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What happens when you kill a bird so big the FAA h
From: ted@swrinde.nde.swri.edu (Ted Mueller)
Newsgroups: rec.aviation
Subject: FAA - Believe it or not
Date: 15 Sep 92 20:24:56 GMT
Taken from the Last Page, Motorcyclist, September 1991
(The article is accompanied by a photo of a bike in the background. In the
foreground we have a man in leathers w/ helmet holding a large bird from
one wingtip. The wingspan is roughly as wide as he is tall...)
---
Perils of Road Testing No. 23
Staffer Lance Holst recently set a record by claiming the largest confirmed
road kill ever recorded during _Motorcyclist_ testing. In fact, due to the
size of the bird and the circumstances surrounding its demise, Holst was
required to submit to interrogation by the FAA, as well as the NTSB, AAA, the
National Audubon Society and the Guinness Book of Records. We quote the official
FAA report.
"During a routine evaluation session at _Motorcyclist's_ desert test complex,
staffer Holst was traveling at a necessarily elevated rate of speed whilst
quantifying dynamic stability criteria of a test unit. Operating under Visual
Riding Rules, Holst sighted an unauthorized buzzard on the road surface ahead,
eating an unidentified dead thing (UDT). Apparently distracted by a
particularly recalcitrant piece of viscera, said buzzard failed to initiate its
take-off roll expeditiously and was still in the early phases of a full-power
climb-out when Holst (traveling at approximately 200 ft./sec.) realized a
collision was imminent. Holst's helmet contacted the buzzard just aft of the
right wing root, resulting in instantaneous and catastrophic failure of the
bird's flight-control system. Staffer Holst blacked out momentarily
immediately after impact but maintained control of his vehicle. Later
examination of his Kiwi helmet revealed substantial damage to its energy-
absorbing liner, indicating the severity of the impact.
"Eyewitness accounts of the incident indicate the buzzard was not developing
power after the initial collision and traveled in a ballistic arc of substantial
height, eventually impacting the ground in a steep nose-down attitude. There
was no fire after impact. The bird was not transponder equipped and had not
filed a flight plan.
"CAUSE OF ACCIDENT: BUZZARD ERROR"
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