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Questions to ask yourself based on your astrologic
AQUARIUS: (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a
great deal but on the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and
impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Everyone thinks
you are a fucking jerk.
PISCIES: (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20)
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the
FBI or the CIA. You have minor influence over your friends and people resent
you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a coward.
Piscies people screw small animals and pick their noses a lot.
ARIES: (Mar. 21 - Apr. 20)
You are a pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick-
tempered, impatient and scornfull of advice. You are a prick.
TAURUS: (Apr. 21 - May 20)
You are practical and persistent. You have dogged determination to work like
hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a
damned asshole.
GEMENI: (May 21 - June 20)
You are a quick and intellegent thinker. People like you because you are a
bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This
means that you are a cheap bastard.
CANCER: (June 21 - July 22)
You are sympathetic, and understanding of other people's problems. They think
you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you won't be
worth a shit.
LEO: (July 23 - Aug. 22)
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leos
are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance
is disgusting. Leo people are thieving bastards and kick mirrors a lot.
VIRGO: (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)
You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to
your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while
screwing. Virgo people make good bus drivers and pimps.
LIBRA: (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If a male,
you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are excellent.
Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die with venereal disease.
SCORPIO: (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)
You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve this
pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son
of a bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.
SAGITTARIUS: (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendancy to rely on
luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks and
potheads. People laugh at you a lot because you are always fucked up.
CAPRICORN: (Dec.22 - Jan. 19)
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically
chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should
kill yourself.
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