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Golf jokes
THE RULES FOR BEDROOM GOLF
Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. Equip-
ment normally consists of one club and two balls.
The typical course provides one hole with additional holes
available at the option of the course owner. Play on a speci-
fic course must be approved by the owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole
and to keep the balls out of the hole.
The player attempts to take as many strokes as necessary until
the course owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure
to do so may result in being denied permission to play the
course again.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.
Course owners are permitted to check shaft firmness by any
appropriate means before play begins.
Course owners reserve the right to restrict the club length to
avoid damage to the hole.
Players are encouraged to have appropriate rain gear available,
just in case.
It is considered bad form to begin playing a hole immediately
upon arrival at the course. Experienced players normally take
time to admire the entire course, with special attention to
well-formed bunkers and the rough surrounding certain holes.
Players should not assume a course is in shape for play at all
times. Some players may be embarrassed if they find the course
to be temporarily under repair. Many advanced players will
find alternate means of play when this is the case.
Players are advised to think twice before considering long-
term membership at a given course. Additional assesments may
be levied by the course owner; and rules are subject to change
without notice. For this reason, many players prefer to con-
tinue to play several different courses.
Players should assure themselves that their match has been
properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is to be
played for the first time. Previous players have been known to
become irate when they discover someone is playing on what they
consider to be a private course.
While playing one course, players are cautioned not to mention
past courses they have played or others they are currently
playing. Upset course owners have been known to damage a play-
er's equipment for this reason.
Players are encouraged to obtain the course owner's permission
before attempting to play the back nine.
Slow play is encouraged. However, players should be prepared
to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily, at the
course owner's request.
It is considered outstanding performance, time permitting, to
play the same hole several times in one match.
The course owner will be the sole judge of who is the best
player.
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