FITS BETTER.
3. YOU CALL SUICIDE PREVENTION AND
THEY PUT YOU ON HOLD.
4. YOU SEE A "60 MINUTES" NEWS TEAM
WAITING IN YOUR OFFICE.
5. YOUR BIRTHDAY CAKE COLLAPSES FROM
THE WEIGHT OF THE CANDLES.
6. YOUR ONLY SON TELLS YOU HE WISHES
ANITA BRYANT WOULD MIND HER OWN BUSINESS.
7. YOU WANT TO PUT ON THE CLOTHES
YOU WORE HOME FROM THE PARTY AND THERE
AREN'T ANY.
8. YOU TURN ON THE NEWS AND THEY'RE
DISPLAYING EMERGENCY ROUTES
OUT OF YOUR CITY.
9. YOUR TWIN SISTER FORGETS YOUR
BIRTHDAY.
10. YOU WAKE UP TO DISCOVER THAT YOUR
WATERBED BROKE AND THEN YOU REALIZE
THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A WATERBED.
11. YOUR HORN GOES OFF ACCIDENTALLY
AND REMAINS STUCK AS YOU FOLLOW A GROUP
OF HELL'S ANGELS ON THE FREEWAY.
12. YOUR WIFE WAKES UP FEELING
AMOROUS AND YOU HAVE A HEADACHE.
13. YOUR NEW WIFE GETS A HUGE
VALENTINE FROM THE TIAJUNA TAXI DRIVERS
ASSOCIATION.
14. A MAN IN A BLACK OVERCOAT IS
SELLING MAFIA COOKIES AND YOU DON'T
HAVE ANY MONEY.
15. YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW BREAKS AN
ANKLE ON HER WAY TO THE BUS STATION
AFTER A MONTH'S VISIT.
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