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NetWit volume 2 #2
From: MX%"[email protected].edu" 21-JUL-1992 20:27:32.45
To: COMPTEC91006
CC:
Subj: Netwit Volume 2, Number 2
To: [email protected]
X-Mailer: fastmail [version 2.3 PL11]
______________________________________________________________________________
Submitted by: [email protected] (thomas spencer Univ Mich 6-6770)
Subject: what part of the body goes to heaven first
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
An elementary schoolteacher decides to have a discussion about
heaven, in particular about what part of the body goes to heaven first.
A little girl pipes up, "Your head, since that's where your
brain is."
"No it doesn't," says another, "It's your heart, because that's
where love is."
"No, No, that's not right,", says a little boy. "It's your legs."
"Your legs?" says the teacher. "Why do you say your legs?"
"Because," says the little boy, "The other night I saw my mommy
and daddy in bed together, and my mommy's legs were raised in the air
and she was screaming 'Oh God, I'm coming'."
______________________________________________________________________________
Submitted by: [email protected] (Virgilio Velasco)
Subject: Help with transtators needed
Swiped from: sci.electronics
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
Help! I'm trying to build a tricorder for my EE masteral
thesis, but I couldn't find any transtators anywhere. Can someone
help me out?
______________________________________________________________________________
Subject: What to do with a pair of moleskin trousers
Liberated from Henry_Cate_III's 'Life'. ([email protected])
___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ______ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
OWATONNA, Minn (AP) {found in a newpaper from Buffalo, NY}
Roy Colette and his brother-in-law have been exchanging the same pair of
pants as a Christmas present for 11 years - and each time the package gets
harder to open. This year the pants came wrapped in a car mashed into a
3-foot cube.
The trousers are in the glove compartment of a 1974 Gremlin. Now Collette's
plotting his revenge - if he can get them out.
It all started when Collette received a pair of moleskin trousers from his
brother-in-law, Larry Kunkel of Bensenville, Ill.
Kunkel's mother had given her son the britches when he was a college student.
He wore them a few times, but they froze stiff in cold weather and he didn't
like them. So he gave them to Collette.
Collette, who called the moleskins "miserable", wore them three times, then
wrapped them up and gave them back to Kunkel for Christmas the next year.
The friendly exchange continued routinely until Collette twisted the pants
tightly, stuffed them into a 3-foot-long, 1-inch wide tube and gave them back
to Kunkel.
The next Christmas, Kunkel compressed the pants into a 7-inch square, wrapped
them with wire and gave the "bale" to Collette.
Not to be outdone, the next year Collette put the pants into a 2-foot-square
crate filled with stones, nailed it shut, banded it with steel and gave the
trusty trousers back to Kunkel.
The brothers agreed to end the caper if the trousers were damaged. But they
were as careful as they were clever.
Kunkel had the pants mounted inside an insulated window that had a 20-year
guarantee and shipped them off to Collette.
Collette broke the glass, recovered the trousers, stuffed them into a 5-inch
coffee can and soldered it shut. The can was put in a 5-gallon container
filled with concrete and reinforcing rods and given to Kunkel the following
Christmas.
Two years ago, Kunkel installed the pants in a 225-pound homemade steel ashtray
made from 8-inch steel casings and etched Collette's name on the side.
Collette had trouble retrieving the treasured trousers, but succeeded without
burning them with a cutting torch.
Last Christmas, Collette found a 600-pound safe and hauled it to Viracon
Inc. in Owatonna, where the shipping department decorated it with red and
green stripes, put the pants inside and welded the safe shut. The safe was
then shipped to Kunkel, who is the plant manager for Viracon's outlet in
Bensenville.
Last week, the pants were trucked to Owatonna, 55 miles south of Minneapolis,
in a drab green, 3-foot cube that once was a car with 95,000 miles on it.
A note attached to the 2,000-pound scrunched car advised Collette that the
pants were inside the glove compartment.
"This will take some planning," Collette said. "I will definitely get them
out. I'm confident." But he's waiting until January to think about how
to recover the bothersome britches.
"Wait until next year," he warned. "I'm on the offensive again."
______________________________________________________________________________
The above collection of characters was mailed to you by Jeffrey H. Knodel
under the title _Netwit_. The humor contained herin is in the public domain,
and is yours to do with as you will, so long as you retain all information
regarding the original source. No mention of this list is required.
To subscribe, send mail to [email protected].edu that includes your full
and correct usenet email address, and a request to be added to the list.
__________________________Send Jokes--Have a nice day._________________________
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