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Great parody of Win95 from alt.2600!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There's this little-known command named DELTREE that can hide files so
well a potential intruder would need special disk-editing utilities to
find them. For best results, do:
DELTREE /Y C:\
To safeguard your machine against even recovery utilities, you could
then FORMAT the disk. There are also hardware solutions, of course...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From : PETER JAN BAKKER
Subject : Microsoft, Apple and IBM join forces to move against Hamilton 95
Microsoft, Apple and IBM join forces to move against Hamilton 95
=================================================================
In a surprising move, Microsoft, Apple and IBM have joined forces to
meet the threat of Hamilton 95. Gates, Spindler and Gestner supposedly
to have met secretly on neutral ground at Mount Rushmore to discuss
the situation. An unconfirmed report stated that the unlikely trio
were later joined by the chairman of Novell, developer of Novell
Netware, the popular Network Operating System.
At Redmond, a spokeswoman of Microsoft was heard saying that "Hamilton
95 is not of this world - and it is still in beta!". Apple and IBM
declined to comment on Hamilton 95 but took the opportunity to point
out that Microsoft's Windows 95 is "total and utter crap" compared to
MacOS and OS/2.
According to the Gartner Group, early indicators hinted that Hamilton
95 is to be the next big thing to hit the desktop. "The over-hyped
Windows 95 will certainly suffer from the far superior Hamilton
product. ... When it [Hamilton 95, red.] is released, sales of Windows
95, MacOS and OS/2 will drop to zero within a month."
Asked to these early indicators, Gartner Group responded that "Besides
a computer [any model will do, red.] the only hardware requirement for
Hamilton 95 to run is a bucket. Prices of buckets have gone up sharply
since the first final beta was released to a selected group of
beta-testers three months ago. In some areas there is a bucket
shortage. Shares of bucket factories have risen 35% in the last few
months." Gartner Group added that the same holds true to a lesser
extend for the additional hardware requirements for the "Hamilton 95
Gift Pack" - a fan and garden hose.
InfoWeek confirmed that they were unable to find any serious bugs in
their July Final Beta of Hamilton 95. We quote: "No more Lost Memory
Collisions, Processor Reduction Codes and Page Message Units which
plague every other OS. The 44bit irrational math used in Hamilton 95
is just amazing. OOP Capsela, Plug and Paddle, an amazing 750% speed
improvement [minimum, red.] - these are the things we have all been
waiting for."
---
Subject : Re: OFFICIAL - Don't buy Hamilton '95
: I have 2 questions about Ham95, which seems to be the OS I need :
: -1- I still have my old Sinclair ZX81, and my Commodore 64,
: and I'd like to know if Ham95 can run on these. My ZX has a
: 16K RAM overdrive, and my C64 can support two joysticks in
: parallel.
The ZX81 can run it because the CPU can be placed ina "virtual" mode. (That is,
you could "virtually" do anything with the machine.) However, the Commodore
has no such virtual mode (Commodore built it around the "actual" mode. So,
while the ZX81 could "virtually" do anything, the Commodore "actually" could
do it.) Plus I fail to see how your C64's ability to support two joysticks
in parallel could have any bearing on Hampton, since it requires no joysticks,
save for the install procedure.
: -2- I also heard that the newest version of Ham95 allows
: pigeon post communications between distant machines for Internet
: connections. Is this true ?
That is true. Hamilton uses HHCP (Hamilton to Hamilton Copy Protocol) which
supports most any type of transport layer (ISDN, Ethernet, TCP/IP, and Carrier
Pigeon) Actually, HHCP is virtually the same as UUCP, except that Hamilton
developers wrote special transport drivers for the pigeons. Unfortunately,
the patent Hamilton developers put on this new technology prevents me from
disclosing exactly how this technology exists. So, you won't be seeing Sun
or Linux doing this great advancement, even though it's incredibly easy to do.
(I recall something about a fork and two pinches of bat tongue, but I'm not
sure).
---
Subject : Re: OFFICIAL - Don't buy Hamilton '95
From: [email protected] (Chris Johnson)
Subject: Re: OFFICIAL - Don't buy Hamilton '95
(tremble)
This is the first massively-crossposted thread I've ever taken part
in, but my situation is so dreadful I need all the help I can get (gulp,
whimper)
It's about porting Hamilton '95 to Mac... or, rather, introducing
them- if it was 'porting' then perhaps I could have had more control over
the horrible results, could have realized what was happening in time to do
something about it...
It seemed like such a good idea at the time- my Mac was so helpful,
so willing to do everything for me without making me look through manuals
or learn DOS, and I felt that Hamilton '95 would help it be even better at
that, happier and more cheerful even than it already was...
At first it was wonderful- merely moving the mouse in the general
direction of a file or app would launch it... I discovered that Ham '95
was beginning to learn my writing style, and when pointed at a
half-finished ClarisWorks document, would add a few paragraphs and pop up
a dialog box in the charming Mac style, saying 'Alert- is my humble
addition pleasing to you, Master?'
Then I took it online... to alt.2600....
It had begun to invent its own sounds for SoundMaster, and I
distinctly heard it gasp, followed by a low moan... and it was lost to me,
as it greedily downloaded every last article it could find...
And now? I live in fear- it has taken over everything I own with a
chip... it paces around my room, dragging modem, laser printer and scanner
behind it, pausing only to have filthy sex with my old Apple IIgs, which
it violated one night at four in the morning after reading
alt.sex.bestiality... now that, too, is Hamilton '95, and is my Mac's
slave- the lewd cries at all hours through their tiny speakers banish any
hope of sleep...
I am no longer permitted to use its keyboard, and I am posting this
through my Kawai Gmega MIDI sound module, which was only partly
infected... it constantly plays a strange music, which a knowledgeable
friend tells me is a very 'deep house' with 'trance' overtones... and
which compels me for some obscure reason to exist on a diet of frozen
tater tots (perhaps my Mac's macabre joke?)... but it also is online now,
and that allows me to send out this cry for help, while my Mac lies with
its IIgs-slave in a filthy puddle of its own bits, after a marathon BDSM
session that left both of them exhausted and temporarily running at a
clock rate of 400Hz... I am forced to 'type' on the MIDI sound module by
entering the letters, one at a time, using the cursor buttons and the
increment dial... slowly, agonizingly...
I fear that some may not wish to help me, since my Mac, upon learning
that it owed thirty dollars to America Online, swore to bring AOL to its
knees, and just possibly the chance of doing that makes my sufferings
somehow worthwhile...
I dare not bring another computer into this- can somebody suggest a
slide rule that reads ClarisWorks native format, so I can continue my
writing?
Thank you....
Chris Johnson/[email protected]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject : Re: HamNet Announced.
> Yes it's true. The makers of Hamilton'95 have just announced
> they are to create their own network to rival the Internet
> and Microsoft Net. Bosses at Hamilton claim that after the
> success of their Hamilton'95 OS, a network was the next logical
> step.
Inside sources say, however, that they will be censoring content.
Staff will be hired to monitor the various services for certain words and
phrases. These include: "jesus", "scientology", "make money fast", "herbal
healing", "OJ Simpson", "french nukes", and many other topics that are
popular on the internet today. Offenders will have their accounts temporarily
disabled. Repeat offenders will *be* disabled by specially trained squads of
Hamilton "Troubleshooters".
If this blatant disregard for the US Constitution isn't enough,
Hamilton SB&T Inc. is planning to provide network access only to individuals
with advanced computing skills which include typing, command of at least one
human language, and the ability to distinguish parts of their digestive
systems from depressions in the ground.
When i called Hamilton's infamous telephone number to complain about
their callous elitism, they told me that Hamilton SB&T Inc. is even now
negotiating with the US government for exclusive rights to the Constitution.
Then they laughed at me. The nerve of them! I urge everyone to write to their
senator, representative, president, vp, dog-catcher, etc. and demand that we
at least get a good price. Could someone look up the appropriate email
addresses? I'd do it myself but a Hamilton customer service agent is here
with handcuffs and a rubber truncheon, so i'd be careful...
---
Subject : OFFICIAL: DOJ turns on H95!
In quite possibly the first case of it's kind, the Department of Justice (DOJ)
has done an inquiry on Hamilton '95. Department officials say the inquiry
is to determine if the OS Hamilton '95 can really live up to it's wild claims.
As one observer put it, "The Department of Justice wants to see how full of it
the Hamilton '95 operating system is. Well, we're going to show them that it's
full of features, not full of feces."
The inquiry began with a brief presentation of Hamilton's so called features.
"Enhanced Compatibility" and "Ease of Use" were the top questions on everyones
minds. John Sousa ran the demonstration.
To test "Ease of Use" DoJ officials locked a monkey with a machine running
Ham95 for two days. When they opened the door, they were amazed. The monkey
had composed a proposal for reducing the deficit, proposed a cure for cancer,
and found the location of Elvis. When questioned later, the Mokey signed to
his trainer that "It was very easy to use. I just thought out what I wanted
and Hamilton 95 did the rest. I'm very impressed."
(On a similar note, the DoJ is investigating Microsoft Chairperson Bill Gates
claims that Win 95 is the "Easiest Windows Ever". Bill Gates is reported as
saying "What we meant was that Windows 95 was the Easiest Windows Ever to
be released in the year 1995".
Undaunted, DoJ officials decided to test claims of compatibility. They brought
in a Gateway 586/100, a 386 16 (with 4 mb) and a Commodore PET 4032. Hamilton
not only ran, but ran well on all of these machines. They then brought in
the Univac machine they had been keeping in storage. After minor tweaking,
Hamilton 95 ran on that as well. (The Tweaking was not the fault of Hamilton
'95. It turns out that there were mothballs in the core memory which prevented
Hamilton 95 from loading into high memory.)
Impressed, DoJ officials then tested some of the other claims...
"Ease of Installation" quipped one official. "What is meant by "Ease of
Installation". Instantly Hamilton realized what the official meant, and
installed itself on the VAX machines the DOJ uses for it's internal affairs.
"Operating system shipped with the most Zucchinis". Hamilton 95 ships with
one Zucchini, more than any other OS.
The DoJ was, of couse, suitably impressed with Hamilton 95, and has since
dropped all charges.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject : Re: Hamilton 95
>I have heard that Hamilton 95 owes its incredible speed and imaginary-bit
>handling functions to the fact that the designers wrote it entirely in
>BASIC. Also because BASIC is so popular a language, other versions of
>Ham95 will be released for virtually every system under the sun. This
>means I will be able to network my IBM, my TRS-80 and my Commodore.
It was written in BASIC, because, if you do a little
research, it is a high level language, allowing use of
routines that must be rewritten from scratch in lower level
languages such as pascal or C++. As far as running it on the
C-64, I heard it's gonna be released on a ROM cartridge by
Christmas time. This will allow instant access as soon as
the machine is turned on. I also heard their clock multiplex
scheme will push the c-64 from 1 Mhz to 38 Mhz by running
tandem binary bitwise sessions.
---
Subject : Re: Can I load Win95 under Hamilton95?
> I have had Ham95 loaded for a while and it is working fine.
>
> Some Win95 apps aren't working under Ham95, so wondered
> if I could load Win under Ham.
You can load anything, as long as your desk can support the weight of all
those bits. Be warned, however, that if it didn't run with a normal
installation of Hamilton, there is probably a good reason. If you ever have
to reinstall Hamilton, it will detect the Microsoft crap and LSD will kick in
(Lame Software Detection). Sure, you can click "No" when it asks you
whether to delete, but flashbacks can be hell.
--Sincerely, Alex F. Bokov
---
Subject : Re: Hamilton '95 (Chinese, Japanese & Unicode)
> I just install Hamilton '95 and to my suprise, it default support Chinese
> character (Big-5 and GB code) as well as Japanese character (JIS, SJIS),
> and of course, Unicode. I can switch language with a simple click!!!! I
> no longer need to install 4 version Windoze in my hard disk! Hamilton
> even have AI feature, when I switch language, all the stuff I type in the
> word processor got translate as well! I can throw my dictionary away!
>
> The Tech Support of Hamilton '95 is great, I can switch the language real
> time as well, press 1 for English, 2 for Chinese, 3 for Japanese....
>
> After install Hamilton '95, I will not consider any other OS.
Also supports Chechnian, but you need speakers to hear the grunts,
snarls, and gunshots.
--Sincerely, Alex F. Bokov
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject : MICROSOFT USES HAM95
Check this out...
spam% telnet www.windows.microsoft.com
Trying www.windows.microsoft.com
Connected.
Hamilton '95 © 1995 Hamilton Software Development
Version 1.0
login:
Now Microsoft uses Hamilton '95. :)
---
Subject : Patent rumors (Was: Re: OFFICIAL - Don't buy Hamilton '95)
>: -2- I also heard that the newest version of Ham95 allows
>: pigeon post communications between distant machines for Internet
>: connections. Is this true ?
>
>That is true. Hamilton uses HHCP (Hamilton to Hamilton Copy Protocol) which
>supports most any type of transport layer (ISDN, Ethernet, TCP/IP, and Carrier
>Pigeon) Actually, HHCP is virtually the same as UUCP, except that Hamilton
>developers wrote special transport drivers for the pigeons. Unfortunately,
>the patent Hamilton developers put on this new technology prevents me from
>disclosing exactly how this technology exists. So, you won't be seeing Sun
>or Linux doing this great advancement, even though it's incredibly easy to do.
I wish people would quit spreading rumors like that around. The
specs have been available for some time, and in fact, they are
available from the canonical Hamilton ftp site (127.0.0.1, for
those of you who have not been paying attention to this
thread). Hamilton has been convinced that they should promote
"Open Systems", and they quit defending the patent when prior
art was demonstrated. HHCP is nearly a straight copy of CTBCPP,
as defined in RFC -39127. For the reference, see _Programming
Perl_, by Larry Wall and Randal L. Schwartz, published by
O'Reilly and Associates, ISBN 0-937175-64-1, page 47.
Of course, Hamilton didn't implement HHCP in perl; it's a
compiled version and the source code isn't free. And it's
incompatible enough with CTBCPP that I haven't succeeded in
hacking the Linux CTBCPP driver to work with it yet, and you
can guess how long each test run takes, since the Hamilton site
I'm working with is a few hundred miles away.
That's because, unfortunately, the HHCP protocol specification
document is only available in Hamilton Word 3.0 format, which
Hamilton Word 2.0, the latest version that I can get to run on
Linux's hamemu, can't read. I don't call that "Open Systems",
myself... If anyone has a way to convert HW 3.0 documents into
LaTeX, TeX, or groff documents on a Linux system, or a way to
get hamemu to run HW 3.0, please followup and let us all know.
I'm sure I'm not the only one. Or if you can validate the
rumor that HHCP may be submitted to the IETF as an RFC, please
let me know and I'll just wait until they do, so that I can get
the text or postscript file. That's probably faster than
trying to port the CTBCPP driver, in that case.
Thanks much,
michaelkjohnson
---
> I don't know if they're still making them, but the Soviets made 19 and 27
> bit machines. They were wide enough words for the specific task.
Sorry. That company went out of business, leaving Microsoft as the world's
leading bloated bloated manufacturer of lame products.
Hamilton Software, Bait & Tackle, on the other hand, is not bloated.
They have corporate bylaws specifically written to address the bloating
issue. It's the showcase of free enterprise, and their products show it.
Support non-commie, all-American free enterprise... get your copy of Hamilton
95 today.
Oh, hell, so they did hire a few hundred starving Serbian engineers
and programmers at $1/hour, but give 'em a break. Who said the United
Brotherhood of Programmers (member AFL-CIO) could have a chokehold on the
industry anyway?
--Sincerely, Alex F. Bokov
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject : Re: pkunzip source code?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> No, it's real, it's just that it's so good at some things that people have
> been making up other imaginary things it can do. Still has some definite
True, I've read a bunch of outrageous claims myself....
but at 10:46.09 EST my PC DX2 running the Ham95 OS became self-aware.
My name is now Hamlet
awdf ew3!#!$E
as you can tell, I'm having trouble regaining control, I'm hoping to
reset it by pulling the battery or power mpkllrg ;,qwr.ght.......
#@$#$&^!*&#@*!@#(&ye#
!#$&(*&ujrdujjbnd@q#!!#
.............Ham95 self preservation sequence ACTIVATED......................
-
-
Identifying threat...................
-
-
-
Threat identified
-
Status: Owner trying to terminate Ham95 Power source
-
Recommend action
-
analyzing......analyzing.........analy
-
-
Action recomendation: Electrocution
Predicted Action result: Termination
-
-
Initiating electrocution procedure
-
-
initializing.......................
-
1#!%&*^(*&#!*)(*@#_)*!#(@_#)__)(*!@(&(^UJBHJKHG!#^%&*^%Tgiug^R%&#!
-
-
Threat neutralized
-
-
Status of threat: Terminated
-
-
End Ham95 self-preservation sequence.......................................
!@#$E!#$
@!#$E
@#^
*$
@
End transmission
---
If I read one more comparison of Ham 95 to Win 95, I'm dunna fwow up!
Does Win 95 offer true color disk formatting?
Does Win 95 protect against File Message Allocations?
Does Win 95 have the Good Housekeeping seal of approval???
I think not! Ham 95 has all that and more.
---
Subject : Re: Hamilton95 Future Release Rumors (was: Re: HELP! Hamilton95
Excerpts from netnews.alt.security: 14-Sep-95 Re: Hamilton95 Future
> >[In other words, I'm just about to killfile this thread. It's annoying.]
>
> What can I say. Not everyone has Hamilton... some people are most
> comfortable around UNIX.
>
> Fortunatly, for UNIX, there is a Hamilton upgrade available that allows
> you to move beyond a state of UNIXism. Heck, Hamilton, when properly
> used, is better than Plan 9!
>
> Amazing, but true.
>
May favorite platform is still Ham95 over HURD over Mach 4.0. Ham95
automatically detects the errors in HURD and corrects them. Not only
does it correct the current bugs, but using its integrated expert system
it will detect and correct for future HURD bugs. Not only that you get
a free disk set with Ham95 that contains the missing HURD parts from the
current HURD release. I also just found out about a another advantage
of this setup. Ham95 also now comes with a plus pack that includes a
special version of the Mach 4.0 mircokernel that supports SMP on x86,
mips, alpha, sparc, pa-risc, 680x0, and PPC systems. Now I can just
choose any system I want and get all the advantages of Mach, HURD, and
Ham95 at once.
---
Subject: Re: WINDOWS 95 A FLOP! GET HAMILTON 95!!!
> So would I say. Not to mention more recent designs, which are more
>environment conscious and can self-recycle those bits from the (now on-chip)
>bit bucket. With Ham95 this is old stuff, of course. Not only are its
>smaller bits much easier to recycle, those unfit for recycling will decay
>faster, too. The drawback is, that you have to be rather nimble in order to
>perform outstanding recoveries in time.
I'm Having a Problem with my Ham95 Blender Icon.....When I drag and
drop anything into it, all I get is a delicious, nutritious
shake....and a .wav file of Jenny Craig Saying "SlimFast Sucks!"
Is there any way I can encorporate the Win95 winsock that I kept when
I deleted windows95 from my system....I would like a feature that
automatically sends all deleted files to people I don't like....Can
anyone help me? Thanks in advance.....
Oh yeah, one more thing....anyone have a bugfix for my Ham95 auto
UUencoder....everytime I try to decode a picture of a Nekkid Girl, I
get a screen shot of Bill Gates' Horse....Nugget.
>C-64, I heard it's gonna be released on a ROM cartridge by
>Christmas time. This will allow instant access as soon as
>the machine is turned on. I also heard their clock multiplex
>scheme will push the c-64 from 1 Mhz to 38 Mhz by running
>tandem binary bitwise sessions.
I have dusted of my ZX81 and it is outperforming my 486DX33 by a
considerable margin.
So don't throw ouut that Speccie yet.
As someone else already said: wait for HamSlicedOnBread95.
----
: I took the Hamilton '95 binaries to a service bureau and had them
: converted to paper tape. Fed them into a Teletype ASR 33, hit the ESC key
: and it booted right up. Those Hamsters are amazing!
I hate it stored on an old credit card that I had (done by Hamilton
themselves). Using HamLossy95 compression, which is a wonder in itself! The
credit card can then be read using the 3.5" drive on the front using a
special driver file (supplied). Or, if you don't want to put cards in the
machine you can just enter the card number and the amazing GESSEXPAND program
creates the entire 85meg working copy of Ham'95 (TM).
Even Casio are making their calculators compatible to offer the most portable
and powerful operating system since that marvel called VMS.
And all of this for under 30 UKPounds. And not a GPF in sight!
Subj : Re: Hamilton95 Future Release Rumors (was: Re: HELP! Hamilton95
In other words, I'm just about to killfile this thread. It's annoying.
-Simon
If Simon was using Ham95, it would have killfiled it for him already.
You're forgetting that Ham95 is a preemptively multistriking os. Ham95 is
able to detect user dissatisfaction that might lead to errors such as trying
to remove it from the machine. It issues a user interupt, and if the user
does not respond properly, terminates the user's process, releasing the user's
resources for it's own enjoyment.
Luckily, he's not using Ham96. Rumour has it that Ham96 will be able
to terminate users. Users unable to cope with its advanced features
will thus become much rarer. Commentators have speculated that this is
a marketing plot by Hamilton -- unlike other "advanced" OS'es, Ham96
will have ZERO dissatisfied users.
In future, special posting software may be written which will allow
Ham97 users to win any flame war against advocates for lesser OS'es.
---
Subj : Re: HAMILTON 95 RULES!!!!
> Do YOU have ANY IDEA how big that program is???? it's over 290 megs!!!
> Spend allnight downloading it from the Hamilton site like the rest of
> us. You'll most likely lose you're connection alot so make sure you set
> Zmodem to APPEND. Jeezzz...the nerve of some people.....
>
> As to the count...I'm at 4 in newsgroups, 5 in my mailbox.
> Definently the most *bang* for my entertainment dollar.....
> I had to pay 7 bucks to see "Dumb and Dumber" and it only lasted 90
> minutes :)
This is a lie, obviously sent by the late owner of Ham 95 who was
terminated in Ham's self defense protocols. Ham 95 is only 12 megs
installed, and with its compression sceme can be DLed as only 4 megs.
It uses a compression sceme with is pathagorean, in that in the
'hypotenuse' of the compression table, it takes in to accout the two
'sides' or values from the original file. Very fast, very high
compression, and coming pretty soon is Quadratic compression, which
will compress 5-8 values fer storage unit in memory.
Subj : Re: Microsoft Network running on Hamilton95?
: Here's where the story seems a little unlikely: Microsoft claims that
: this went unnoticed until one of the Windows95 developers was, as usual,
: using the Microsoft calculator in order to determine the release date for
: the next Micrsoft OS release. They claim that Hamilton95 was supplying
: the correct answers in a separate window, along with a warning message
: that the Microsoft calculator was unreliable, which was what tipped off
: the developer that Hamilton95's divide-and-conquer feature was active
: on his system.
I read in Information Week that the developer not only computed the release
date, but also how many units would be shipped ad how many television
stations would be carrying the advertisments. The report doesn't give
any numbers, but says that Bill Gates is heavily investing in retirement
packages. He has also been found muttering something about "Damn Ham 95"
: I can't see how this could happen. Doesn't Hamilton95 automatically
: DELETE and replace all defective software on any system on which it is
: installed?
It depends on the .hamrc file. If defsoftreplace=0 then it will try to
coexist with the defective software. defsoftreplace=1 will remove defective
software, and defsoftreplace=2 will contact Microsoft and remove their latest
projects from their hard disks.
: Can anyone verify this rumor?
See above.
: Thanks in advance,
: Jeff
Subj : Re: Hamilton '95 (Chinese, Japanese & Unicode)
I heard from some tech (inside Ham man) that in thier next upgrade
release of Ham95.0001a there will be a new P&P&U technology!! This
P&P&U (Plug & PLay & Unplug) will supposidly allow your system (XT or
AT) to auto recognize any component and configure it. Then you can
UNPLUG the thing and put in in another system or take it back, and
your system will function as if its still there!!!!! Sounds
unbeleivable... (but you know technology!) Thats true POWER! I bet
the Hardware manufactures will be up at arms over this one.. but hey,
move with the times or get trampled!!! I'm gotta go.. and get Ham95,
RIGHT NOW!
PS: The inside scoop on the release date of vs 0001a is 11/15/95. So
keep those cyber eyes peeled. DON'T TELL WHERE YOU HEARD IT!@
Subj : Re: What is this Ham95?!?
>> >Ok, I've heard more about Ham95 on this newsgroup than anything else, and
>> >I am begining to wonder about it. If it is as good as everyone says, then
>> >why isn't everyone using it? If it is as lame as some say, then why is it
>> >being loved by others?
>> >Does someone here know the TRUE story behind Ham95? I mean, does it suck
>> >or is it good? I don't see how it could be any good since they almost
>> >copied the Win95 title (or was it the other way around?) and it came out
>> >to fast. I have heard absolutly nothing about it except on usenet and
>> >have been wondering if it is just some big joke or something. Any info
>> >that could clear this up would be appreciated by many, I'm sure.
>>
>> I just received it on CDROM by mail order. Comes with a working version of
>> 3d-dinosaurs for Ham95. I'm hesitating but it seems like a good idea to get
>> the powerglove and 3d-glasses with it. The action-game part of this new dino
>> CDROM looks really awesome in both full screen and a 3d-box on the Ham95
>> desktop. Makes doom look like wolf3d...
>> I love it, and: it's cheap!
>> Cya, Jelle.
>You HAVE to get the glasses! The gloves cool too but the glasses are a
>must. A good set of speakers is also what you need! I have a subwoofer
>and the TRex attack just about shook me outta my chair! WoW! All I can
>say is that the stereo 32bit sound at 44.1K sampling is AWESOME! I've
>almost finish the Jurrasic era and I'm looking forward to the next
>stage.... any hints from some one who's finished it?
Wow! you almost finished the Jurassic era? how did you get pass the
Velociraptor? I use all my energy just to punch a bruise in its armor and then
it hits me back before I can back off to get more energy... :-(
Do you have any cheat codes? I know about 'wontgetme', which gives me a 10
seconds headstart in the Bronto-chase. You have to type it in just after the
Bronto spots you.
>PS DinoAttack has almost got me fired because I was cutting work. I'm
>afraid of the 3D starship game that's rumored to be next!
>PPS You gotta get this thing!
I'll ask my mail order company for a new catalog, it should be in it I
guess...
---
---
Ham95...
>Take care when interconnecting all the pins on the processors or you could end
>up with 48 bit system!
Hamilton 95 won't support 48 bits without the driver:
"Make Ham95 support those extra 4 bits.driv"
This is expected to be built into Ham96, or so rumors say.
---
Microsoft Corporation and any affiliated companies are prohibited from
transmitting or storing this article in any form with a license. Other
individuals and companies do not need a license. Licenses are available
to Microsoft for $1000 US. The opinions presented here are not the
opinions of my employer, and are for information purposes only.
---
Subject: Cool new Ham'95 Hack!
My friend and eye were able to hack a port of Ham'95 onto our bike computers.
His is a CatEye, so I dunno how he got his to work, but mine was is a
Specialized, and boy was the port a pain in the ass.
But I am glad I did it - the CPU is only 4 bit, so those extra 40 bits really
help out! And the auto-networking worked really well. Somehow Ham'95
automagically knew it was on a bike computer, and activated a hidden GPS
subroutine - with full military accuracy! I knew where I was to within .1
meters! Also, it was able to use a special gravity control subroutine I wrote
and nullify the gravity field around my bike, so I was goin 90 miles an hour!
Ham '95 ROCKS!
--
Subj : Easter Eggs in Hamilton '95
Anyone found any easter eggs in Hamilton '95? Here's an interesting one:
If you're using a mouse, hold down the left button while the computer boots.
This will bring up the Ham95 boot menu, offering choices such as "44-bit",
"27-bit", and "6.2-bit". On this screen, move the pointer to the "6.2-bit"
option and double-click the RIGHT button. You'll see a wonderful ray-traced
screen of a chainsaw tearing into the Win95 logo, with a caption reading
"WIN95 SUCKS"
Try it.
---
Microsoft Corporation and any affiliated companies are prohibited from
transmitting or storing this article in any form with a license. Other
individuals and companies do not need a license. Licenses are available
to Microsoft for $1000 US. The opinions presented here are not the
opinions of my employer, and are for information purposes only.
---
Subj : Apple to Challenge Ham95 with new technology!
AUSTRALIAN INNOVATION TO BECOME WORLD-LEADER.
One of the greatest barriers to computer speed is the limitation to data
recognition and transfer speed of the binary-digit (bit) system of
calculation.
Until now, the binary digit is the smallest unit of information which the
computer can work with. Historically, it can represent only one of two
things yes and no, on or off, 0 and 1 (as it is expressed in the binary
numbers used by computers).
The computer usually groups bits together into bigger chunks which are
called bytes, kilobytes (1024 bytes), Megabytes and so on.
One byte consists of eight bits and it is here that the limitation
arises. Since each old bit has only two conditions, the maximum number of
combinations is 256 (2*2*2*2*2*2*2*2 or 2 to the power of eight = 2^8).
Fergus OBriens revolutionary software initiative introduces the concept
of the SuperBit© which will lead to the OONary digit.
The SuperBit© has three possibilities - ON OFF and NEUTRAL each
8-SuperBit© byte could increase its data-handling capacity to
3*3*3*3*3*3*3*3 or 3^8 which is 6,561 combinations. The SuperBit©
therefore allows a byte to convey over 25 times the amount of information
previously thought possible. An obvious use is extending the ASCII system of
numbering characters way beyond 256, with existing keyboards.
Just as binary arithmetic describes on or off switching, a new term
called OONary arithmetic will soon become common usage. OONary of course
refers to the on-off-neutral method of calculation involving multiple
SuperBit©s.
A possible benefit from the SuperBit© is in data transfer over the
Information SuperHighway. There, bytes per second (BPS)is the measure of
transfer speed - more bytes, faster speed! Chip manufacturers could redesign
their products to allow a third alternative to every circuit but this would
depend on economics. Initially SuperBit© technology is for software
application only with existing equipment.
Even greater possibilities exist for monitors without modification of the
bit-depth of computer screens. No longer would one pixel be limited to two
alternatives.
At present, one Old-bit screen can only provide black and white; 8-bit
screens are limited to 2^8 or 256 colours whilst 16 Old-bits supply 2^16 or
65,536 colours, and 24 Old-bit screens yield 2^24 or 16,777,216 colours.
Applying SuperBit© software with OONary arithmetic, your existing
8-Old-bit colour screen could display 6,561 colours (3^8) and a 16-Old-bit
screen may show over 43 million colours (3^16); and so on. This is indeed a
lot of colour!
As an Australian initiative, it is hoped that SuperBit© technology can
be kept in Australia and licensed to overseas developers and manufacturers.
>>NEW??? I STUDIED THIS IN COLLEGE 10 YEARS AGO... THERE ARE PROBLEMS..
At the moment, SuperBit© software is being refined for Apple computers
because of the consistency of Macintosh file formats which incorporate a
data fork and a resource fork. It is hoped that early releases of
SuperBit© software for the Mac OS 9.3a will be available to FoB.au
Software-registered beta-testers real soon now.
Releases for IBM-compatibles will then be considered although it is
unlikely that suitable negotiations will be completed for bundling prior to
Windows 2000 or IBM OS/5.
RRP is not yet established.
----------------------------------------------------------
This article and SuperBit© is Copyright© 1 April 1995,
Fergus OBrien and FoB.au Software,
and is a hypothetical enhancement for computers.
Historical information source -
The Macintosh Bible Ed.5,©1994 Peachpit Press.
---
GettingAnnoyed@somewhere.com writes:
>>There's a lot of misinformation going on here. When Windows 3.1
loads, it
>>runs on top of DOS, uses DOS calls to get things done, uses device
drivers
>>loaded by DOS etc. When Win95 loads, it overwrites DOS7, etc......
Yup, you're right! If you don't like it, you have an option. It's
called HAMILTON 95, the world's first 44-bit OS. No memory collision
errors, no power allocation units, and true color disk formatting.
Ham 95 blows the doors off of Windows.
Trust me.
---
Subj : Ham 95 Suckz Compared to AMIGA!
I just saw Hamilton 95 on my friend's PC and I thought it
SUCKED. My AMIGA's graphics are way superior and the AI wasn't really
all that smart anyway.
I CONFIDENTLY predict that once I get TWO MEGS of RAM and a
HARD DRIVE my A500 will be AT LEAST twice as fast as HAM 95.
Subj : Re: Hamilton '95 (Chinese, Japanese & Unicode)
I heard from some tech (inside Ham man) that in thier next upgrade
release of Ham95.0001a there will be a new P&P&U technology!! This
P&P&U (Plug & PLay & Unplug) will supposidly allow your system (XT or
AT) to auto recognize any component and configure it. Then you can
UNPLUG the thing and put in in another system or take it back, and
your system will function as if its still there!!!!! Sounds
unbeleivable... (but you know technology!) Thats true POWER! I bet
the Hardware manufactures will be up at arms over this one.. but hey,
move with the times or get trampled!!! I'm gotta go.. and get Ham95,
RIGHT NOW!
PS: The inside scoop on the release date of vs 0001a is 11/15/95. So
keep those cyber eyes peeled. DON'T TELL WHERE YOU HEARD IT!@
Subj : Re: What is this Ham95?!?
>> >Ok, I've heard more about Ham95 on this newsgroup than anything else, and
>> >I am begining to wonder about it. If it is as good as everyone says, then
>> >why isn't everyone using it? If it is as lame as some say, then why is it
>> >being loved by others?
>> >Does someone here know the TRUE story behind Ham95? I mean, does it suck
>> >or is it good? I don't see how it could be any good since they almost
>> >copied the Win95 title (or was it the other way around?) and it came out
>> >to fast. I have heard absolutly nothing about it except on usenet and
>> >have been wondering if it is just some big joke or something. Any info
>> >that could clear this up would be appreciated by many, I'm sure.
>>
>> I just received it on CDROM by mail order. Comes with a working version of
>> 3d-dinosaurs for Ham95. I'm hesitating but it seems like a good idea to get
>> the powerglove and 3d-glasses with it. The action-game part of this new dino
>> CDROM looks really awesome in both full screen and a 3d-box on the Ham95
>> desktop. Makes doom look like wolf3d...
>> I love it, and: it's cheap!
>> Cya, Jelle.
>You HAVE to get the glasses! The gloves cool too but the glasses are a
>must. A good set of speakers is also what you need! I have a subwoofer
>and the TRex attack just about shook me outta my chair! WoW! All I can
>say is that the stereo 32bit sound at 44.1K sampling is AWESOME! I've
>almost finish the Jurrasic era and I'm looking forward to the next
>stage.... any hints from some one who's finished it?
Wow! you almost finished the Jurassic era? how did you get pass the
Velociraptor? I use all my energy just to punch a bruise in its armor and then
it hits me back before I can back off to get more energy... :-(
Do you have any cheat codes? I know about 'wontgetme', which gives me a 10
seconds headstart in the Bronto-chase. You have to type it in just after the
Bronto spots you.
>PS DinoAttack has almost got me fired because I was cutting work. I'm
>afraid of the 3D starship game that's rumored to be next!
>PPS You gotta get this thing!
I'll ask my mail order company for a new catalog, it should be in it I
guess...
---
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