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Why Calculus Sucks
-----CALCULUS PREFERENCE-----
or, "Why Calculus is shit"
by an unknown Uvic ex-calculus student
Calculus is shit. This calculus textbook is shit. All mathematics are
shit. Anyone who teaches or thinks they teach calculus is a shithead.
Any educational institute that offers calculus is quite shitty.
Derivatives suck. Integrals make me puke. Concavity is for people
whose minds have caved in. Polynomials are as screwed as anyone who
takes calculus, only more boring. Lmits have no limit as to how much
shit they make. Graphs are irreconcivably fucked in the head, as was
the asshole who invented the fundemental theorem of calculus. Wiser
than one who asks of logarithms is one who asks himself and others,
"What the fuck is this shit?" Once your mind is fucked up from Algebra
12, the only thing that can further turn your mind to utter shit is the
anti-derivative of a hyperbolic function. Calculus 100 final exams
should be burnt in hot, molten iron along with their authors, who are
all shitheads and, more than likely, related to the assholes that
thought that calculus was worth learning in the first place. Hell is a
remodelled Math 100 classroom, full of people who, after having a
carreer in calculus have been sentanced to an eternity of finding the
derivative of a polymonial function of infinitely many terms as
punishment to their stupid behaviours. If you like calculus, chances
are you're into whips, chains and hot acid as well. The REAL answer to
any problem in calculus "Fuck that shit", or in the case of a multiple
choice question, a small contained atomic bomb. The following theorems
are especially shitty: The Squeezing Cheese Theorem, Ass-Rolle's
Theorem, Snorting Coke's Theorem, The Chain and Bondage Rule.
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