|
|
 |
|
|
|
register |
bbs |
search |
rss |
faq |
about
|
|
|
meet up |
add to del.icio.us |
digg it
|
|
|
|
Netwit Vol. 2 #12
From: MX%"[email protected].edu" 31-JUL-1992 00:36:49.07
To: COMPTEC91006
CC:
Subj: Netwit Volume 2, Number 12
To: [email protected]
X-Mailer: fastmail [version 2.3 PL11]
______________________________________________________________________________
Submitted by: <unknown>
Subject: [Groan!]
Liberated from Henry_Cate_III's 'Life'. ([email protected])
______
There was this girl who was such an airhead that she thought 'nirvana' was
where Wheel of Fortune contestants stand.
______________________________________________________________________________
Submitted by: <unknown>
Subject: [Who died and left me all of these puns...?]
Liberated from Henry_Cate_III's 'Life'. ([email protected])
______
There was this doctor that always went to the country club and ordered an
almond daquiri. It was his standard. Anyway, one day the bartender was
out of almonds so he substituted something else. The doctor came in and
ordered the usual. When he got it, he tasted it and said to the bartender
" Hey, is this my usual almond daquiri?" The bartender replied, " No, that
is a hickory daquiri, doc."
______________________________________________________________________________
Submitted by: Mike Arras <[email protected]>
Subject: [I think I may have included this before, but...]
______
I am writing in response to your request for additional
information for block number three of the accident reporting form.
I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in
your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the
following detail will be sufficient.
I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident,
I was working alone on the top section of my new 80 foot tower.
When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the
course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds
of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now un-needed
tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in
a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached
to the gin pole at the top of the tower.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the
tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I
went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly
to insure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools. You will
note in block number eleven of the accident reporting form, that
I weigh only 155 pounds.
Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly,
I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed
up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level,
I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull
and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my
rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand
were two knuckles deep into the pulley.
Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind
and was able to hold onto the rope in-spite-of my pain. At
approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit
the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the
weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20
pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number eleven.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of
the tower. In the vicinity of the 40 foot level, I met the barrel
coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the
lacerations of my legs and lower body.
The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my
injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and fortunately,
only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however,
that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and
watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me... I again lost my
presence of mind. I let go of the rope."
__________________________Send Jokes--Have a nice day._________________________
The above collection of characters was mailed to you by Jeffrey H. Knodel.
The humor contained herin is in the public domain (unless otherwise noted),
and is yours to do with as you please. Submissions, questions, etc. should
be sent to [email protected].edu. To subscribe, send me a letter asking
to be added, and include your correct internet address in the body.
|
|
|
To the best of our knowledge, the text on this page may be freely reproduced and distributed.
If you have any questions about this, please check out our Copyright Policy.
totse.com certificate signatures
|
|
|
About | Advertise | Bad Ideas | Community | Contact Us | Copyright Policy | Drugs | Ego | Erotica
FAQ | Fringe | Link to totse.com | Search | Society | Submissions | Technology
|
|
|
|
|
|
