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NetWit volume 2 #1

From: MX%"[email protected].edu" 21-JUL-1992 15:26:15.79
To: COMPTEC91006
CC:
Subj: Netwit Volume 2, Number 1

To: [email protected]
X-Mailer: fastmail [version 2.3 PL11]

[Welcome to the new format. I hope everyone likes it. Comments are
welcome. The mail system here has been screwed up since Saturday, so
If you sent me mail that I did not respond to, please resend it. -jk]

______________________________________________________________________________

Submitted by: elizabeth a fannin <[email protected].edu>
Subject: my mother
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

my mother, in her first nervous year teaching english at U.K., introduced the
next topic once by saying "now we'll look at the fable of the grant and the
asshopper..."

______________________________________________________________________________

Submitted by: "Bart Schorsch" <[email protected]>
Subject: A horse is sitting in a bar
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

A horse is sitting in a bar telling his troubles to the bartender.

"You know, the craziest thing happened to me today. I was sitting in this
little stall, a bell rang and the gate opened up. I was scared, so I took off
running! Two minutes later, I'm standing in the winner's circle with a wreath
around my neck!"

Another horse, further down the bar, says, "That's incredible! The same thing
happened to me! I was sitting in my little stall, a bell rang and the gate
opened up. I was scared, so I took off running. Two minutes later, I'm
standing in the winner's circle with a wreath around my neck!"

A dog at the end of the bar looks up and says, "That's amazing! I was sitting
in my little stall, the gate opened, a rabbit took off, I started chasing it,
and a minute later, I'm standing in the winner's circle!"

First horse looks at the second horse and says, "Get that! A talking dog!"

______________________________________________________________________________

Submitted by: (UPI) LONG BEACH, Calif
Subject: Look, up in the sky. Is it a bird, a plane, No, its a truck driver.
Liberated from Henry_Cate_III's 'Life'. ([email protected])
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___


(UPI) LONG BEACH, Calif. -- Look, up in the sky. Is it a bird, a plane, the
space shuttle? No. It's Larry Walters at 16,000 feet in his lawn chair.
Walters, 33, a truck driver, spent nearly two hours in the air Friday
in an aluminum lawn chair suspended from a 50-foot cable attached to 45
helium-filled weather balloons.
Among other things, he threw a scare into a couple of airline pilots who
happened across the path of his weird flying contraption.
"I know it sounds strange but it's true," said a Long Beach police officer.
"The guy just filled up some balloons with helium, strapped on a parachute,
grabbed a BB gun and took off."
But everything didn't go as planned and Walters had a few dicey moments
as he started getting numb in the cold atmosphere at 16,000 feet and decided
to descend -- which he accomplished by popping some of the balloons with
the BB gun. As he neared the ground he saw power lines.
"That's when I got scared," he said. "Those things can fry you."
He didn't get fried, the balloons draped themselves across the wires,
leaving Walters dangling in his chair a few feet off the ground and he dropped
to earth. The landing knocked out power in the neighborhood for 20 minutes.
"I have fulfilled my 20-year dream," said Walters, a truck driver for
a company that makes TV commercials. "I'm staying on the ground. I proved
to myself that the thing works."
In addition to the BB gun and the parachute, Walter carried several one-gallon
water jugs for ballast, a life vest and a CB radio.
"But the best piece of equipment was the lawn chair," Walters said.
"It was a Sears. It was extremely comfortable."
Walters told authorities he was trying to drift to the Mojave Desert,
site of Sunday's scheduled space shuttle Columbia landing, but the winds
didn't cooperate.
"I wasn't trying to upstage the space shuttle," Walters said. "I would
have landed well away from there. I just wanted to lay back and enjoy it
all, but I had to do something when my toes started getting numb."
Police said they probably would not file charges against Walters. But
the Federal Aviation Administration was investigating, mainly because of
the scare Walters gave the airline pilots who came across him at 16,000 feet
in his flying lawn chair.

______________________________________________________________________________

The above collection of characters was mailed to you by Jeffrey H. Knodel
under the title _Netwit_. The humor contained herin is in the public domain,
and is yours to do with as you will, so long as you retain all information
regarding the original source. No mention of this list is required.
To subscribe, send mail to [email protected].edu that includes your full
and correct usenet email address, and a request to be added to the list.
__________________________Send Jokes--Have a nice day._________________________

 
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