|
|
 |
|
|
|
register |
bbs |
search |
rss |
faq |
about
|
|
|
meet up |
add to del.icio.us |
digg it
|
|
|
|
Problems, Faults, and Solutions for beer drinkers
SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,
beer is unusually pale and clear.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION REQUIRED: Find someone who will buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,
and the front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to
wrong part of face.
ACTION REQUIRED: Buy another beer and practice in front of mirror.
Drink as many as needed to perfect drinking technique.
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION REQUIRED: Turn glass other way up so that open end points
toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION REQUIRED: Go stand next to nearest dog. After a while
complain to the owner about its lack of house
training and demand a beer as compensation.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION REQUIRED: Find someone who will buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor swaying.
FAULT: Excessive air turbulence, perhaps due to
air-hockey game in progress.
ACTION REQUIRED: Insert broom handle down back of jacket.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION REQUIRED: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
If not, complain loudly that you are being kidnapped.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with ceiling tiles and
flourscent light strip across it.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION REQUIRED: If your glass is full and no one is standing on
your drinking arm, stay put. If not, get someone
to help you get up, lash yourself to bar.
SYMPTOM: Everything has gone dim, mouth full of cigare
|
|
|
To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.
If you have any questions about this, please check out our Copyright Policy.
totse.com certificate signatures
|
|
|
About | Advertise | Bad Ideas | Community | Contact Us | Copyright Policy | Drugs | Ego | Erotica
FAQ | Fringe | Link to totse.com | Search | Society | Submissions | Technology
|
|
|
|
|
|
