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Capt. Janeway vs. Capt. Picard
Cptn. Janeway vs. Picard/Kirk
1. One word: hair, more hair than all previous Star Trek commanding officers
combined.
2. Drinks coffee, not that sissy "Earl Grey" stuff.
3. Beams down to the planet like real Captains should.
4. Mutes the doctor when the doctor gets out of line.
5. Hasn't let an adolescent pilot the Federation flagship -- yet.
6. Commanded ships blown up: Picard: 2 Janeway: 0
7. Voyager needs a female Captain. Its Captain must be willing to admit
they're lost and pull over for directions.
8. Picard likes to talk his way through. Janeway likes to punch her way
through.
9. Hasn't quoted Shakespeare -- yet.
10. Gives guilt trips that would make a Jewish mother proud.
11. Isn't French with an English accent.
12. "Take this cheese to sickbay!" I don't know why this is here, either,
but I loved that line!
13. Will give you two days off to ponder your life shattering experience.
14. Janeway says "I don't like you!" to her enemies instead of trying to
convince them to behave better.
15. Janeway has a First Officer with a tattoo.
16. She doesn't have any pesky Federation Admirals to get in her way.
17. Acknowledges freely when she breaks the Prime Directive instead of
trying to weasel her way out of it with philosophical ramblings.
18. 15 episodes without surrendering the ship.
19. Janeway's holo programs create useful things like doctors and lungs.
Picard's holodecks create maniacal evil geniuses who yet again take
over the ship.
20. She doesn't need to straighten her uniform every time she stands.
21. Kirk looked good in ripped shirts; Picard looked good without a shirt;
Janeway would look... no, they can't do that on network television.
22. Slouches in her chair even in critical life-threatening moments.
23. Picard tells alien cultures, "I hope our two cultures will one day come
to a greater understanding." Janeway threatens them with "the
deadliest of force".
24. Janeway doesn't have to point which way to go when they set off.
25. Maintains an elaborate hairdo that would baffle even Princess Leia.
26. Has mastered facial expression understood by all to mean, "Boy, Paris,
are YOU ever stupid."
27. Hugs her Vulcan from time to time.
28. Has a more manly voice.
29. Has a dog and a significant other, not some damn fish!
30. At least she doesn't have to yell "Hot!" at her cook every time she wants
something to drink.
31. Her ship has neat-looking folding warp nacelles.
32. Her CONN officer can use contractions.
33. None of the crew members' relatives have ever tried to take over
the ship, invade the Federation, steal a starship, or enslave all
humankind.
34. To help her relax, Janeway's first officer helps her contact her spirit
guide. Picard's first officer helps him get... to Risa.
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